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You say this guy beat you and destroyed your possessions. But what you are worried about is getting back at him? You want to hurt him like he hurt you?
How about a little concern for your daughter?
Why aren't you asking us for advice on protecting your daughter instead of advice on how you can get "back at him"?
I'd love to know how old you are because, frankly, you sound like you're 15.
Protect her from what? Do you think hes gonna come knock down the door and hurt his daughter?? No. Thats the point of saying "using her as a pawn" he LOVES her and wouldnt hurt her.
My age doesnt concern you. But I assure you I am not 15.
The thing is its not fair, he cheated on me and gets to walk away with all his stupid game systems and stuff and what did I get out if it a broken house a broken heart and a black eye??? He has to pay somehow
What did you get? umm... your daughter? Seriously? You're worried about him getting the game systems.
And sorry, but if he beat you up and threw stuff around - he already did hurt your daughter. Being exposed to that sort of violence is hurting her (and you're guilty too if you allow it to continue)
What did you get? umm... your daughter? Seriously? You're worried about him getting the game systems.
And sorry, but if he beat you up and threw stuff around - he already did hurt your daughter. Being exposed to that sort of violence is hurting her (and you're guilty too if you allow it to continue)
She was not home thank God. She was never subjected to this. This was the first time he acted this way. And I know it. I cant allow her to see her her mother being treated this way.
ETA: I was referring to material possesions. I dont even have a tv to watch now.
Protect her from what? Do you think hes gonna come knock down the door and hurt his daughter?? No. Thats the point of saying "using her as a pawn" he LOVES her and wouldnt hurt her.
My age doesnt concern you. But I assure you I am not 15.
Protect her from what? Do you think hes gonna come knock down the door and hurt his daughter?? No. Thats the point of saying "using her as a pawn" he LOVES her and wouldnt hurt her.
With all due respect, I assume he loved you, and he hurt you. Please be careful with her (and with yourself).
She was not home thank God. She was never subjected to this. This was the first time he acted this way. And I know it. I cant allow her to see her her mother being treated this way.
ETA: I was referring to material possesions. I dont even have a tv to watch now.
*sigh*
I can't believe this is even on your radar right now..... lack of tv is the least of your worries, or rather - it SHOULD be the least of your worries.
i completely believe this OP, because I used to work with battered women, and surprisingly this is a common scenario: A man cheats, his wife/girlfriend accuses him of cheating and he ends up beating her up. Another scenario is the man cheats, but spends all of his time accusing his wife of cheating. Anyway, getting back at him won't feel as good as you think it will. The best revenge is assuring that both you and your daughter have the best life possible. Moving forward is your best move. As for him seeing her, let the courts decide if he is okay to be with his daughter unsupervised. They may order supervised visitations. Good luck.
My spouse and I recently broke up over the weekend. He was cheating on me. When I found out he beat me up and when I called the police he told them I hit him too and the police said if they arrest him they have to arrest me too. So he moved out but broke EVERYTHING in the process. My crockpot, microwave, tv, kindle, put holes in the wall ect.
I wanna hurt him, emotionally that is. The only thing I have over him is our 7 month old daughter. I told him if he wants to see her take me to court, am I wrong for this?
I see some holes in your thread. I do not want to be mean or treat your thread with malice and disbelief however I will state the facts according to CA state laws.
You stated he beat you beat you up so you called the police? Well there had to have been some marks, bruises, scratches and so forth..if not then it is really your word against his.
You stated that HE stated that you hit him in return? Well when this is the situation the PD will call it "Mutual combat" And YES they will take you both in or not at all.
I understand you feelings on both counts since I have been through this myself however your objective should not be to seek revenge this is your child!
If HIS cheating is what is eating you up? Then behave as an adult and seek assistance through the courts and file for full physical custody with standard visitation and then go to the dept of child support services to file a case.
If there is truly domestic violence involved?
Then file for child support with a Domestic Violence document included.
File a DV protection order with the courts when filing for full physical custody.
BUT PLEASE ENSURE THAT THIS IS REALLY THE CASE...
If the situation really is a womans scorn? You have no right. Your now ex has the right to love and see his child while not loving or being with you..
I wouldn't deny him visitation of his child. I understand he became violent with you but if he has not shown violence towards the child OR he doesn't have a history of violence AND he is not a current threat by showing evidence such as police reports, he will be ordered to have visitations. If you deny visitation, you WILL be held in contempt and custody could be changed to him if you have primary custody. After all both parent have rights to the child legally.
If he has a history of violence and a current threat, I recommend filing a restraining order and filing for emergency custody. The reason is it is basically his word against yours and the judge will ask why you didn't protect yourself legally if you feared abuse. You must take legal steps to show the judge that you are considered for you and your child safety and not just trying to keep the child away from him.
Judges see this all the time where the primary parent keeps the child away from the other parent even making allegations that can't be proven. The judge may give you a warning the first time but if it continues and there is a pattern on your part of denying visitation, the judge will change custody because they look at it as parental alienation.
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