Do you consult your child before making a playdate? (parents, girl, playing)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If another mother calls to set up a playdate with your young child, do you ask your child if they want to play with this other person before agreeing? Or do you make the date anyway? At what age does a child have a say in who they play with?
I think you should title this, "Do you FORCE your child to go on playdates?" just to go with the recent theme.
I am not sure what age this would occur, but I do agree that kids should have a say in whom they play with. If a kid is mean or rough or breaks my kid's toys, I'm not going to make them play together.
I don't know why, but I was thinking of this situation when I was a kid. From age 5 or so, if I wanted to have a friend over or a friend wanted to invite me over we made the call ourselves and asked our friend who then go and ask their parents' permission. But once, when I was 5 or 6, another mother called and asked my mother to set up a playdate that weekend. She agreed without asking me and I was very upset because this was a girl I did not like.
Now looking back, I'm trying to decide if I was being overly dramatic or if my mother was in the wrong.
I don't know why, but I was thinking of this situation when I was a kid. From age 5 or so, if I wanted to have a friend over or a friend wanted to invite me over we made the call ourselves and asked our friend who then go and ask their parents' permission. But once, when I was 5 or 6, another mother called and asked my mother to set up a playdate that weekend. She agreed without asking me and I was very upset because this was a girl I did not like.
Now looking back, I'm trying to decide if I was being overly dramatic or if my mother was in the wrong.
In my opinion, your mother was in the wrong. My Mom did this to me as well. But in that case she knew I did not like the girl and was doing it for the mother of the other girl. Basically she threw me under the bus for the sake of someone else. Sheesh.
I would not make plans unless I had strong reason to know that my child would welcome the opportunity.
Beginning around age 4, I consulted with my kids. Up to that point, I could usually tell if they got along with another kid, and I wouldn't voluntarily mix oil and water.
I do think parents always should ask children about a playdate, especially if it's a new friend. It's common courtesy.
Nowadays, it's a joke in my house. Recently at a high-school function, I was talking to another mom who was new to the school, and one of my teen sons' friends apparently saw us and said to my kid, "Dude! Your mom's setting up a playdate with you and [the new kid]!"
My kids started vocalizing preferences around the age of 7 or 8. Before that, they just played wiht whomever was around. Even now, they'll typically be happy to have anyone over, with a few exceptions; each of them has a child or two that they don't want to have around, for various reasons.
If another mother calls to set up a playdate with your young child, do you ask your child if they want to play with this other person before agreeing? Or do you make the date anyway? At what age does a child have a say in who they play with?
I would say even at 3 or 4, you ask the child. Children have preferences about who they play with even in preschool.
Note, though, most kids will want to play as long as the other child has not bullied them in some way.
I always did, except when they were preschool age and I was getting together with another parent who had similarly aged children.
When I was a kid my parents made joint vacation plans a couple of times with families. I distinctly remember two trips where I didn't like the other girls, at all. That made for a very long week.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
