Schools and traffic are better in Raleigh, but traffic is not great in Raleigh and all schools aren't bad in Charlotte. Overall Raleigh wins in schools and traffic, though.
You can look up the state's school data at
NC School Report Cards . Raleigh Schools are Wake County; Charlotte's are Charlotte-Mecklenburg. If you look at the ACT scores be aware that the state recently required all students, even those who aren't planning on going to college, to take the ACT. It's part of the state's accountability system for schools. The SAT is only taken by kids who want to go on to college, so it's a better comparison to the rest of the country. Chapel Hill-Carrboro City Schools are the best performing district in the state.
https://ncreportcards.ondemand.sas.c...C+Report+Cards
Top high schools in Charlotte are Providence High, Ardrey Kell and Myers Park. In Wake Co, top spots go to Green Hope, Panther Creek, Apex High. All the high school in Chapel Hill Carrboro perform well.
Charlotte is bigger and has the pluses and minuses that go with that (pro sports, lots of traffic).
Raleigh is more academic with more universities and museums and no theme parks. Raleigh as a whole has a higher number of residents with college degrees and advanced degrees.
However both cities are more similar to each other, both have a very "family friendly" vibe, than either one is to Austin.