Would you let your 16 year old have an alcoholic sleepover? (children, 14 years old)
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If you follow the law just because it's the law without any thought as to why we have laws or what purpose they are supposed to serve in a free and civil society... then yes you are. I intend to raise my kids according to my values, not the values the state tells me I should.
I don't need a law to tell me that it's stupid to serve alcohol to a minor when they could then go get in their car ~kill themselves, or another innocent party. I couldn't live with myself if something like that happened because I wanted to be the party house. And, in my line of work, I've seen that particular scenario play out numerous times.
Some things are just right and wrong. Serving alcohol to someone else's child is just wrong IMO.
I hope your values include not peeing in the sand at Oak Street Beach.
Even if they did, don't think tens of thousands of dogs haven't already beat me to it, including probably a dozen or so in the last 12 hours.
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Originally Posted by strawflower
I see. I believe that laws ARE laws and are meant to be followed, and teach my children the same. They're there for a reason, and any decent person should not have a hard time following them.
Equating "decent" with "law-abiding" without any regard for whether the law is right or just are not values fit for a free society. Conditioning people into obedience to the state is not "decent." It's unfortunate that you are raising your children to embrace this misapprehension but thankfully plenty are not.
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Originally Posted by Ringo1
I don't need a law to tell me that it's stupid to serve alcohol to a minor when they could then go get in their car ~kill themselves, or another innocent party. I couldn't live with myself if something like that happened because I wanted to be the party house. And, in my line of work, I've seen that particular scenario play out numerous times.
Some things are just right and wrong. Serving alcohol to someone else's child is just wrong IMO.
You really seem to want to belabor this point with me even though I've clearly indicated that we are in agreement on it. Why is that?
Say you have a 16 year old daughter. She claims that all of her friends drink alcohol at least occasionally and their parents are fine with it. They argue that allowing their children to have drinking parties but being there is the best route, because they are going to end up drinking anyway, and supervision is always better than non-supervision. Then she asks you to let her and her six female friends have a sleepover at your house, which will involve alcohol. Do you let her have the sleepover?
No. Even though I would probably have no problem with any of my potential kids drinking something with dinner even younger then 16, I did when I was that age, I am not the parent of the six other friends and would not furnish them with booze.
Thinking back to when I was only 15, I remember my best friend's Mom always bought us Vodka for our parties. She didn't give a rats a$$ what we were doing. Sure, I thought she was cool then, but that didn't last. I quickly realized how out of control we all were and what a pi$$ poor excuse of a "mother" that woman was. (My parents worked 2 jobs and were never home anyway). I can't believe I got out of my teens alive. Knowing what I know now, makes me a great Mom compared to that idiot who bought us booze. No, I will never allow my kid to drink until he's 21 if he so chooses.
I've done some pretty dumb things back in the day. I don't need the law to tell me how to raise my kid. All I need is to learn from my own stupidity and experiences. My sister let her kids drink wine and what ever else I don't know about, and now her oldest isn't even 21 yet and he drinks all the time.
Equating "decent" with "law-abiding" without any regard for whether the law is right or just are not values fit for a free society. Conditioning people into obedience to the state is not "decent." It's unfortunate that you are raising your children to embrace this misapprehension but thankfully plenty are not.
I see you've found the parenting forum, Drover!
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Originally Posted by strawflower
So because I'm a law-abiding citizen, I'm also a "pliant sheep who can't think for themselves"?!?! Interesting..
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower
I see. I believe that laws ARE laws and are meant to be followed, and teach my children the same.
I raised my children to question authority. Remember segregation laws? Thank God someone questioned those laws!
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower
They're there for a reason, and any decent person should not have a hard time following them.
Do you feel you have the right to wear whatever shoes you want? Heels greater than three inches are illegal on the common in Boston.
How do you feel about humming a tune while walking down the street? It's illegal in Cicero, Illinois.
Ever have oral sex with your husband? You'd be breaking the law if you did it in Arkansas.
If you're just receiving oral sex, you're breaking the law in Minnesota. So would be having sex in any position other than missionary.
Ever wear a red dress? It's illegal on Colorado sidewalks after 7pm.
Like putting ice cream on cherry pie? You risk being arrested in Kansas if you do!
No. Even though I would probably have no problem with any of my potential kids drinkingsomething with dinner even younger then 16 , I did when I was that age, I am not the parent of the six other friends and would not furnish them with booze.
children 16 and under do not need "something" other than soda or water to drink with dinner, they are not adults.
children 16 and under do not need "something" other than soda or water to drink with dinner, they are not adults.
While I mostly agree that children do not need anything other than water or soda (or milk) to drink, it is customary in some cultures to include children in toasts or rituals that may involve a *small* alcoholic drink. Sometimes grape juice is used instead of wine for the youngest children, but for most a sip of wine is considered reasonable.
children 16 and under do not need "something" other than soda or water to drink with dinner, they are not adults.
I come from an Italian family and that is the way I was raised. Everyone at the adults table had a small glass of wine with dinner when it was being served.
I have not read every single page of comments. It's difficult to read when my head is shaking NO NO NO - but not at what you all think. While I agree with all the NO people, what I can't understand is why the parent didn't call up the parents where his daughter attended a sleepover and ask if what his daughter said is true. If the response was yes, there'd be hell to pay. I'd be spitting bullets. And my child would no longer be able to attend any sleepovers with those children.
Then I'd be kicking myself in the pants for not knowing this was going on. What parent doesn't insist on knowing/having SOME contact with the parents where his child is staying. Good grief! Do you know if the parents were even home when these "girl" parties were occuring? Do you know if there was a concommitant "boys" party in the room next door?
This whole scenario is missing lots of information. I am so riled up. It's not the other parents alone who - assuming the daughter is being truthful - need to take a close look at their lack of parenting. 16 is NOT adult. 16 does not qualify for no supervision. 16 is still a parent's responsibility.
There is a vast, vast difference between allowing your own child to have a bit of wine at a family dinner (which is legal in many states btw) and providing alcohol to someone else's children and in quantities large enough to become intoxicated (hence the term the OP used "alcoholic sleepover" - so no one would be driving or going home after the "party"). No brainer.
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My sister let her kids drink wine and what ever else I don't know about, and now her oldest isn't even 21 yet and he drinks all the time.
