Visitation and sleeping arrangements (daughters, grandpa, father, kids)
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This was brought up somewhere else, the part about sleeping on the floor. I didn't understand the outrage there either. What if the child doesn't want to sleep on the couch in the living room. Maybe the bedrooms are all on the top floor and they would be sleeping down on the couch by themselves in a strange house? I say strange house because it is not home, no matter how familiar they are with it. My kids spend a ton of time at their grandparents house and they wouldn't sleep on the couch they would rather sleep on the floor in the bedroom if that was their only option. Kids tend to think that kind of stuff is cool.
If that is your only reason for not wanting them over there than I think you are just looking for excuses to be difficult. That can come back to bite you later on.
An 8 year old sleeping with the grandparents? A 5 year old sleeping on the floor? It does not sound to me like these people are properly providing for these girls on their "visit". I would talk with the school counselor and they generally have a school psychologist available and I would explain the situation and see what they think. To me, it's kinky having the 8 year old in the bed and I wonder how many years this arrangement will go on. You know, the possibilities of what could be going on here are frightening. Doesn't anyone see the news these days?
There grandparents only take the 2 girls and my oldest girl sleeps in same bed as them and my 5 yr old sleeps on the floor.. I have talked to my x many times on this subject and have told him I do not want my children to be over there anymore. What should I do?
One thing about choosing divorce when you have children is that you absolutely can't control the choices your ex makes when the kids are with him. If it was truly harmful, then you'd have options, but sleeping with the grands or on the floor isn't neglect. What you CAN control is how you speak about their father, and their experiences while they're in your care.
That was one of the hardest lessons I had when I chose not to marry my oldest son's father; my son's dad was making choices (like smoking in the house with all the windows & doors closed) that I absolutely hated. But guess what? I had no right to dictate choices he made. I also learned to stop making suggestions, because he would sometimes do the opposite, out of some desire to be spiteful and immature.
Let your ex's relationship with your kids GO, you can't control it, and it will only bring strife if you insist on trying to control things. Make their time with you as good as it can be; be loving and kind and provide a wonderful home for them, so they have a strong base to work from. That's what you CAN control.
I have four children ages 8,6,5, and 4. My children go and visit there father everyother weekend and almost everytime he has them my 2 girls 8, and 5 go to there grandparents house. There grandparents only take the 2 girls and my oldest girl sleeps in same bed as them and my 5 yr old sleeps on the floor.. I have talked to my x many times on this subject and have told him I do not want my children to be over there anymore. What should I do?
If the father only has the children every other weekend, then why isn't he spending that time with them but shipping them off to the grandparent's house, is what I wonder? Is visitation with him, or whomever he feels like sending the kids to so he can do what he wants?
An 8 year old sleeping with the grandparents? A 5 year old sleeping on the floor? It does not sound to me like these people are properly providing for these girls on their "visit". I would talk with the school counselor and they generally have a school psychologist available and I would explain the situation and see what they think. To me, it's kinky having the 8 year old in the bed and I wonder how many years this arrangement will go on. You know, the possibilities of what could be going on here are frightening. Doesn't anyone see the news these days?
Oh come on. I remember sleeping with my grandparents and on the floor, couch and roll away bed. My grandson slept with me until a few years ago, about age 11-12. So now days not having your own bed and room while visiting calls for talking with a psychologist! Thats just crazy.
I have four children ages 8,6,5, and 4. My children go and visit there father everyother weekend and almost everytime he has them my 2 girls 8, and 5 go to there grandparents house. There grandparents only take the 2 girls and my oldest girl sleeps in same bed as them and my 5 yr old sleeps on the floor.. I have talked to my x many times on this subject and have told him I do not want my children to be over there anymore. What should I do?
Dont do anything. Nothing illegal is going on. You have no more business dictating what his kids do while in his care as he has dictating to you who your kids spend the night with or their activities while they are in your care.
Dont do anything. Nothing illegal is going on. You have no more business dictating what his kids do while in his care as he has dictating to you who your kids spend the night with or their activities while they are in your care.
Yup!!! These girls aren't being hurt, the 'abuse' allegations came from the board, not from anything in the OP.
The father's choice to let his girls go is a poor one for him because he is giving up precious time with his girls, but it is a bonus for the g-parents.... they get to share that precious time with their granddaughters.
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