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I am not asking much, but when I go out of the way to buy a card and a baby gift, wrap it call the mother (neighbor) about a good time to drop off "a little something" for the new baby, and then never to get a note in my mailbox. I even saw the young couple out walking the baby and we chatted for awhile today. They are very nice people, but what has happened to manners and proper ettiquette . This happened with my next door neighbors about a year and a half ago. We actually gave crib, changing table. toys, etc....things a Grandma stores in the basement, before the baby was born... They did thank us on the spot, and then after the baby was born, I took over a small gift....they did not open it just said thanks and that was it. I used to bake cookies when new people came in to the neighborhood...no one seem to appreciate anything anymore. What gives?
Best to give because people need it....not because you think they will show adequate gratitude. Hand written notes are really something I see little of these days. The lack of them doesn't mean the people don't appreciate your thoughtfulness.
This is a pet peeve of mine also. I never got one from my cousin for the wedding gift over a year ago. I send gifts or gift cards to my 11 and 12 yo niece and nephew every b-day and Christmas and never get an note from them. I always send a thank you to their parents when they give gifts... I think it is rude. I'd even settle for an e-mail or a text!
If the gift was sent by mail, yes, definitely a thank you note is in order. (Or at least a phone call or email.) For a wedding, graduation, new birth, shower gift, housewarming gift, birthday party, etc. a thank you note is also in order. If the gift was a Christmas gift exchange among family, then I think a thank you at the time is sufficient and a comment again at a later date.
To the OP, don't change the way you are. I think most people nowadays don't do it...but out of respect, I like sending them. I just sent a thank you card out the other day to some folks who let us stay at their camp. They went all out for us, it was the least I could do to show my appreciation. I, in return, like receiving them also.
Honestly, I've never sent a thank you card in my life. I am of a younger generation, so maybe that's the difference. I do not know of other people my age who do it either.
Thank you notes? Yes. Thank yous? No. I just think most people prefer to do it by email nowadays.
That said, some people are raised with the same manners and etiquette as you and some are raised with a different set of shoulds and should nots. I try not to judge people cause for example, I had no idea it was customary to wait till everyone was served before eating at the dinner table because no one ever told me. For a long time I did that without knowing better and I wonder how many people judged me as rude when I just didn't know cause my parents/other people in my life just never told me. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and if they don't do something the way I would, I figure they were probably raised by a different set of rules but are still generally well-meaning kind people.
Its not a thing of the past, and sometimes a person may not have the time to mail out notes, but a phone call is always a good way to say thanks. When my dad passed away earlier this year, I got cards like crazy and since most of them didnt have addresses on them (they were handed to me) I simply emailed or called the givers, to let them know I was grateful for their thoughts.
I wonder if people realize they are not saying thank you!
I'm a little angry at my BIL about it. Last Christmas we sent a present to his family, he never thanked us. We also sent him birthday cards etc... nothing. Not even a little e-mail.
Thank you notes? Yes. Thank yous? No. I just think most people prefer to do it by email nowadays.
That said, some people are raised with the same manners and etiquette as you and some are raised with a different set of shoulds and should nots. I try not to judge people cause for example, I had no idea it was customary to wait till everyone was served before eating at the dinner table because no one ever told me. For a long time I did that without knowing better and I wonder how many people judged me as rude when I just didn't know cause my parents/other people in my life just never told me. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and if they don't do something the way I would, I figure they were probably raised by a different set of rules but are still generally well-meaning kind people.
Well said!
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