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I was watching Dr. Phil and they were showing a couple keeping their engagement a secret from their parents. It's well known that families, esp. parents, have major influences on their kids' relationships. I guess if a couple wants to get married without family approval or they just want to keep it a secret, they should move to another location far away from family.
Now would you be disappointed if your kids kept their relationships a secret from you? Would you be upset if they didn't invite you to their wedding?
Do you really even have to ask? Of course, not knowing about the engagement or the wedding would be indicative of a much bigger problem in the family relationship than missing a ceremony.
The only time I can see this happening otherwise, is, if the parents do not approve of the new partner, and have made it known. However, if that was the case I wouldn't expect the parent to be bothered about missing the wedding.
um, yes, of course I'd be upset. But if a child does something like that there has to be something very wrong in their relationship with their parents. I doubt it would just come out of the blue.
Not necessarily something wrong with the parents....
Could be an 18 yo getting married, secretly, to someone parents don't approve of - perhaps there has been previous abuse in the relationship....Just saying....
Of course I would be very upset if my kids got married without telling me, or inviting me.
I would be ok with them keeping a beginning relationship secret, once they moved out (ie college age or older), but once it got to the engagement seriousness (or moving in together, if they so choose), then I would want to get to know the person my son or daughter loves.
I would be upset if a "kid" got married secretly just so they could continue to live in my house and be supported by me. If you think you are old and mature enough to be married then you are old enough to pay your own way.
An engagement or relationship secret would not bother me in the least. Alot of people like to share a special time like that just between the two involved to minimize all the questions about when, where, who, bride's maids etc.
And who knows how long a bright shiny new relationship will last. I'd rather they keep that to themselves before sharing all the details and then feeling so bad when it doesn't work out. My adult kids are 27 and 29. They have their own lives and share what they are comfortable sharing with us. I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, sometimes I think one of them shares too much---and it's my son by the way---not the daughter.
I was watching Dr. Phil and they were showing a couple keeping their engagement a secret from their parents. It's well known that families, esp. parents, have major influences on their kids' relationships. I guess if a couple wants to get married without family approval or they just want to keep it a secret, they should move to another location far away from family.
Now would you be disappointed if your kids kept their relationships a secret from you? Would you be upset if they didn't invite you to their wedding?
Obviously there are issues if a child keeps that a secret so that is a bigger issue to me. It would tell me that I better figure out what's going on.
There are other reasons to keep a marriage a secret. Not a good idea, but it happens. I know of one couple who wanted to be lovers and did not want to do it outside of marriage, but both were in college and they didn't want to complicate things. They had a private civil ceremony. They planned to get married in church later and did. I don't think their parents minded. They understood, but the church official really let them have it about the lack of honesty. When the church wedding happened, I was probably one of the few people that knew they were doing it for the second time. She was a beautiful bride, he was a handsome groom and they now have several children.
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