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I would just like to hear from some of you guys about how much alone time you like, typically where and how you get it/what you do and if you have a significant other how do they feel/react to that?
This is a topic of conversation with my fiance. We both seem to like some alone time, I imagine alot of individuals do, but we have different ideas about when and where. For example, I like to sleep alone sometimes. I understand once I am married that is not appropriate and just not standard. But is there really anything wrong with once and a while? I also like time in the evening to read, walking and jogging alone and actually going home out of state alone. I'll be spending Memorial Day weekend with my family back home. I think he is kind of surprised I'm not asking him to try and get the time off work. Honestly, I am looking forward to it. Don't get me wrong- I love him and our time together but once and while I like to go solo.
I love being alone! Love it, love it , love it! My bf doesn't care too much for being alone. I would sleep really nicely if I had the bed to myself. Luckily with our schedules I do get a few hours a day of being alone.
I think "alone time" is actually necessary for everyone. It is healthy. I, too, like to pursue exercise time alone. I also enjoy reading at night before bed. It is relaxing. I think alot of the joy of "alone time" for me, at least, is about getting and staying quiet for a while. Not having to worry about someone else's needs or the need to converse with someone. Silence is very peaceful and stablizing, I think. Fiance has joined me in the daily practice of reading before bed and now looks forward to it and loves it. I feel that one shouldn't have to change too many things to be with someone - including, but not limited to, personal routine and schedule - because if you trade too much of those foundational things that make you who you are, you are also changing yourself and consequently your relationship with significant other, fiance/fiancee, or husband. Nothing wrong if you would like to sleep elsewhere in the home occasionally, regardless of marital state. I think that you and your fiance need to decide what works best for you. Don't let outside influences dictate what you should or should not be doing or what is "appropriate". What is appropriate in any relationship is what works for both parties. End of story!
Last edited by FedUpInFtMyers; 03-21-2007 at 03:11 PM..
Reason: one more thing
I like it here and there. To watch my R rated movie without the kiddos around...to go and have a chance to get my nails and toes done...to go shopping without hearing whining behind me...I need it every once in a while! But I get it every once in a LOOONG while!
I think "alone time" is actually necessary for everyone. It is healthy. I, too, like to pursue exercise time alone. I also enjoy reading at night before bed. It is relaxing. I think alot of the joy of "alone time" for me, at least, is about getting and staying quiet for a while. Not having to worry about someone else's needs or the need to converse with someone. Silence is very peaceful and stablizing, I think. Fiance has joined me in the daily practice of reading before bed and now looks forward to it and loves it. I feel that one shouldn't have to change too many things to be with someone - including, but not limited to, personal routine and schedule - because if you trade too much of those foundational things that make you who you are, you are also changing yourself and consequently your relationship with significant other, fiance/fiancee, or husband. Nothing wrong if you would like to sleep elsewhere in the home occasionally, regardless of marital state. I think that you and your fiance need to decide what works best for you. Don't let outside influences dictate what you should or should not be doing or what is "appropriate". What is appropriate in any relationship is what works for both parties. End of story!
I too always thought it was healthy. I think it can work the opposite as well. I know a few people that live alone often look forward to being out or spending time with others.
I am very glad to hear someone thinks it is OK to sleep by yourself when you are married. There was an article on MSN about the high rate currently of spouses sleeping in seperate bedrooms. I am not sure the reasons, might be seperation or something, I didn't read all of it. Anyways, sometimes it can be hard to see what is "right" or "OK" when you are getting different influences. So thanks to everyone who has responded. I do appreciate it!
My favorite alone time is is the shower. I love the hot water, no cell phone/dog/cat/husband time. Sometimes I waste a little water just to have a few extra minutes to myself.
My husband & I have figured out the separate bed thing. 2 double beds, side by side with a homemade bedspread. We don't like the same kind of sheets, and he is a major sprawler! I am a VERY light sleeper. He does not kick me anymore because his sheets are tucked in on the side. The dog is not so sure she likes this, and will either sleep on my side or on his but not on the crack in the middle.
I love alone time; so does my husband. We average 2-3 hours of alone time per day. I get off work an hour early than he does; when he gets out of work he goes to the gym almost daily (I am counting that in alone time). That's my time to putter around the house, check my emails, surf the web, make phone calls, just chill. He will go to the gym, play video games, do his fantasy sports. We always sleep together, although whenever he does fantasy sports (baseball and football) there will be 2-3 nights each week where he's up an hour or two after I go to bed.
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My cave time is about 3-4 hours a day. Then again, I home from work by 2PM.
