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Is it just me or does everyone feel like they hardly see their kids. I have a 16 YO son that plays 2 sports and My almost 19 YO has been on a few trips and is gone alot with BF and friends. They are gone all the time- it is so hard to plan any family time. I am feeling sad and guilty that it doesn't happen more often- Oldest is off to college in 2 weeks-I may try and take her to beach after High School starts.
They sure get busy! It's a good thing because they are becoming independent. It's the start of parents learning to adjust to the empty nest. A very hard transition for parents.
My parents had mandatory sunday dinner when we were teens. As young adults living on our own, we continued to return home for sunday dinner, not out of obligation but because we enjoyed the tradition and it helped us remain connected. Even well into our 20s, it felt like home. We'd all converge upon the house in the early to mid afternoon and stay well into the late evening. I even remember sometimes taking a nap on the sofa like I did when I was a teen. I just loved sundays at my parent's house. It's one of things I've missed most since they died.
I guess this is a long way of saying that creating a simple tradition is a great way to stay connected with our children as they get older.
I agree-being busy is a good thing, not spending as much time with parents is also a good thing. Sure, planning family time is nice but now is the time for them to spread their wings and become independent. Get your family time in shorter bursts, dinner on Sunday or a shopping trip to the mall, etc.
Yes-I feel this way but I figure it is the natural outgrowth of raising kids to become independent people. My oldest (17) is heading into his senior year. It is football season and he starts two a day practices today! He also on the coaching staff of the 135 pound football team. The kids he coaches are 13 years old and most of them are in 8th grade. He is busy doing things he likes.
My middle (15) is going to be a sophomore. He was gone for over a month this summer. 3 weeks at music camp and a few weeks with my MIL in NY. He has been working in my husband's office three days a week and he starts band camp next week! When he's not busy he wants to see his girlfriend or rehearse with his band.
My youngest (12) is not quite as busy as his brothers but he keeps busy also. He has been coaching little kids (5-8 years old) at a lacrosse camp this summer. He LOVES that. It makes him feel so grown up and confident! He is also playing football. He rests between lacrosse camp and football practice by playing video games and reading at home.
All in all it is good when older kids are busy as long as they are busy doing things they like. We usually spend Sundays at home resting and doing family things. Despite our busy schedule we do eat dinner together as a family most nights. Even when they have already eaten something they will usually sit at the table with us and chat at dinnertime.
During the NFL season we watch the games together. We also play in a family fantasy football league (a Yahoo! free league with no money involved). Our extended family plays in the league and the cousins are very competitive with each other in this league. We make our family time happen but we don't "force" it. The kids enjoy our family time.
We usually spend Sundays at home resting and doing family things. Despite our busy schedule we do eat dinner together as a family most nights. Even when they have already eaten something they will usually sit at the table with us and chat at dinnertime.
That's the way it was when I was growing up. We always had dinner as a family. It was required we schedule our lives around dinner. It wasn't hard to do. I didn't feel like an oppressed teen. It was truly one of the only requirements my parents had. Sunday dinners are more special because it's more of a day-long social event than simply sitting down for a normal dinner.
I did the same with my children. We always ate dinner as a family every night. The only difference is I changed dinner time to accomodate their scheules, whereas, my mother had a set time for dinner and our schedules had to accomodate that. But overall, my mother and I accomplished the same goal of haivng nightly family dinners.
I did the same with my children. We always ate dinner as a family every night. The only difference is I changed dinner time to accomodate their scheules, whereas, my mother had a set time for dinner and our schedules had to accomodate that. But overall, my mother and I accomplished the same goal of haivng nightly family dinners.
I wouldn't say we ALWAYS eat dinner together as a family but we do try. As the boys get older they have dates on the weekends, there are sometimes activities that finish too late for us to all eat together, etc....However, we really try to eat together most of the time.
Over the next two weeks we will not be eating together much. HS kids are so busy during the two weeks before school starts. Once school starts it is easier to eat together 4-5 nights a week.
I wouldn't say we ALWAYS eat dinner together as a family but we do try. As the boys get older they have dates on the weekends, there are sometimes activities that finish too late for us to all eat together, etc....However, we really try to eat together most of the time.
I wasn't saying you did it like my mom. You did it more like me. My mother didn't care if we had dates or whatever. We had to be home for dinner. If I was out with friends, I had to come home and eat and then I could go out again. I often brought my friends home with me. If I had a date, I knew darn well to schedule my date to start after dinner. Of course, as I got older, it was less of a requirement. But at 16, I had to be home for dinner.
Sports and activities are scheduled differently today. Back when I was growing up, all sports and activities were done immediately after school. We all just stayed after school and took the activities bus home at 5pm when practice or games were over. Today, our children's practices and games are scheduled sometimes to start at 7pm. When my son wrestled in elementary school, we weren't getting home until near midnight. It's a shame the way activities are scheduled today.
Is it just me or does everyone feel like they hardly see their kids. I have a 16 YO son that plays 2 sports and My almost 19 YO has been on a few trips and is gone alot with BF and friends. They are gone all the time- it is so hard to plan any family time. I am feeling sad and guilty that it doesn't happen more often- Oldest is off to college in 2 weeks-I may try and take her to beach after High School starts.
My brother is 17 and has a job, a girlfriend and spends the rest of the time at the skate park or takes the car out and is gone for hours.
He's never home.
I never spend time at home. I always sleep at TG's, come home in the AM and then leave again around 10 or 11 or earlier and then I am gone all day, back with TG after he gets off work and then do something with him and then back at his place for the night.
Yep, after age 12, it seems like they are gone more and more. I made Sunday Dinner the absolute, you must show...and they did...something about a big roast, with all the fixings...that made my kids stop dead in their tracks, and come home.
My daughter is going to college this year, we went on a special trip, just us...and had a great time.
My sons are all in their 20's, with jobs, school, travel...they plan on coming home for a week in January, we are making MLK day our new "Christmas" because flights are cheaper, and the kids want to work on the holiday to make the extra cash...which of course, they will spend on a gift for their Mom...
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