checking up on your teenager? (weight, smart, son, husband)
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But if an 18/19 year old ISN'T able to move out for whatever reason, of course lines and boundaries need to be drawn, don't you agree?
I mean, its not exactly like you can take something you don't pay for and go through it, for example a cell phone that is paid for by the 18+ child.
When you rent a place from a landlord, he has the right to enter your dwelling under the terms of the lease. He may not have the right to look through your computer, but he certainly has the opportunity to try. If you don't like it, you save your money until you can afford a down payment on a mortgage for your own home.
Additionally, a leaseholder or owner is legally responsible for the contents of the home and the actions of its occupants. That liability confers certain rights upon the responsible person to verify the goings-on in the dwelling. Again, if you don't like it, live alone in your own home.
If you can't afford it, having had the benefit of 18 years of care paid for by others during which you were to acquire knowledge and skills that would support you in the manner you prefer, you suck it up and save every penny you can in order to hasten the day when you will be responsible for you and only yourself. Until then, you don't have the luxury of having absolute privacy in the living space that others are providing for you. Even if you are paying room and board at your parents' home, it is not likely truly a reflection of your fair share as an adult for all the expenses incurred with the ownership and maintenance of the home--taxes, repairs, insurance, upkeep, etc., not just utilities, rent, and food.
If I am legally responsible for the actions of any person whom I am supporting, then I reserve the right to go through anything on my property. Period.
When you rent a place from a landlord, he has the right to enter your dwelling under the terms of the lease. He may not have the right to look through your computer, but he certainly has the opportunity to try. If you don't like it, you save your money until you can afford a down payment on a mortgage for your own home.
Additionally, a leaseholder or owner is legally responsible for the contents of the home and the actions of its occupants. That liability confers certain rights upon the responsible person to verify the goings-on in the dwelling. Again, if you don't like it, live alone in your own home.
If you can't afford it, having had the benefit of 18 years of care paid for by others during which you were to acquire knowledge and skills that would support you in the manner you prefer, you suck it up and save every penny you can in order to hasten the day when you will be responsible for you and only yourself. Until then, you don't have the luxury of having absolute privacy in the living space that others are providing for you. Even if you are paying room and board at your parents' home, it is not likely truly a reflection of your fair share as an adult for all the expenses incurred with the ownership and maintenance of the home--taxes, repairs, insurance, upkeep, etc., not just utilities, rent, and food.
If I am legally responsible for the actions of any person whom I am supporting, then I reserve the right to go through anything on my property. Period.
Very well thought out post. I was also going to say that if an 18/19 year old is still living at home or driving mom and dad's car, then the parents do have the right to search. They are responsible for what happens in their house. For all they know, you are selling (or making) drugs out of your bedroom. You may have texts to back up their suspicion. They have the right to know if they are in danger of losing their house after the police raid.
I am not saying that I am going to randomly search my daughter's stuff. I probably will if I feel the need to. I am just saying that the homeowner has the right to search any of their property at any time.
And the lines and boundaries are drawn by the parent. It's called "Having All The Power" because it's their house.
txt: You and I and everybody on this forum knows you aren't posting about some random 18/19 year old. I just put new batteries in my Whine-O-Meter and it's going off.
Maybe this is a good place to add I lived at home while I went to college. I knew my parents made the rules. Had I broken them my mother would not have snooped through my things. She would have held the front door open and pointed me toward the Motel 6.
Its not about me.
My mom doesn't search my stuff anymore.
She knows it wouldn't sit well with me, so she doesn't.
I'll add, I pay my own cell phone bill and my phone is password protected and I change the password quite frequently, even if she had my phone, she wouldn't be able to get into it and with BlackBerrys, 10 failed attempts wipes the phone clean.
So its not an issue for me.
Password protected laptop too.
Ok then. Good to know. I was going by your track record.
But I don't care who you're talking about. If you, me or some random 18-year old in Bow Mar lives at home, they are subject to their parents' rules. And that includes warrantless-search and seizure by mean ol' Mom and Dad.
Any person who is 18 (or 21 or 37) who thinks they should be allowed to live exactly how they want to with no interference from Mom (and/or Dad as the case may be) needs to realise that the way to do that is to get a job and move out on their own.
End of debate of Mom bugging the child. Oh, and don't give her a key to the new place.
Easy peasy.
I would hope by those ages adult children would realize that their parents don't understand or respect the concept of privacy/mutual respect. In those cases they should definitely move out; their parents will never get that the parental role doesn't grant special courtesy when it comes to being nosey & overbearing.
When you rent a place from a landlord, he has the right to enter your dwelling under the terms of the lease. He may not have the right to look through your computer, but he certainly has the opportunity to try. If you don't like it, you save your money until you can afford a down payment on a mortgage for your own home.
Additionally, a leaseholder or owner is legally responsible for the contents of the home and the actions of its occupants. That liability confers certain rights upon the responsible person to verify the goings-on in the dwelling. Again, if you don't like it, live alone in your own home.
If you can't afford it, having had the benefit of 18 years of care paid for by others during which you were to acquire knowledge and skills that would support you in the manner you prefer, you suck it up and save every penny you can in order to hasten the day when you will be responsible for you and only yourself. Until then, you don't have the luxury of having absolute privacy in the living space that others are providing for you. Even if you are paying room and board at your parents' home, it is not likely truly a reflection of your fair share as an adult for all the expenses incurred with the ownership and maintenance of the home--taxes, repairs, insurance, upkeep, etc., not just utilities, rent, and food.
If I am legally responsible for the actions of any person whom I am supporting, then I reserve the right to go through anything on my property. Period.
Actually in most (if not all) states, landlords are required by law to give advanced notice of entering the property for GOOD CAUSE. Not just because they feel like it.
Additionally, I don't plan on treating my children or other loved ones like tenants in my home so most of your point is moot.
Ok then. Good to know. I was going by your track record.
But I don't care who you're talking about. If you, me or some random 18-year old in Bow Mar lives at home, they are subject to their parents' rules. And that includes warrantless-search and seizure by mean ol' Mom and Dad.
I was asking about stuff that the kid PAID/PAYS for though, like their own cell phone, or if they pay for their own internet to the house and paid for their own laptop....would a parent still be to search that too?
Ok then. Good to know. I was going by your track record.
But I don't care who you're talking about. If you, me or some random 18-year old in Bow Mar lives at home, they are subject to their parents' rules. And that includes warrantless-search and seizure by mean ol' Mom and Dad.
A parent certainly has the right to set rules for an adult child living at home but those rules should be rules appropriate to an adult, not rules appropriate for a 10 year old. I find it offensive that a parent would search the private belongings of an ADULT child. IMO there are very few acceptable reasons for rifling through another adult's private belongings regardless of whether you are allowing them to live in your house.
Yeah but what if they ARE 18?
What if they pay for their own stuff? Like internet, laptop, cell phone etc, do you STILL get to search it?
If it's in my house I still could but would be less likely to do so - unless there was a reason for me to do so.
If I suspected illegal activities, maybe the adult child doesn't have a job but keeps showing up with new computers, new televisions, cars, money - then of course I'm going to make sure my home, my property isn't being used for illegal activities.
Of course if the child is 18 and out of high school and still living in my house, it's because I already think the kid is okay enough for me to still want to live with so most likely I wouldn't search. Yes I think most parents treat a 19 year old different from a 14 year old.
But still if the kid is still living under my roof and seemed to be having some serious sort of problem - I would check on things.
Im surprised these kids getting snooped on dont lock their parents out of more things...
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