Weird Question (Scranton, Lima: real estate, mortgage, houses)

[pixieshmoo]

I'm posting this question in a few forums because for several years I've struggled with wanting to leave my state and move elsewhere. During that time my children have gotten older and it's getting harder to leave, as they will be in high school within the next couple of years. They say they will hate us if we move and are determined to be miserable anywhere but here. I want to move because it's not so great here anymore, too crowded, too judgmental, too competitive, too worried about trends & money, too fast paced, too worried about outward appearance, schools aren't what they used to be, drugs, sex, crime, etc. I know it's everywhere but I also know there are better places than here. So I am posting this question in a few chosen (states) forums and am hoping for some good feedback.

Now for the weird/stupid question: How do the children and/or adolescents in your particular community, school system, town, county or state react to newcomers??

While this may sound incredibly ridiculous, keep in mind what we hear on the news about kids who often befriend the "newcomer", act like they want to pursue a friendship, invite the child somewhere and end up beating the kid to death or near death and leaving them there. I know it's not something that is a daily event in most places, but it's not unheard of. I recall a few years ago seeing a video on the news of a group of girls who did that to one new girl. Not only did they beat her to a pulp, they videotaped themselves doing it! Considering that my oldest is almost in high school, I see it as a valid question based on how children socialize, how they are judged, teased, ridiculed, teen suicide, depression, etc. You see it all over the country. I want to move to better the lives and futures of my children, not make their lives miserable or put them in jeopardy. And as we all know, children are harsh and brutally honest and simply downright cruel at times.

So, based on all that I have written, I am hoping that many of you, as parents, teachers, even students and teens, or simply someone who knows what goes on in their community, can tell me from your point of view or experience or what goes on in your local news, how accepted newcomers are to your area, is there gang violence, adolescent violence, is it a friendly, welcoming place to live, are people accepted freely or are they ridiculed until they prove themselves, etc? I have no particular area preference at this time, but if you don't mind listing where you're from, or close to where you're from if you'd like to remain private, along with your response, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you sincerely

[sheena12]

Why is this a weird question? I think it happens to be a great question for people with children who want to relocate!

[jtees4]

I can't help you much other than to say...I moved to Long Island 12 years ago. My son was 12. He refused to get out of the car when we came to see this home with the real estate agent. He said he would hate us and hate it here if we moved. He is now 24. Just graduated Stony Brook and had a great teenhood here, never got in trouble, no fights in school. Loved it! Now he will be moving out soon, not sure where yet. We may be moving to NEPA mostly because of cost of living issues for my wife and I as we want to semi retire. My youngest, a 16 year old daughter tells us she will hate us and will hate it if we move there. Sounds like a common story to me. Don't let the kids make the decision for you. They will be fine. Good luck.

[LIMAMA4]

We are moving to NEPA next year. We have a 14 yr old, 12yr old, 41/2 and 21/2 yr old. I was worried mostly about my older son who will be leaving his high school here. The high costs of living on Long Island are insane and in turn causes a very difficult schedule that we need to live just to survive. I work days and my husband works nights. There is no quality family time for us here. As sad as it will be to leave family and friends, there are many benefits to the move. We are all looking forward to it.

[sheena12]

LIMAMA4 you are right. The quality of life here sad to say borders on miserable. Our monthly utility bills are through the roof. In fact we could pay another mortgage with what we pay monthly.
I have just presented the move in a positive light - we will have more discretionary cash. We can travel more. We live in Stony Brook also. Beautiful area, great schools, historic and very pretty as suburbia goes. But we can not afford to live here in a normal way anymore. And if I ever had that kind of money I am not sure that is the message I would want to send.
But most of my children's friends are super rich.My daughter especially gets frustrated when her friends travel to exotic places have houses loaded with servants and half mile drive ways.(she has a penchant for making friends with people in the Old Field and Poquot areas so I so I guess when we move she will be hob nobbing with folks from The Abingtons) People here are "understated rich" i.e. it's not about flashy jewelry and cars.
But money is money, no matter how you spend it. I am not sure I like the values she is picking up.
What I have done with the move is ease the kids into it. When we look for houses, we make it a vacation. Now NEPA is familiar to them.
Also in this age of facebook and myspace kids can still keep in touch.
They are very ready to move. My daughter found the Mall at Steam Town and she is happy. :-)
My son has friends through the vegan - artistic croud and he is happy that living in Scranton will be a "greener choice"
As for me I am sick of the 'burbs...
But reall what I have noticed is the more parents - particularly parents of teens and tweens worry about their children missing their friends, the worse the outcome.
Really how many friends from eighth grade for example are you still in contact with on a daily basis?

[LIMAMA4]

Sheena,

We just bought property in Masthope and will be building up there next year when my husband retires. My 2 older children have been going up there since they were 3 and 4 to stay with my in-laws. They love it there. It will be a definite change from what we are used to, but a change for the better all around. My husband and I did tell them that when we do come down to Long Island to visit family, their friends are more than welcomed to come back with us and stay a few days. They seemed happy about that. They are old enough to see and realize how hectic our schedules are and they know that things will be much easier and happier up in NEPA.