People Who Cannot Take Hints (person, college, feel)
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I normally am very down to earth and easy going. I don't get mad easily. But (I bet you knew this was coming) I have this one friend who is driving me crazy . He lives in a different city than I do (about 3 hours away). We don't have a very close relationship - we just recently got into contact after about 7 years. Now he is contacting me all the time (texting, calling, iming, etc) and he is always inviting me to visit him. Its not easy for me to get away, and even if it was, I wouldn't want to spend my whole weekend with him.
I have tried being nice. I have tried making excuses. But he will just not get the hint. He has even resorted to guilt trips. At this point I am so irritated that I don't even want to talk to him anymore. One thing that absolutely ticks me off is when someone persists in asking me the same question over and over again, when I have already given an answer! He was especially persistent about this last weekend, and no joke, he must have asked me about a dozen times to come visit him.
Has anyone been in this situation? How do you handle someone like this? I'm thinking the best way is just to cut off all contact and hope he fades into the distance.
I normally am very down to earth and easy going. I don't get mad easily. But (I bet you knew this was coming) I have this one friend who is driving me crazy . He lives in a different city than I do (about 3 hours away). We don't have a very close relationship - we just recently got into contact after about 7 years. Now he is contacting me all the time (texting, calling, iming, etc) and he is always inviting me to visit him. Its not easy for me to get away, and even if it was, I wouldn't want to spend my whole weekend with him.
I have tried being nice. I have tried making excuses. But he will just not get the hint. He has even resorted to guilt trips. At this point I am so irritated that I don't even want to talk to him anymore. One thing that absolutely ticks me off is when someone persists in asking me the same question over and over again, when I have already given an answer! He was especially persistent about this last weekend, and no joke, he must have asked me about a dozen times to come visit him.
Has anyone been in this situation? How do you handle someone like this? I'm thinking the best way is just to cut off all contact and hope he fades into the distance.
I'm bad at taking hints. You have to tell me things directly.
I'm bad at taking hints. You have to tell me things directly.
Actually, I think I'm being pretty direct. He asks me to visit, I tell him 'no'. How much more direct can I be? What does he want me to say 'no, and stop f---ing asking me'? Gah !
Yeah, that might be the way you have to go. I know you may feel that bluntness is rudeness--but he'll get over it. Or should anyhow.
I had someone from out of state ask me a number of times to visit her. Told her I couldn't see that happening--I haven't left the state since '92, except that one time the college flew me out to California. Other than that, I've been here. I finally just stopped responding to her.
I'm bad at taking hints. You have to tell me things directly.
yeah for sure,....i hate when people play games..believe it or not guys can take rejection way better than women since we get rejected all the time by women so just say what you mean and you will find it's easy for us to move on..or is it that women like to have the feeling that the guy would still like them and do anything for her but they just want him to hurry up and get out of their lives so that they feel like they weren't dumped but yet feel like the guy is now bowing down at their feet after the girl hinted that they weren't interested...
Some people simply lack the ability to pick up certain social cues, like hints, facial expressions, body language, etc. It's easy to label such people as "clueless" or "dense," but the average person's ability to understand this kind of unspoken language is pretty amazing, when you start studying. At least it was for me; my daughter is autistic, and she absolutely cannot understand sarcasm. Not the tone, not the irony of the words, not the face that sarcastic people often make. She listens to the literal words you say, and that's it.
You don't sound like you're dropping hints, though ... "No" is a direct answer. Are you hedging it with, "No, I can't this weekend" or "No, this Saturday isn't good for me"? Your friend apparently does not understand your "No" means, "No, and I don't ever want to," so you need to say that. You can say that gently and politely. "Thank you for asking me, but I don't want to go. Please stop asking me."
Unfortunately the monster is out of the box, and at some point you'll probably have to hurt his feelings. Hopefully you'll only have to do it once.
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. He lives in a different city than I do (about 3 hours away). We don't have a very close relationship - we just recently got into contact after about 7 years. Now he is contacting me all the time (texting, calling, iming, etc) and he is always inviting me to visit him. Its not easy for me to get away, and even if it was, I wouldn't want to spend my whole weekend with him. 
!
