Where to live in Oregon (Portland, Eugene: fit in, to rent, crime)

[msgem]

I am currently living in Beaverton OR. My landlord just hiked the rent on my not so great duplex so I have to move. Since I'm moving I figured its time to get out of Beaverton since we don't really care for it anyway. So some help with knowing where to go so that I can feel comfortable and at home.

Here is my situation. I am a single mom, going back to school due to the crappy economy. I've worked most all of my life and look forward to getting back to myself. My personality, I'm too conservative for liberals but too liberal for conservatives. I need somewhere that is in-between. Conservative, but not stuffy (Corvallis), liberal but not anything goes (Portland). I don't drink, I don't do drugs (not even 420 and don't care to be around it) I smoke ciggs but never in my house and never in public. Only at home outside away from my kids. I'm kind of a closet smoker, I don't lie about it, but I keep it to myself. I am friendly and accepting but like keeping to myself with the acceptation of a handful of good friends. I am a believer in God and I do pray but I am not a go to church every Sunday type of person.

All in all I'm almost the stereotypical all American girl next door. I mind my own business and like people to leave me be accept typical friendliness (not nosey) Don't lie, cheat or steal. Work hard, help those who need it and don't be overly judgmental. I am the irritating fence sitter in most situations and can see the good and the bad. I try to see people for who they are. Good, honest kind people are who I like to be around. I don't party or go clubbing. But I don't sit at home and watch TV all day either. I like nature and going out to family oriented type community events. We are small town dwellers and have not faired well in the city environment.

I was thinking Cottage Grove maybe? I know Eugene is pretty liberal, but I would be a bit away from it. I like the idea of living in a small area but having shopping options close by like Costco, a Mall or whatever.

I've considered Roseburg but was told by a few that it is way more conservative than I would like and it is a bit on the racist/judgmental side. People are people and should be treated based on their actions not their skin color, religious, sexual orientation or financial status. I know that crap is everywhere but would like to live somewhere that it is not the majority.

My other idea was outskirts of Salem. I lived in the N. Salem area and Keiser but it seems "dirty" and crime ridden. I cant get the image of Lancaster out of my head. Though I liked S. Salem when I drove through, it was like a totally different town. I do have a son on the autism spectrum. So I need to be somewhere that schools can accommodate him without over doing it or ignoring it. We have finally fought the good fight here and got him the help he needs.

Any ideas or suggestions would be much appreciated. Good ol' family friendly folks would be my perfect neighbors. Be neighborly without being nosey. Be Christian without being a "bible thumper" I like open minded people but don't care to be exposed to say...a nudist who smokes pot all day and wants to live in a tent on his property (totally made up, I've never actually met someone like that, exactly....he wore underpants and wasn't my neighbor).

I know I will never find the perfect paradise where everyone thinks like me, I get that. But there is a majority type mentality in areas I would like to find. Portland is too liberal and open (naked bike run grosses me out) and Corvallis is too Stuffy. Something in-between with close by shopping and things to do would be fabulous.

Maybe I'm asking for a miracle, if that's the case, feel free to say so. Nicely.

[jjpop]

Just curious--you call Corvallis "stuffy" several times. What makes you say that?

Not that I disagree necessarily, I'm just wondering if you had an experience that resulted in that opinion. Because based on what you want the first place I would recommend to you would be Corvallis.

[msgem]

Well, I don't necessarily think Corvallis is a "bad" place to live, let me say that. Just not for me. I just felt really isolated. People were very judgmental but pretended not to be. Lot of gossip type people. At first people seemed to like me just fine because I didn't fit the "unlikeables" but didn't like me real quick when I didn't join in with the rumor mill and go jog everyday. I found it to be really an awkward place to live. It seemed like you had to fit their perception of open mindedness in order to fit in. It did not come across to me as family oriented. I heard often that it was, but you never see people out with their kids. It was "clickish" so to speak. So to me, it came across as snobbish to only like those who jog, work as a social worker or go to college. I'm being dramatic in my choice of words, but you catch the drift. It just didn't come across to me as a "friendly" environment. I remember going to the farmers market and I was the only person their with my kids. you either had to be a "professional" in their minds or a college student. I found it hard to find anyone in-between. Like I loved the charm of Corvallis but not the people, I liked most the people in Albany but not the environment otherwise. Did that explain it? I do think it is a great place to either retire, or start college, nothing in the middle though.

[msgem]

Also funny you say that because I have often wondered if I just fell around the wrong crowd in Corvallis. Maybe it was the specific area I lived. Because there is a lot of stuff I miss about Corvallis, just concerned with the lack of social life because I don't fit the typical Corvallis type person.

[jjpop]

When you said "clickish" I nodded my head. I lived there up until about 4 years ago--I also have kids who were in early elementary school at the time. It was funny how people seemed to know each other but also seemed to have little room in their social calendars for making new friends--specifically me and my family. I'm a bit introverted, so I'm certainly at least partly to blame, but the friends I had there were friends from work mostly, and just a few friends who were other parents we met through the kids...

But I disagree about it not being family friendly. We always saw kids in the parks and at the farmers market--in fact I thought that parents brought their kids with them everywhere in Corvallis. One gripe I had was that there didn't seem to be a lot of kid-oriented activities. But when we ran out of things to do we went to the library. The library there is great.

