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I often wonder if the modern approach to dealing with bullies is good for our kids in the long run. The tell approach never really does seem to teach them to deal with conflict. Yet seems to put more reliability on having other people deal with the issues. I mean how much further does this reach other then fights? Does this cause issues with your kids being less independent anytime there is conflict in their lives? I also wonder if it would screw with the fight flight response of kids. I mean when i grew up you took care of your own bullies in your own way. You gained self confidence out of the situation and generally the bully backed off...and in a lot of times didn't bully anymore.
Bullying has changed in the last 10 years...most of the bullying now involves the internet...which didn't exist back in the day.
There has to be another approach to bullying now because there is a new bullying out there. It is no longer throwing punches in the neighborhood.
Bullying has changed in the last 10 years...most of the bullying now involves the internet...which didn't exist back in the day.
There has to be another approach to bullying now because there is a new bullying out there. It is no longer throwing punches in the neighborhood.
Bullying has changed, but often these same net bullies harass in school too, it's very rarely isolated. And it's fairly easy to reinvent yourself on the net anyway if need be.
Bullying has changed, but often these same net bullies harass in school too, it's very rarely isolated. And it's fairly easy to reinvent yourself on the net anyway if need be.
Well, did you leave a forwarding address for your family the last time you re-invented yourself on the net?
(I just noticed they've been gone for 23 days now.)
Bullying has changed, but often these same net bullies harass in school too, it's very rarely isolated..
No, you are wrong...often it is the quiet, shy, timid child who finds power on the internet. I don't think you are current about what is happening with kids today.
Last edited by renovating; 10-22-2010 at 06:18 PM..
Reason: spelling- oiy!
No, you are wrong...often it is the quite, shy, timid child who finds power on the internet. I don't think you are current about what is happening with kids today.
More so then most parents i am sure because up until last year i waited tables at a family restaurant and was around many teens. And anytime i have read about net bullying it almost always says these same teens were harassed at school.
Honestly i think the best solution is for the child to talk to a parent and then for a parent to settle it with the proper athorieties.
I want my daughter to be CONFIDENT enough to come to me and tell me she is being bullied NOT confident enough to fight back on her own.
I agree with you. Why set your kid up to fight? What does is REALLY prove? I can smack you back? Does it REALLY stop a bully? It might get the bully off of your kid for a minute, but you're not solving anything. Bully may come back with a few friends...then what is your kid going to do?
Go talk to to the parents of the offender and fight them if you have to as an ADULT defending your CHILD.... if fighting is going to "solve" an issue. Why put the onus on your kid?
I agree with you. Why set your kid up to fight? What does is REALLY prove? I can smack you back? Does it REALLY stop a bully? It might get the bully off of your kid for a minute, but you're not solving anything. Bully may come back with a few friends...then what is your kid going to do?
Go talk to to the parents of the offender and fight them if you have to as an ADULT defending your CHILD.... if fighting is going to "solve" an issue. Why put the onus on your kid?
How is that going to stop the bully? Most parents of bullies know their kids bully and they either think is it fine because they themselves are bullies or they just don't care. I don't think anyone advocates hitting every bully every time, but in the absence of the authorities taking action, something has to be done. These kids being bullied need to know how to protect themselves and to know they have their parents support should it come to this.
How is that going to stop the bully? Most parents of bullies know their kids bully and they either think is it fine because they themselves are bullies or they just don't care.
Exactly. Take on the parent of the bully. Figure out what you're dealing with and then report, report, report to the school, the BOE and then the police.
Quote:
I don't think anyone advocates hitting every bully every time, but in the absence of the authorities taking action, something has to be done. These kids being bullied need to know how to protect themselves and to know they have their parents support should it come to this.
How is anything REALLY going to stop a bully until those who have the power to take the bully out of the situation intercede? A bully hit/beat up by one of his/her victims is just going to find another victim. Unless that's the point. To get the bully off of your kid and on to another kid....
And when the bully is 5'10 and 120 pounds the the victim is 5' even and 90 pounds soaking wet? Who's gonna win that?
There should be NO absence of authorities (parents included) taking action, and if a parent of a victim is so afraid of the parents of the bully or the consequences of reporting the actions to the authorities....can't say I have any sympathy.
Last edited by Informed Info; 10-22-2010 at 08:42 PM..
My younger brother was constantly bullied in school this past couple years. A white boy with blonde hair and blue eyes that went to school with a lot of blacks. He was constantly picked on in class and school as well as at the bus stop because of his looks and his northern accent. So he did what he needed to defend himself. Telling the kids off as well as something fighting back. Well guess what??? He always got in trouble for it while the bully got of scotch free to torture him again the next day with the added enjoyment that he got in trouble and they didnt.
This is one of my biggest concern about the modern bully approach.
It's not uncommon for the victim to hit the bullies and the real bullies don't get punished and the victim gets labeled a bully.
A kid not fighting bak is asking to be hit again the next day. Teach your kids some self-defense, for crying out loud.
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