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My friend just told me how her husband never wants to go out with the family (wife and two small children) to things like carnivals, birthday parties, etc. He complains the whole time and would rather stay home and take a nap. She says this is normal.
I don't think so. It seems to me that there are plenty of husbands out there who would love to spend time with their wife and kids, going to the park, soccer game, Disney, or whatever. It just doesn't seem normal for the wife to take the kids around by herself on the weekend.
What do you guys think? I'm talking about families where both parents work, so it's not like the wife wants to get out of the house and the husband just wants to kick back after a long week.
I would like to think that most men want to spend time with their family on the weekend, but am I wrong? I know kiddie birthday parties might not be most men's idea of a good time, but I'm talking about staying home for MOST family activities, while she takes the kids out and meets up with her sister and her kids (her husband is also not there!)
I don't think it's "normal" behavior for a man that is happy within his marriage and family. I think most men do want to partake in at least some of these activities. I'm a mom, and for me of course, it's second nature to do this stuff. But even my ex did the Chuck-E-Cheese parties and the park...and most CERTAINLY the soccer games and other sports. Frankly, a father that didn't want to go to his sons games is rather unusual I think, and sad as well.
I don't think it's "normal" behavior for a man that is happy within his marriage and family. I think most men do want to partake in at least some of these activities. I'm a mom, and for me of course, it's second nature to do this stuff. But even my ex did the Chuck-E-Cheese parties and the park...and most CERTAINLY the soccer games and other sports. Frankly, a father that didn't want to go to his sons games is rather unusual I think, and sad as well.
Mature men like to be at HOME relaxing on the weekend. Either fixing something, drinking something, doing the yard, watching the game, lighting up the bbq, hanging out with his buddy in the garage, building something, etc. They don't want to be around other peoples screaming kids, parties, women talk, etc. They do it once in awhile so the wife doesn't start how he doesn't spend time with her and the kids! That was my house anyway lol
I think that some men are very introverted and prefer to stay in and not socialize. If my husband whined and complained every time we are out at parties or events, I would leave him home myself! I am assuming that the reason your friend's husband acts this way is not because he doesn't enjoy spending time with his family, but because he doesn't enjoy social interactions with other people. If this works for them, it works for them.
My friend just told me how her husband never wants to go out with the family (wife and two small children) to things like carnivals, birthday parties, etc. He complains the whole time and would rather stay home and take a nap. She says this is normal.
I don't think so. It seems to me that there are plenty of husbands out there who would love to spend time with their wife and kids, going to the park, soccer game, Disney, or whatever. It just doesn't seem normal for the wife to take the kids around by herself on the weekend.
What do you guys think? I'm talking about families where both parents work, so it's not like the wife wants to get out of the house and the husband just wants to kick back after a long week.
I would like to think that most men want to spend time with their family on the weekend, but am I wrong? I know kiddie birthday parties might not be most men's idea of a good time, but I'm talking about staying home for MOST family activities, while she takes the kids out and meets up with her sister and her kids (her husband is also not there!)
This doesn't seem like a normal situation, especially if all he's doing is napping.
1. It isn't fair on her since she has to deal with the kids. I mean, they're just children, but I'm sure they drive her up a wall and some help from the husband would go a long way.
2. Family bonding time is extremely important for a family to get closer. If both husband and wife work, both of them can't commit a ton of time during the week for there children. Now, they will have to dedicate there nights to them, but during the morning and day, the children won't see them. Weekends with the family, a family night, and planned family vacations are extremely important for the kids to see both parents more, and to grow their bonds with each other.
Yes, I think her husband is wrong, and that's my opinion.
I don't think the husband is introverted or afraid of crowds. In fact, he seems the opposite to me. He works as a chef, so he has long/ odd hours and is on his feet a lot I guess. However, she works hard too and commutes 2 hours a day.
Still, the wife says "He doesn't go and I don't want him to because all he does is complain the entire time."
That doesn't sound very healthy to me. I can understand skipping the crazy kiddie birthday (their kids are both under 4) but what about a carnival or an outing to the local park/ hike, etc?
It seems to me that most men would want to be involved with their kids. I mean, what did you have them for? I do remember that my father was never there for our events. Soccer games, my ballet receitals - I don't remember him ever being there. He was always off with the guys. But back then, I don't remember it being a big deal b/c my mother picked up the slack very, very well. Now he is more interested in us for sure (he's 66), so you can never tell what's in the mind of a man!
I do that from time to time. Little kid birthday is beyond boring especially if I don't know any other parents. Most of the time, my kid is dropped off and picked up later. I'm also not in the picture when it comes to vacation with the in-laws; I'd rather be strangled. My wife and kid are going to spend a week in some state park in which my in-laws used to take their children for vacation. I get to stay home, work on the cars, and go racing.
Are you OK with being away from them for an entire week? (mostly the kids)
My husband would never, ever want to be away from the kids like that. Maybe your kids are older.
I'm starting to see that what my friend told me today has a lot of truth: the key to a good marriage is time apart!
Frankly, a father that didn't want to go to his sons games is rather unusual I think, and sad as well.
I think this comment is funny. My hubby and I always went to watch our children play sports. But we did it out of obligation. We hated it. I'd rather have my teeth pulled than sit on benches with a bunch of other parents and watch sports. I hate other parents. I hate sports. Of course, our children had no idea we felt that way because we had the good sense to go with happy hearts.
Hubby and I would sometimes quietly commiserate. OMG and boy scout pinewood derby day was just torture. It was ALL DAY LONG. I can't even imagine what it would be like for Cheerleading families who have to travel to out of state competitions. Must be dreadful. (I have a friend who actually offered to give her daughter 5k for a graduation gift if she didn't go into cheerleading because she was tired after doing it after three older daughters were cheerleaders.) I do realize that many parents are truly thrilled to watch their children do anything. I also know that many parents feel the same as we do.
What I think is funny is your thinking it's unusual for a parent to not want to go. I don't think that's unusal at all. But I'll agree that it's sad if parents refuse to go when they have free time available (some can't go because they are working). Since today's parents go to watch their children, it will definitely make a child feel badly if parents didn't go.
Last edited by Hopes; 04-15-2011 at 07:29 PM..
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