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One of my good friends has a son who lives at home at age 29. He's a college graduate, works, has his own business, and lives in his Mom's basement. Mom and step dad think this is perfectly normal. They say he's a ''mama's boy'' like that's a good thing. Other friends and relatives call him that too. He is not allowed to have girls come to the house/spend the night. His parents say that having a girlfriend is not a priority for him and he likes living at home because he's always loved his little sister, age 13, and wants to be able to see her everyday.
Am I wrong in thinking that being a ''mama's boy'' is not a good thing? Am I wrong in thinking that they should be encouraging a 29 year old man to live on his own, find a girl, and be independent?
Is he paying the parents or doing any chores? I doubt this is about wanting to see his sister everyday because at age 13, she is probably more interested in her friends, facebook and her hobbies. He might be "special" in the sense that some kids are allowed to stay at home as long as they are doing something productive. I have a grown brother that still lives at home but he is a college student working towards his master's degree. He wanted to move out but for whatever reason, that didn't work out.
Living at home, on his own volition, wouldn't be so bad - but the fact that he is forbidden by his parents to have women visit is definitely weird. If it's not a "priority", why is the rule needed?
Well, it wouldn't be my choice (either as a child or as a parent) but his parents don't seem to mind, and as he is a college graduate, working and has a business, he's evidently in a position to make other arrangements if he chooses to, I don't see where it's anyone's business.
One of my good friends has a son who lives at home at age 29. He's a college graduate, works, has his own business, and lives in his Mom's basement. Mom and step dad think this is perfectly normal. They say he's a ''mama's boy'' like that's a good thing. Other friends and relatives call him that too. He is not allowed to have girls come to the house/spend the night. His parents say that having a girlfriend is not a priority for him and he likes living at home because he's always loved his little sister, age 13, and wants to be able to see her everyday.
Am I wrong in thinking that being a ''mama's boy'' is not a good thing? Am I wrong in thinking that they should be encouraging a 29 year old man to live on his own, find a girl, and be independent?
Living with parents - within the range of normal. It can also be very economical and eco-friendly, after all .
Not being interested in bringing a girl at home - outside the range of normal.
If you live in your parents' basement at 29, that is fine - but you should be interested in bringing a girl into the parents' basement then.
Oh...and if the parents forbid this, then THEY are not normal and the man should definitely want solve that problem one way or another: either by moving on his own or by making it clear to the parents that at 29, he will have a girl in the basement.
Well, it wouldn't be my choice, but to each their own. It sounds like as a college graduate with a job, he likely has the means to move out if he wanted to, but for whatever reason, he isn't choosing to. I think it's not uncommon for older children to move back in certain cases... my aunt did it for a few years after her husband passed away many years ago. She had nowhere else to go. It's becoming more common in this economy since recent grads can't afford housing if they can't find work. Of course, that isn't the case here, but I wouldn't say it's really that outlandish either.
As for the "no girls stay over" rule, I'm of two minds. On the one hand, no I don't think that's normal for a 29 year old to have that rule in place. But on the other, I think the situation is what's lending itself to that issue. If he chose to move out, he could certainly do as he pleased, and they couldn't tell him what to do. If they've got a 13 year old girl at home, I can see why they'd be concerned about the precedent it sets if the brother has women sleeping over. And again, it's not as if the son is handcuffed to the situation. He could choose to leave. So long as he chooses to stay at home, he's kind of stuck playing by their rules.
I forgot to ask, is he gay? Maybe that is why he is not interested in girls coming over. Also, what city does his parents live in? Is it cheaper and safer to stay at their house to get a decent apartment somewhere safe in the city? Too many unknowns..
Is he paying the parents or doing any chores? I doubt this is about wanting to see his sister everyday because at age 13, she is probably more interested in her friends, facebook and her hobbies. He might be "special" in the sense that some kids are allowed to stay at home as long as they are doing something productive. I have a grown brother that still lives at home but he is a college student working towards his master's degree. He wanted to move out but for whatever reason, that didn't work out.
No, he doesn't pay rent but does help with yard work and whatever else his mother tells him to do. Yes, his sister has her own friends and activities but he does help her with some homework.
And yes, the parents do like having him live there. I understand that, but I would be concerned that HE WANTS to live there. At a certain age, doesn't everyone want to live on their own? Is your brother 29 or older? Are your parents concerned that he doesn't want to live independently?
Strangely, this boy also moved out, back in his early 20's. It didn't work out and he never left home again. He had a gf who didn't work out at about the same time and he has had a gf since then either. Or maybe he has and just doesn't tell his parents? I hope so.
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