Maybe time to pay Corvallis another visit? Sometimes the place that you're living and your stage in life don't necessarily align.

[msgem]

I hear ya. I think so too. My kids are now middle school and high school. They were both in Elementary school before. I don't know. I myself am a bit of an introvert. I found it easy to find people to talk to in general, people are friendly, but I found it hard to "fit in " with already formed group of friends. So I had lots of people I could say hello to when I was out and about, but never made any real "friends" in the area. Those I did like ended up moving for the same reason I wanted to leave.

It seemed to me either people were young and in college or they already knew people for years. I even had issues trying to be part of the schools, the mom's were all really gossipy and negative and it really brought me down. I think I met the wrong crowd trying to be too friendly and people got the wrong impression of me. It seems once you met the wrong people there is no turning back. I don't think Corvallis is the place for me. I found them to be very judgmental and in a lot of ways very childish.

You and I lived there around the same time. I lived there from 2007-2010 then moved closer to my family. They are city dwellers and love Portland, I on the other hand, not so much. I like the smaller community where I know my neighbors and wave Hi to them daily.

Did you stay in Oregon and do you like where you are better?

[jjpop]

Yeah, we're also in the Beaverton area now. We moved here because I got laid off in Corvallis and couldn't find work within a reasonable commuting radius. So when people talk about what a low unemployment rate Benton County has, it's not because there are a lot of jobs, it's because the jobs that do exist are incredibly stable, like the University. People that lose their jobs in Corvallis (and I know quite a few from HP) don't just stick around Corvallis to find something else, they move on. That's why Benton County ends up having the lowest unemployment in the state.

I like it here better--more fun things for the kids (and adults!) to do and more job opportunities. We got more house for our money here, and I have a better paying job. I even think the Beaverton School District is better than the Corvallis SD. But I do hate the traffic. And I would actually consider returning to Corvallis when I retire, as you suggested.

You mentioned Salem in a previous post--I would certainly look at Salem. It's more conservative than Corvallis, but also more blue collar, so it might not have the cliquishness that Corvallis has. Maybe also consider Vancouver, WA? Salem and Vancouver are two cities that, IMO, get a bum rap.

[msgem]

I am looking around and I guess we will see what we come up with. I actually like the BSD better than Corvallis too. We moved into a shady neighborhood here and I think that is my biggest issue. Once I got my kids out of the boundary schools they have done great. I'm looking to move because I'm finding it difficult to find a place to rent on my income until I finish school. I knew a LOT of people that got laid off from HP too. I worked at Mega Tech for some time and liked it, but they were having to lay people off too. If we can find an affordable place in Beaverton area that isn't in the "Beaverton ghetto" then we will end up staying. I want other options. I have heard that my dislike for the area is my neighborhood. I tend to agree but feel nervous about ending up in the same boat.

I will update what we have found. I will be taking a drive down as far as Cottage Grove and looking around as well as looking for a few places I have found here. Your posts have actually been quite helpful, thank you. It gave me time to think through my options and needs. Sometimes you just gotta talk it out to yourself while someone is tossing in some thoughts. Best wishes to you and your family up here.

I do keep myself out of the Portland area for the most of it anyway. I think I've been there 5x or so if you don't count OMSI.

[Silverfall]

I actually think Salem would be a good fit for you. It is a moderate city, politically. South and West Salem are quite nice. Lancaster is an abomination of city planning, but can't do anything about it. When you are driving around drive around those parts. South central Salem is from Mission street south to Madrona (on the west of I-5). South Salem is from Madrona south.

West is on the other side of the river.

If you want a smaller town, check out Silverton. Really great community near Salem.

I have a special needs kiddo. My kids have been in private schools since 2011. My experience was Salem-Keizer was that the teachers at Schirle Elementary were genuine in their desire to help my child and I liked them. I thought SK was dysfunctional in how they go about implementing IEP's and doing services. We actually hired an attorney when my daughter was going into kinder because I thought they were idiotic. Good teachers, bad admin.

If you have a good IEP plan with Beaverton, I think your battle would be easier since someone else has paved the way. If you can bypass the administration and work as much with the teachers, I think things will be fine. Generally Sprague is considered the best high school in Salem and Crossler and Judson are solid middle schools that feed into it. They are all located in south Salem.

SK does rock music. They have great music programs in the schools and cutting them wasn't an option during budget cuts. They are really committed to having those programs.

Western Oregon State isn't far away in Monmouth and if you need to start at community college, Chemeketa is here too. We also have Willamette University in town, which is 2,000 students.

I don't think there is a lack of family things to do in Salem, but that depends on what you and your kids like to do.

[msgem]

Thanks, that is really great info Silverfall. I had looked into Silverfalls a few years back. I went to the falls and just LOVED the town atmosphere. I inquired before and was told that the area is not keen on new people in their community and the sped was horrible. That was what made me decide Beaverton. I like Beaverton school district once you get past the fight from hell to get the IEP right. Once I moved my kids from the boundary schools their experience changed for the better. I only have a couple of months to decide so I will be doing a lot of looking around.