Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am a male in his late thirty's going through a divorce, I just got custody of my children and mom has to pay child support......Okay so is it normal for me to feel bad about this.....i mean I tried to hold on to my marriage and she wanted out.. I'm curious, I want to get some opinions.....
almost sounds like you're bragging and being sarcastic. i'm a male who got custody and i know it's hard if they fight you. it was the toughest thing i've ever been through and i've been through some stuff. no one was gonna take my daughter from me.
I don`t understand why you are feeling bad? About what? Is it because the court has ordered her to pay and help raise her kids?
I don`t see why you would feel bad about that. Cost of living to raise kids is absolutely ridiculous nowdays. Food, clothing, upkeep, school fees, entertainment, etc..
Logic tells me that if you have custody, then she needs to be paying child support.
If she picks up on you feeling guilty, then you may really get stomped on!
Nope, she's not doing them a favor, it's her responsibility to send that paycheck in time every month from here on for 18 years or more or go to jail...not sure if the law would be as harsh for the few women who get to pay child support and send them to jail if they don't pay. Oh well.
You are right, I meant do them a favor by not having someone around who dont want to be in the marriage, Both parents have a responsibillity to support their children.
I feel bad because it had to come to this.. I wanted things to be different I guess... I wanted to be able to work together and avoid having the court ordered payment, I am having to do the damage control with the children and believe me I do not bash her, it's bad enough that they have to deal with her leaving and behaving the way she has been behaving. She was a great mother, but her priorities are elsewhere now. I got custody because I am a good father and I know that my children need stability and structure. They are and always have been my priority, and yes they are expensive to care for, I am in no way bragging, not at all. I do feel bad for her and that has always been my problem, I worry for her and it hurts to know that she is going to be struggling and that is what I feel bad about. But on the flip side I stop and realize that she hasn't worried about us at all. She hasn't asked if they need anything or if they have lunch money, heck even to hang out with them. So that is why I was feeling bad....I'm not bragging at all, I am proud that I that custody was given to me.
I feel bad because it had to come to this.. I wanted things to be different I guess... I wanted to be able to work together and avoid having the court ordered payment, I am having to do the damage control with the children and believe me I do not bash her, it's bad enough that they have to deal with her leaving and behaving the way she has been behaving. She was a great mother, but her priorities are elsewhere now. I got custody because I am a good father and I know that my children need stability and structure. They are and always have been my priority, and yes they are expensive to care for, I am in no way bragging, not at all. I do feel bad for her and that has always been my problem, I worry for her and it hurts to know that she is going to be struggling and that is what I feel bad about. But on the flip side I stop and realize that she hasn't worried about us at all. She hasn't asked if they need anything or if they have lunch money, heck even to hang out with them. So that is why I was feeling bad....I'm not bragging at all, I am proud that I that custody was given to me.
Ok Mr.Hoper
She was a great mother, so all of a sudden just because she no longer wanted to be with you, she forgot the priorities of her children?
Lots of people want a divorce, they dont want to stop being responsible for their kids.
Who cares if she is struggling, that is what she chose.
If you sympanthy lies anywhere its with the kids not her.
The best thing you can do for you and your kids is to have the courts involved, never ever make an agreement without court order, trust me it'll be a lifesaver if ever need be. She is the one who wanted her life like this now let her deal with it and stop feeling guilty, she isn't worth it.
I like the others don't know what you feel bad about. I can only assume because your marriage didn't work out and your children aren't living with both parents. It happens and there's nothing you can do about it. So stop the pity party and live for your kids. Don't make a big deal that their mother is not there for them. Let them talk their feelings if they feel sad, mad or whatever about their mother. Don't talk smack about their mother in front of them. As far as dating, take at least 6 months to a year and devout to your children before you start dating again. All three of you need to get over your hurt feelings on what your wife did. Be there for each other. Good luck!
I think I know what he feels bad about. A broken family is not something to cheer about. Now the kids have a parent outside the home.
The only thing now is to make it best for the kids. To consider how it is for them that mom is no longer there in the home with them.
I feel bad because it had to come to this.. I wanted things to be different I guess... I wanted to be able to work together and avoid having the court ordered payment, I am having to do the damage control with the children and believe me I do not bash her, it's bad enough that they have to deal with her leaving and behaving the way she has been behaving. She was a great mother, but her priorities are elsewhere now. I got custody because I am a good father and I know that my children need stability and structure. They are and always have been my priority, and yes they are expensive to care for, I am in no way bragging, not at all. I do feel bad for her and that has always been my problem, I worry for her and it hurts to know that she is going to be struggling and that is what I feel bad about. But on the flip side I stop and realize that she hasn't worried about us at all. She hasn't asked if they need anything or if they have lunch money, heck even to hang out with them. So that is why I was feeling bad....I'm not bragging at all, I am proud that I that custody was given to me.
I know a guy whose first marriage with two kids fell apart -- early into the marriage. He won custody, remarried and he and his second wife raised the kids. His ex-wife was and still is a flake. She's been married and divorced many times, many affairs, numerous relocations to follow some new infatuation. All her struggles were her own doing and she had many.
She was never in a position to actually raise the kids but she was free to come pick them up any time as long as they were back home in time for homework, and in bed on school nights. She could call and talk with them any time, the kids knew that she loved them but they also know what her flaws are.
I think you have to be honest with the kids. The other parent loves them but cannot provide a stable home for them. Kids don't always see things on their own, it's okay to explain why things are the way they are. People sometimes have problems, they create problems for themselves, they couldn't be happy - they aren't bad, they just are what they are.
I am a male in his late thirty's going through a divorce, I just got custody of my children and mom has to pay child support......Okay so is it normal for me to feel bad about this.....i mean I tried to hold on to my marriage and she wanted out.. I'm curious, I want to get some opinions.....
You tried to hold onto your marriage, so you shouldn't feel guilty that the courts have awarded you with your childrens custody..You are obviously the most responsible parent, and your "feeling bad" is probably due to the fact that you must still care for your ex spouse . Do you think that if the courts had ruled the other way, and your ex had got custody, that She would feel bad?? Custody does not exclude her from her childrens life, and you should not feel bad that you fought for and won the right to keep your children with you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm curious, I want to get some opinions.....
