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Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,467,697 times
Reputation: 4611
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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands and say, 'How about some sex?' ....and she's always sound asleep."
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about some sex?' ....and she's always sound asleep."
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,467,697 times
Reputation: 4611
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,467,697 times
Reputation: 4611
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum Mike
LOL.. Oh I'm not that bad.. But I promise to make a resolution for 2010 to be a better single man, and...and... Hmmm.. I guess I have 2 weeks to think about the rest of the resolutions..
Well Mike it's 9/17/2010 and I haven't seen any changes...
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,467,697 times
Reputation: 4611
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum Mike
LOL.. Oh I'm not that bad.. But I promise to make a resolution for 2010 to be a better single man, and...and... Hmmm.. I guess I have 2 weeks to think about the rest of the resolutions..
Location: Oklahoma(formerly SoCalif) Originally Mich,
13,387 posts, read 19,467,697 times
Reputation: 4611
well, here goes....
Don had just returned from two weeks of vacation. He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married.
"What!" shouted the boss. "I can't give you more time now. Whey didn't you get married while you were off?"
"Are you nuts?" replied Don. "That would have ruined my entire vacation!"
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But I promise to make a resolution for 2010 to be a better single man, and...and... Hmmm.. I guess I have 2 weeks to think about the rest of the resolutions.. 
..
