At the end of my rope- my child just will NOT do work in school!

[Glitterific]

Thanks again for all your suggestions. I'm weighing some new options now.

My daughter told me her teacher upset her by telling her in front of the whole class that she won't be getting promoted- even if she passes the state exam, since she can't behave herself.

First, this is NOT what the teacher told me, and I seriously doubt if my child is so miserable she would elect to leave her back another year if she passes the exam. I believe she told her that as a threat. Shouldn't teachers be encouraging?

I know that the classroom atmosphere is not perfect and neither is she- but should I bring this up to her? I try to encurage my child, but she tells me it doesn't matter since that is what the teacher said. *deep sigh* I really can't wait to be away from this place.

It's not all 'them' but it definitely isn't helping.

[Smedskjaer]

Kids with ADHD learn in different ways. Eventually she will develop the will to sit down, but not right now. Now, she would be best off learning from the world. I have ADD and by living and working in Scandinavia, I learned the languages, history and culture and I plan on returning to the US to take an undergraduate degree in Scandinavian studies. The upshot is, because I already learned the majority of what they can teach at university on my own, they likely will grant me credits for all but 30 credit hours.

Your daughter isn't lost. Far from it. But she needs to learn on her own. Help her do that.

[wsop]

Originally Posted by Glitterific

Thanks again for all your suggestions. I'm weighing some new options now.

My daughter told me her teacher upset her by telling her in front of the whole class that she won't be getting promoted- even if she passes the state exam, since she can't behave herself.

First, this is NOT what the teacher told me, and I seriously doubt if my child is so miserable she would elect to leave her back another year if she passes the exam. I believe she told her that as a threat. Shouldn't teachers be encouraging?

I know that the classroom atmosphere is not perfect and neither is she- but should I bring this up to her? I try to encurage my child, but she tells me it doesn't matter since that is what the teacher said. *deep sigh* I really can't wait to be away from this place.

It's not all 'them' but it definitely isn't helping.

I would seriously, seriously consider spending some time in your daughter's classroom, see how the teacher interacts with her and vice versa, the atmosphere in the classroom.

What really stands out to me is you said in an earlier post that your daughter's personality has changed, and not for the better. Yes, having difficulty with school work can be stressing enough for a child to become very unhappy. But you said she is refusing to do work, not that she can't do it. I would investigate whether the makeup of this classroom suits your daughter. Also, the teacher could have preconceived opinions regarding your daughter's ability due to her dx of ADD.

The teacher's comment in front of the class is completely inappropriate. I would honestly start shifting my focus to the teacher to see if anything she is doing is causing your child to not want to work in class. I have seen more than one teacher, when faced with a child who isn't doing well for whatever reason, shift blame to either the child or a child having a disability.

I am currently having a difficult time with a child in school who has had no previous problems. His teacher I feel has also made inappropriate comments that I have either heard personally or was told firsthand by her. Which of course makes me wonder what she will do or say when no one is within earshot. She even used the taking away of kid's snacks as a form of punishment, and this went on for quite some time before my son told me what was happening. Point being, there can be a lot more going on in this classroom than you know about. And if your daughter is not the problem, imagine how frustrating this may all be to her.

I'm not saying it's all the teacher's fault, just saying that sometimes as adults we automatically trust that adults know what they are doing and therefore it must be the child's issue.

So, I again implore you to investigate further, keep your eyes and ears open and try to get your daughter to open up with you about her classroom, teacher, and classmates.

Good luck.

[Mrs.Bewitched]

I'm sorry, I didn't read past page 2 However, if your child's grades are being affected due to her medical diagnosis, you are entitled to a IEP. Usually, an IEP might not come unless your child is falling below grade level (almost failing). In my school at least, it doesn't dumb down the work. It sets goals and strategies to achieve the goals. But, if she's not failing due to intelligence level, just due to lack of completion of work, and THAT is affecting her grades (which result in her diagnosis), then you can ask for a 504 plan. I know the 504 plan is good in district testing situations, where she'd be given more time.

Also, speak to the teacher. I have accomodated children that I know had a medical diagnosis (and not just lazy workers), with timers at their desks, working at the desk with me, and special incentives.