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You’ve enjoyed living in your home and neighborhood for many years now. The neighbors are great and everyone gets along without any trouble. Everyone is friendly and helpful but not to the point of being a problem. They all say hello or wave as they go by.
However a few months ago a new family moved next door. So far they remain very closed to greeting with outsiders. They never make eye contact, wave or say anything to the others. They have isolated themselves and even their kids don’t play with the others in the area.
The annual block party is going to be held soon and organizing it requires each family to bring a covered dish for others to enjoy. A picnic area must be setup in the area directly in front of their house, and can’t be changed because of several other issues that are already in place.
You managed to stop by the neighbor’s front door and you ring the bell. They answer and you have a conversation with them about the up coming block party. You’ve talked with them about the arrangements and they don’t want to attend and they don’t want anything setup in front of their home for the annual block party. What do you do?
I can't think of a single reason why it couldn't be set up one house to the left or right of them; if you can give me a good reason, I'll reconsider. Can I come? I love parties!
Careful AksarbeN, that could be me. Let me give you some reasons why people like that (and me) are like that:
Someone in the house is a day sleeper
Activity in front of the house will annoy the dogs in the house which will then annoy the day sleeper.
People who have been victimized by crime will often keep to themselves.
People who have been abused by a friend will often keep to themselves.
People who have sensory issues will keep to themselves.
Someone in the house has an illness that is aggravated by excitement
Someone in the house isn't quite right and they are sheltering that person as long as they can.
Someone in the house is an ex con or registered sex offender and they don't need the temptation of fresh meat milling about in front of their house.
No matter what the issue, you asked, they heard you out and they declined. Respect their wishes and show them what a great bunch of neighbors you are.
AliceT wow great post. I wouldn't have thought of any of that. Shame on me.
But I would then ask them if it would pose any problem if the rest of the neighborhood carried on this tradition. There might be a solution that would not upset any household on the block.
I say take it across the street if possible. I wouldn't cancel the block party, just have them let you know if the need to get up and down the street.
No reason the rest of you can't enjoy the party and respect their wishes at the same time.
...And don't forget the ever so popular great American pastime - perhaps these new neighbors were previously sued by someone who got hurt on their property. If that were the case, you can bet they would decline having people milling about and/or "partying" in front of their house or worse, on their property.
I was thinking the same thing as Alice. There are people that wish to stay by themselves for many different reasons and I just respect that.
We have a few in this community and some say......."they never come to anything we have". Well there is a reason and that is okay by me.
Not everyone should be forced to join in if they choose not too.
I know the couple that live behind me never show their face. It's obvious there is a problem with the husband and i'm suspecting Alzhimers or some type of demtia.
A few other people seem to have some type of mental problem.
The thing is, you don't know what another person is going through. All you can do is extend your hand and if it is not received then just back off and respect their wishes.
It is great to live in a neighborhood like that. There will always be some who don't want to mingle. I would first try to persuade them and if that doesn't work I would move the party. There has to be a solution. If so many people want it I'm sure it could be done on someone's front lawn and on the street in front.
The last time I lived on a street with neighbors I knew about 80% of them and I only lived there for 1 1/2 years. I talked to everyone. My husband called me the neighborhood yenta.
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Can I come? I love parties!
If so many people want it I'm sure it could be done on someone's front lawn and on the street in front.
