Words With Two Meanings

[tasmtairy]

Ha ha, very funny Elnina!! Okay yours were funny too Mike!!

[LilyLady]

Wow! I came to this thread thinking it would be something entirely different. I like this much better and I can't think of a single thing to add. Elnina and Mike, those are hilarious!

[GloryB]

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y56/ZootHouse/shopping.jpg (broken link)

[AksarbeN]

^^ LOL how true that is!

[buddy5]

Mean

1. to have in mind as one's purpose or intention; intend: I meant to compliment you on your work.

2. to intend for a particular purpose, destination, etc.: They were meant for each other.

3. to intend to express or indicate: What do you mean by “liberal”?

4. to have as its sense or signification; signify: The word “freedom” means many things to many people.

5. to bring, cause, or produce as a result: This bonus means that we can take a trip to Florida.

[studedude]

Originally Posted by BigMike50

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.

Thank you for posting the opposition's position.

[Lucky Lady123]

Originally Posted by elnina

Words With Two Meanings - feel free to add yours

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND ...

He said - She said

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said ... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said ... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said ... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said ... We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said ... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge

Thanks for making me laugh this morning.