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I need a quick refresher on "Cry it out" for babies. It's been many years since I did this with my 13 year old. I remember it was hard the first few days but worked great in the long run.
How old do you start? You let the dry, fed, tired baby cry in crib.... go in and talk/soothe baby about every 10 minutes. Am I missing anything?
You gradually lengthen the time periods between check-ins. Don't just go in every 10 minutes all night long.
So go in after 10 minutes, then 15, etc. No talking, turning on lights or engaging the baby. Just pat them, rearrange them and go back out.
It worked great for all three of my boys, and was the only way I could get the twins to sleep through the night after 6 weeks of hellish feeding on demand. It took us about 3 days to work it out. LITERALLY the longest period any one of them cried was 22 minutes.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 02-21-2012 at 01:47 PM..
You gradually lengthen the time periods between check-ins. Don't just go in every 10 minutes all night long.
So go in after 10 minutes, then 15, etc. No talking, turning on lights or engaging the baby. Just pat them, rearrange them and go back out.
It worked great for all three of my boys, and was the only way I could get the twins to sleep through the night after 6 weeks of hellish feeding on demand. It took us about 3 days to work it out. LITERALLY the longest period any one of them cried was 22 minutes.
Cue the anti-cry it out scolds in 3 ... 2 ...1.
Ha Ha. I expect anti-cry comments. This method worked great with my 13 year old. To this day she is an amazing sleeper.
What age did you start?
I'm asking for my sister. My little nephew, whom I watch 2 days a week, fights sleep like crazy during the day. He is pretty good at night, probably because he is exhausted by then. He's 3 1/2 months.
There are different methods of controlled crying, so it depends on which one you are using. There are some who just close the door and don't go back, there are others who go back at specific intervals, there are others who go back after increasing intervals, there are others who let the baby cry but stay in the room with them. There are varying opinions on when to start too, though I think 6 months is somewhat standard for CIO advocates.
And then there are also those of us who choose not to do CIO at all. It is not an essential part of child-rearing.
Please keep in mind that CIO doesn't work for all babies either. My SIL insisted on continuing to use CIO with her baby and her baby would cry for like an hour every night until she fell asleep, and this lasted for like a year. My SIL refused to do anything different because she felt like this was what she was "supposed to" do. I'm just saying, if it's not even working, try something else!
There are different methods of controlled crying, so it depends on which one you are using. There are some who just close the door and don't go back, there are others who go back at specific intervals, there are others who go back after increasing intervals, there are others who let the baby cry but stay in the room with them. There are varying opinions on when to start too, though I think 6 months is somewhat standard for CIO advocates.
And then there are also those of us who choose not to do CIO at all. It is not an essential part of child-rearing.
Please keep in mind that CIO doesn't work for all babies either.
This issue is what does it work TO DO. If your baby is crying to express fear, for instance, then crying it out is just plain mean.
According to the author of the book "Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems", Dr. Ferber, a child can wind up with a sleep association. (Actually anyone can.) Say the baby becomes accustomed to nursing to sleep. When they have their partial waking, rather than sensing everything is aOk, they think WAIT this is not how I went to sleep! Also when they initially try to sleep, it is not the way they are accustomed.
The goal is basically to say to the child, yes I know that this is not your preferred method of falling asleep, but this is how it needs to be. You go in and reassure the baby at intervals that increase over the course of the night then night to night. You shhhh and pat their bum with I know you're bummed type sympathetic noises. But don't pick them up.
I guess my niece's sleep association was crying then. She cried herself to sleep at night, and then when she woke up she cried some more until she fell back to sleep...
But I understand what you are saying about saying to the child that it is not what she prefers, but how it needs to be. I just personally don't think that you have to leave baby alone to cry to accomplish that. I went through that when I night-weaned my oldest, but I never left her alone with her tears or refused to comfort her through them.
If its a daytime sleeping issue, its very very possible that the schedule you/she is encouraging is not the right one. Try a little earlier or later. My son would cry for EVER and EVER if he was to tired. Like 15 minutes to 30 minutes late on his desired naptime and he wasnt going to nap, just be angry.
And when we did the CIO at night when he was 6 or 7 months old there were nights when he cried for HOURS. We talked to the peds, did the steps and everything. It just took a long time for him to be able to self soothe
I guess my niece's sleep association was crying then. She cried herself to sleep at night, and then when she woke up she cried some more until she fell back to sleep...
My guess is that she had some other issue at hand that crying was clearly not solving.
Quote:
But I understand what you are saying about saying to the child that it is not what she prefers, but how it needs to be. I just personally don't think that you have to leave baby alone to cry to accomplish that.
Worked for us. We went from a grumpy, over tired little man whom everyone thought had colic to a well rested, happy baby in three days.
The word "baby" spans an awful long time and range of development. A baby who cannot speak can still cry a want. But sometimes Moms and Dads need to say no to the baby's want in favor of their needs.
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