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Situation:
The teacher enters the classroom and see a child sitting on another child who is lying on the floor of the classroom, holding his hands.
The teacher takes the child off of him yelling / scolding him and for dessert adds a penalty.
What the teacher did not see that half an hour before it, that "poor" child would not stop pestering and annoying the kid on top and only when it expired nervous he did what he did.
my questions are:
1. Is the teacher Correct behavior with the child?
2. Is there really a child on top Correct behavior
3. What to do with a child's frustration at not only plagued him he still got punished?
Situation:
The teacher enters the classroom and see a child sitting on another child who is lying on the floor of the classroom, holding his hands.
The teacher takes the child off of him yelling / scolding him and for dessert adds a penalty.
What the teacher did not see that half an hour before it, that "poor" child would not stop pestering and annoying the kid on top and only when it expired nervous he did what he did.
my questions are:
1. Is the teacher Correct behavior with the child?
2. Is there really a child on top Correct behavior
3. What to do with a child's frustration at not only plagued him he still got punished?
Thank a lot
and sorry for my english
I am assuming from your post that your child was the one that was punished.
Not knowing how old these children are....
The teacher can only address situations that they witness or are told about. The teacher saw one child on top of another and disciplined the aggressor. How is one to know what happened a half hour prior? Maybe the child is making it up to divert attention away from what they did. Maybe not. Either which way, aggression is not a solution. If the child was pestering and annoying the child earlier, the child should have told the teacher this was happening and ask to be moved away from that kid.
I am assuming from your post that your child was the one that was punished.
Not knowing how old these children are....
The teacher can only address situations that they witness or are told about. The teacher saw one child on top of another and disciplined the aggressor. How is one to know what happened a half hour prior? Maybe the child is making it up to divert attention away from what they did. Maybe not. Either which way, aggression is not a solution. If the child was pestering and annoying the child earlier, the child should have told the teacher this was happening and ask to be moved away from that kid.
Sticky question. Check out any "bullying" thread on CD and the universal response (aside from "the bullied kid asked for it by being such a dork") is "beat the crap out of the bully and he'll quit".
The child couldn't really tell the teacher without being labeled a tattletale sissy......I've known, and seen this happen on occasion...it's very sad when the child who finally resorts to violence to protect himself is punished....I guess that's the lesson that teaches you be more discreet when enacting revenge.The kid'll figure it out....and next time not get caught, especially not by the teacher who he/she has now learned to hate.
This is the problem with the way bullying is handled.
Typically the victim does what they are told by the teachers and reports bullying but then discovers that because the teachers did not witness the event that nothing happens. Bully learns that same lesson too. Bullying continues with the bully getting sneakier and sneakier. Victim feels more and more dis-empowered. Victime eventually fights back. Victim is caught because they have not learned the techniques of being subtle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mushky
Situation:
The teacher enters the classroom and see a child sitting on another child who is lying on the floor of the classroom, holding his hands.
The teacher takes the child off of him yelling / scolding him and for dessert adds a penalty.
What the teacher did not see that half an hour before it, that "poor" child would not stop pestering and annoying the kid on top and only when it expired nervous he did what he did.
my questions are:
1. Is the teacher Correct behavior with the child?
2. Is there really a child on top Correct behavior
3. What to do with a child's frustration at not only plagued him he still got punished?
These days its all a lot harder and the teacher needs to start before the incident and teach kids ways of communicating to others in a way that is not annoying / pestering and so on.
I tell my kids to stand up for themselves and if that means being caught and punished by the school then so be it. At least they still have their self esteem.
The teacher cannot address issues they are not told about. Kids can be sneaky and when you have an entire room of them, one person can't have their eyes everywhere at once.
Pestering is not okay behavior. Physical aggression such as sitting on top of another child and holding their hands escalates it to another level entirely. It is inappropriate. Frustrated child should be taught to tell the person annoying them to "stop it" loudly and firmly and if that doesn't work, immediately get the teacher's attention. If that doesn't work, get their parent's attention and their parent pursues it appropriately until it's addressed. Sitting on people who annoy you is not a life lesson with many practical applications later on down the road.
The "bully them back" technique which many advocate has its issues too. Not saying it's not the best of the bad choices in some circumstances, but for all those who claim the school won't do anything to defend their child, it does nothing for their case when it's documented that their child has acted aggressively against others. It starts to look like two kids fighting and picking back and forth, rather than one being bullied by the other.
Which is exactly how it looked here--at best. More likely, it looked like the OP's kid was the bully. Who knows where the truth was.
My daughter had a friend who was born with one partial arm. This girl had a bit of a temper and the other kids enjoyed getting her upset. The other kids would pick on her over and over until she finally exploded. The teacher never saw the other kids behavior, but always would catch the explosive reaction. This girl would get punished while the other kids got nothing. This went on for years until the mom had had enough and pulled her out of the school and placed her in another school where she is very happy now. I understand teachers can't see everything all the time, but maybe talk with the teacher and make her aware of what happened. Hopefully the teacher will be on the lookout for the pestering from the other kid.
Situation:
The teacher enters the classroom and see a child sitting on another child who is lying on the floor of the classroom, holding his hands.
The teacher takes the child off of him yelling / scolding him and for dessert adds a penalty.
What the teacher did not see that half an hour before it, that "poor" child would not stop pestering and annoying the kid on top and only when it expired nervous he did what he did.
my questions are:
1. Is the teacher Correct behavior with the child?
2. Is there really a child on top Correct behavior
3. What to do with a child's frustration at not only plagued him he still got punished?
Thank a lot
and sorry for my english
while I believe teachers are usually saddled with more responsibilities than they should have to take on, I also believe this is a part of their job-- keeping kids safe in the classroom, on the playground, etc.
when I was in elementary school, and when my kids were in elementary school, kids were not supervised. looking back, if I had to do it over again, I shouldn't have been so nice about it. IMHO, I think you should approach not only the teacher but the principal, explain the situation and demand the teacher be responsible for supervising his/her students. if they end up being a brick wall, go to the board of education.
1. No. The kid on the bottom should be punished for losing the fight. No wimpy kids in the classroom.
2. The kid on top should be rewarded and praised and encouraged to turn to violence anytime someone gets annoying and says anything that gets on his nerves. He needs to learn to react to words with violence. How else will he learn to react properly to his monther when he gets bigger and mom get annoying.
3. Buy some old dishes at garage sales. Create a booth in your basement made of canvas tarps. Make a rack to hold the old dishes. Allow your son to go down and smash the dishes with a ball, or a bat or whatever he wants whenever he gets frustrated (worked for us as kids, but we often beat each other bloody, so maybe it was not the best idea in hidnsight). You might want to get blow ups of a picture of the annoying kid, put the picture on some dishes and encourage your son to bash the annoying kid with a bat.
Invite the annoying kid over for a couple of supervised play dates with your son. Eventually, they will learn to get along. Option 2: Invite the annoying kid over and video your son beating him senseless and post it on Utube. It will go viral.
I've always taught my kids they have to face the consequences of their actions. Sometimes, that teaches you to avoid certain actions to avoid consequences. But sometimes, we have to stand behind our actions regardless of the consequences. Its not a bad thing, its a life lesson. The teacher doesn't have to like it, but support your child in his decision.
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