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A wise man once told me...........if someone sincerely says about you at your wake/funeral................" he was a good man ".... your life was a success 1
My grandfather was a successful man and he left college funds for all his grandchildren and great-grandchildren when he died. Those kids have all grown up now and his gift was a large piece of their over all success. They don't all remember him directly but he has had so much influence they feel like they do. I won't be able to leave even close to the legacy he left but I like how he touched the younger generations and I look forward to helping my grandkids get to college as well, if I have any. I will probably start a scholarship if I end up without any grandkids (a real possibility). Partly to honor my grandfather and everything he did for me and my kids, but partly also to leave my own legacy.
My ex husband and I have talked about this. The house we used to co-own, was under a VA loan in his name, and I got out of the whole thing in the divorce and so the house is now his. Which suits me fine. His plan, is that upon his death, his veterans' life insurance pays off the loan and the house, plus the remainder of his assets, goes into a trust which pays out under strict conditions to his descendants.
I don't like this. First of all, so you got a house in the burbs, so what? It's not like it's a house with any character, an old house, or a house the kids spent most of their childhood in. It's a standard suburban rancher full of bad memories for everybody who was in it, for most of the 4 years or so we were there together more or less. And the conditions for the kids to get any benefit of the trust? Like, if they are doing this or that with their lives? I see it as him trying to impose his controlling and judgmental personal stuff onto future generations. If they live the way he thinks a decent person should, then they benefit from "his legacy."
But whatever, it's HIS house and HIS life insurance. Not my place to say. But he has, smugly, asked me what I think I will be leaving behind. Well... For one thing, I have been PRESENT with our kids more, so memories for sure. And I hope to write a book about my life, so that in 4 or 5 generations if some descendant wants to know what sort of person I was or how life was during my time, they can read it. I would find that amazing, to read the life story of an ancestor. I make art, and that will hopefully get passed down, at least some of it. And sure, perhaps there might be some wealth. I hope to have raised strong enough sons that they're doing fine on their own by that point, but whatever is left, well, not like I can take it with me.
I'm more about living my life, than planning my death though.
The great number of the people who would have reason to remember me positively and fondly are already dead...as are those who may have thought I was an SOB. I have saved enough money to be helpful in a small way to a local organization for very severely handicapped children, a local hospice movement and a small retreat community - presuming that the money is not used up before I die due to some personal emergency. I have left small bequests to two people who helped me in times of illness.
I shall be cremated and my ashes scattered on a beach, and four or five people may remember me for awhile. This event is probably not too very far in the future, and I am comfortable with the picture in the rear-view mirror as it stands now.
My ex husband and I have talked about this. The house we used to co-own, was under a VA loan in his name, and I got out of the whole thing in the divorce and so the house is now his. Which suits me fine. His plan, is that upon his death, his veterans' life insurance pays off the loan and the house, plus the remainder of his assets, goes into a trust which pays out under strict conditions to his descendants.
I don't like this. First of all, so you got a house in the burbs, so what? It's not like it's a house with any character, an old house, or a house the kids spent most of their childhood in. It's a standard suburban rancher full of bad memories for everybody who was in it, for most of the 4 years or so we were there together more or less. And the conditions for the kids to get any benefit of the trust? Like, if they are doing this or that with their lives? I see it as him trying to impose his controlling and judgmental personal stuff onto future generations. If they live the way he thinks a decent person should, then they benefit from "his legacy."
But whatever, it's HIS house and HIS life insurance. Not my place to say. But he has, smugly, asked me what I think I will be leaving behind. Well... For one thing, I have been PRESENT with our kids more, so memories for sure. And I hope to write a book about my life, so that in 4 or 5 generations if some descendant wants to know what sort of person I was or how life was during my time, they can read it. I would find that amazing, to read the life story of an ancestor. I make art, and that will hopefully get passed down, at least some of it. And sure, perhaps there might be some wealth. I hope to have raised strong enough sons that they're doing fine on their own by that point, but whatever is left, well, not like I can take it with me.
I'm more about living my life, than planning my death though.
“Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all.” Laura Ingalls Wilder
...I have been PRESENT with our kids more, so memories for sure. And I hope to write a book about my life, so that in 4 or 5 generations if some descendant wants to know what sort of person I was or how life was during my time, they can read it. I would find that amazing, to read the life story of an ancestor. I make art, and that will hopefully get passed down, at least some of it. And sure, perhaps there might be some wealth. I hope to have raised strong enough sons that they're doing fine on their own by that point, but whatever is left, well, not like I can take it with me.
I'm more about living my life, than planning my death though.
Sonic Spork, your ex reminds me of people who think that they win some sort of contest by amassing resources they then won't share with the people they're supposed to care about the most. Better to leave good memories and to have been a good parent.
Sonic Spork, your ex reminds me of people who think that they win some sort of contest by amassing resources they then won't share with the people they're supposed to care about the most. Better to leave good memories and to have been a good parent.
My son will always remember me as the weird woman who raised him and said thing like, "I know! Let's put on a show in the barn!
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