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I look around me and listen to my friends as they talk about buying everything for their kids, ie, cars, tv's, atv's and the list goes on, even the adult ones (18+) are catered too at will.
So, the question is, "Why buy everything for them"? Your not teaching them a thing about responsibility, doing for themselves, or working hard for what you want and need. All your teaching them is, that mom and dad are the bank that's open 24/7. And when the bank finally closes its doors, they (the pampered ones) retaliate in all kinds of ways. Especially as a graduation present semms to me as a dumb idea, they're not finacially ready to take on such a big responsibilty without your money backing them 110% on the time.
Even when I was in high school I bought a $50 special car, my own gas, insurance and paid for all of it's Many up-keeps, but mom and dad still had control over how I used it. And if I screwed up, they took the keys away, even though I paid for it myself. And to this day I'm still glad that they maintained that control as a responsible parent.
But today I see parents going into debt buying their kids brand new cars and paying for all the rest as well. Then they sit there complaining that the kids aren't showing any respect for it, misuseing and abuseing it and that they still want more.
Setting themselves up for failure and complaining about it all the time.
You are right..My ex did that..he couldnt seem to keep his house but sure bought his kids everything when they did nothing to earn it..It was sad.
My older son made his computer "his life." He and his friends invented games on the early computers. By the time my son reached high school he told me that he was tired of being viewed as a "nerd." (He came to this conclusion on his own with no input from me.)...He told me that he wanted to become more well-rounded. He wanted to be viewed as a "normal kid" at least for awhile...So he put his computer and games aside and got involved in the drama program at his school and other groups and programs. He even ran tract for awhile...He came out of his "shell" and tried his "hand" at many different things.
I know a few kids like yours and they now enjoy crosscountry biking, kayaking and hiking with their friends. Infact they seem to be gaining in numbers with more and more friends doing the same things.
Some folks have stated that I should look for new friends and now that I'm thinking about, maybe you right. My DW and love to canoe, camp, bicycle and fish (I like fly fishing more than anything). Give me a good book, some wine and classical music and thats what I call "relaxation time". But a few of my friend thing that playing video games for hours on end is family time. I'd rather sit a talk with the wife and friends over a glass of wine, then to listen to a bunch of racket coming from a game.
My older son made his computer "his life." He and his friends invented games on the early computers. By the time my son reached high school he told me that he was tired of being viewed as a "nerd." (He came to this conclusion on his own with no input from me.)...He told me that he wanted to become more well-rounded. He wanted to be viewed as a "normal kid" at least for awhile...So he put his computer and games aside and got involved in the drama program at his school and other groups and programs. He even ran tract for awhile...He came out of his "shell" and tried his "hand" at many different things.
My best friends husband was the same way right through school. He joined marching band but only became a closeted nerd. He now owns his own tech company and makes 7 figures and now has lots of time to pursue his other hobbies. Sometimes being well rounded is over rated.
I know a few kids like yours and they now enjoy crosscountry biking, kayaking and hiking with their friends. Infact they seem to be gaining in numbers with more and more friends doing the same things.
Some folks have stated that I should look for new friends and now that I'm thinking about, maybe you right. My DW and love to canoe, camp, bicycle and fish (I like fly fishing more than anything). Give me a good book, some wine and classical music and thats what I call "relaxation time". But a few of my friend thing that playing video games for hours on end is family time. I'd rather sit a talk with the wife and friends over a glass of wine, then to listen to a bunch of racket coming from a game.
I'm with you! I've never been into video or computer games. I challenge myself in other ways and enjoy in-depth conversations. I like to sing and dance and "get silly" at times too! I've spent more time on the forum lately because my younger son is in the hospital battling a brain tumor. He's stable now and will be home soon. I "write" just to keep my sanity! ....My older son passed away a few years ago and my husband passed away last year! Too much!...But I'm a "tough cookie!" (Most of the time anyway!) I'm sure glad that my younger son enjoys talking about "everything under the sun!" And we've always worked on new projects together. He's "game" to try anything! (Like my husband was!)
My best friends husband was the same way right through school. He joined marching band but only became a closeted nerd. He now owns his own tech company and makes 7 figures and now has lots of time to pursue his other hobbies. Sometimes being well rounded is over rated.
