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Your daughter sounds sweet, if a bit dramatic! I agree with the alternative gift ideas and would like to add that it's never too soon to avoid the trap of "gifts for everyone". I swear, this caused a lot of drama with certain people I know within their social group and even some families. Personally I'm always grateful and gracious when someone "gifts" me with something but I'm not a generous holiday gift giver myself. I give friends gifts if and when I come across something specific, but not on any schedule and by now everyone knows not to expect something me just because they give me something and I stopped feeling guilty about it LONG ago
It sounds like you are raising an amazing kid! I love the bookmarks idea - maybe you could even go to a library book sale or something where they sell children's books for very cheap and let her pick out a book for each of her classmates. One of my teachers from when I was that age did that and picked a special book for each of us and then wrote a little note inside about why that book was the PERFECT one for us. You can often get early chapter books for as little as 25 or 50 cents!
Don't you love how kids know just how to express what they're feeling? I'm sure it did feel like a bomb going off inside of her to her! Adults lose that all too often.
when I showed her note to her Daddy, he started to cry! he's a big old ***** cat. We talked about how it could be handled in the future and whatever we do we will work on it as a family.
I was thinking of getting some pretty solid stock paper, mark it into 22 or so equal sizes on one side and then flip it over to do lots of decoupage, stickers, pictures from magazines, random words, etc being sure to include in there 1 little school picture of my daughter. Then we can use the paper cutter to cut from the other side and maybe even have the book marks laminated after she has signed her name and wished each student a fun book filled summer. Then we can use knitting yarn and a hole punch to make pretty pom poms. Thanks for the bookmark idea. I had nightmares about dream catchers all night....
My son has no interest in money, either. He suggested he put his money in the family-vacation fund. It worked out well. He looks forward to traveling and doing and seeing new things, it puts even more value on family time, he "gets" something for his money while still giving to others--his family.
This is what my soon to be 10 y.o. DD wrote to me after her father told her she could not spend her entire savings on Christmas presents for her whole class. I admit he did not handle it very well and probably was incredulous in his tone and words. I explained to her that she gets an allowance to buy the special things she wants, to save or give to charity but not to buy gifts for every single kid in her class.
She really doesn't want much and we have to guess at christmas and BD gifts for her. She usually says she doesn't want presents but she has "Wishes".
I'm wondering if she got this idea from some things i have done with these girls in the past few years. When we found out about a recent immigrant child in her class whose family had very little, we bought some blankets, clothes, food supplies, shoes and toys and paid one months' rent-all done anonymously.
She feels it is stupid to save her money and since she doesn't want anything she can't understand why she can't buy 22 gifts. She has no concept of how much money she is talking about. She wants to buy leggo kits and new shoes and hats and things like that. Have I created a monster?
I suggested she make some dream catchers for each child to give on the last day of school and she can spend her money on supplies if she likes. But I'm afraid I will be the one making the crafts as she is a perfectionist and gets frustrated if it is not perfect.
Now what?
This is a really good "teachable moment" for you, your daughter, and her father. It is time to introduce your daughter to finances and financial planning so she can comprehend money, its value, and beginning to budget.
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