I think my older son would have been happier if he had retained more of his "true nature." I've had a lot of time to review his life since he passed away a few years ago...He just wasn't comfortable being viewed as a "nerd" by some of his peers. He didn't want to "stick out." It was hard for him....He was labeled a genius with a high IQ in kindergarten and put in advanced classes. At first he was ok with it and "thrived." But later on he longed to just be a "normal kid." And he succeeded in many ways but not entirely. I think he became "lost" through the years but tried to hide it...I was a "nerd" and "misfit" myself so I can relate to how he felt. I still feel "different" most of the time but I've learned to live with it pretty well. (Most of the time anyway!) I even make jokes about it! Guess I've just been able to accept it more than my older son could. Sad that he is gone now. I sure miss him!
Then we have nothing more to say. I'm not on here to fight with computer commandos that get their kicks out of attacking other posters just because they don't agree with me. End of conversation.
I didn't attack you. I simply found the "Someone has to do it" schtick a bit much. That, along with your other posts here, scream martyrdom; something I'm not altogether fond of.
I know a few kids like yours and they now enjoy crosscountry biking, kayaking and hiking with their friends. Infact they seem to be gaining in numbers with more and more friends doing the same things.
Some folks have stated that I should look for new friends and now that I'm thinking about, maybe you right. My DW and love to canoe, camp, bicycle and fish (I like fly fishing more than anything). Give me a good book, some wine and classical music and thats what I call "relaxation time". But a few of my friend thing that playing video games for hours on end is family time. I'd rather sit a talk with the wife and friends over a glass of wine, then to listen to a bunch of racket coming from a game.
You know what's funny I could have written this sentence myself: "Give me a good book, some wine and classical music and thats what I call "relaxation time"."
But I also really enjoy technology. I read both paper and digital books. I love my iPod and my tablet. Obviously, I am a huge fan of my computer and the internet.
You have a lot of "all or nothing" thinking going on. I think you should reassess what you are seeing & ask yourself if your views aren't tainted with unintended prejudice.
I have mixed feelings about modern technology. (In general.) On one hand it's fascinating to watch all of the technological advances. Some of the technology and products are truly amazing! I'm not really "against" any of it per se...On the other hand new products and gadgets come out at a rapid rate today and everything is expensive during the early stages. (They usually go down in price after awhile.)...There is pressure to "look cool" and "gain status" by buying every new product early-on. (When they are at the "peak" of their price-range.) And our existing items and gadgets become "obsolete" really fast. No one wants to look like a "dinosaur" or "poor" by continuing to use "older models." Of course the "advanced models" come with new features. But it costs "big bucks" to try to stay "current."....And it never ends! New models come out all the time! These are some of the things that bother me. Both adults and kids want to keep "upgrading" all the time!
I'm with you! I've never been into video or computer games. I challenge myself in other ways and enjoy in-depth conversations. I like to sing and dance and "get silly" at times too! I've spent more time on the forum lately because my younger son is in the hospital battling a brain tumor. He's stable now and will be home soon. I "write" just to keep my sanity! ....My older son passed away a few years ago and my husband passed away last year! Too much!...But I'm a "tough cookie!" (Most of the time anyway!) I'm sure glad that my younger son enjoys talking about "everything under the sun!" And we've always worked on new projects together. He's "game" to try anything! (Like my husband was!)
I'm so sorry that life has dealt you such harsh hand. My mom live 38 years beyond what the doc predicted she would after three brain tumor operations and out lived my dad by 14 years. One damn strong woman, they broke the mold when she was created.
You know what's funny I could have written this sentence myself: "Give me a good book, some wine and classical music and thats what I call "relaxation time"."
But I also really enjoy technology. I read both paper and digital books. I love my iPod and my tablet. Obviously, I am a huge fan of my computer and the internet.
You have a lot of "all or nothing" thinking going on. I think you should reassess what you are seeing & ask yourself if your views aren't tainted with unintended prejudice.
I was once asked why I haven't gotten one of those electronic books by some fellas I worked with. And when I closed the novel that I was reading, (John Adams) and then slammed it on the ground, "Don't tell my wife I did that",, I looked at them and asked them to do that with an electrionic book and see if it survives. There's just something about holding a book and smelling the pages that brings me back to my childhood and my Grandmother who was a wonderful old world school teacher.
And I can see where there maybe a certain level of prejudice ikn my thinking. I guess I like being back with the basics, when it comes to my personnal time and family time.
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I'm not on here to fight with computer commandos that get their kicks out of attacking other posters just because they don't agree with me. End of conversation.
