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Old 02-18-2010, 03:23 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,412,967 times
Reputation: 1612

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
In your eyes. In theirs, perhaps it is. Open-minded, remember?
All rights hold a rational basis. I have no right to my neighbour's wife.

Quote:
When it comes to friends, family and lovers, I think rationality often takes an extended vacation.
I disagree. There are limits in all things. In friends, family and especially lovers. Are you saying with your SO, there are no boundaries? With your friends? With your family? A married couple may impose limits on their collective spending. A group of friends may impose limits regarding who hits on who in a bar. Family members may impose limits on which house of the room they have dinner. Relationships exist in understandings, any psychologist can say that.

You're essentially saying that in the human sphere, there are no skills in learning to relate with others. If so, then I guess I can punch people in the mall and get away with it, eh?

 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,223 posts, read 25,772,223 times
Reputation: 24106
How do you get people to get the hell out of your business?

You become a "Hermit!"
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:26 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,412,967 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
^Is your life an open book? Do you like having people watch everything you do? It's bad enough when you invite ONE person into your life to put you under the microscope, it's worse when it's people you have not invited to do so.

Who needs micromanagers?
I have a right to privacy. I don't expect to tell my family everything I do.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,695,599 times
Reputation: 8682
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
All rights hold a rational basis. I have no right to my neighbour's wife.
I think you're venturing now into religion and morality - a totally different topic, to be sure.

Quote:
I disagree. There are limits in all things. In friends, family and especially lovers. Are you saying with your SO, there are no boundaries? With your friends? With your family? A married couple may impose limits on their collective spending. A group of friends may impose limits regarding who hits on who in a bar. Family members may impose limits on which house of the room they have dinner. Relationships exist in understandings, any psychologist can say that.
Heh - yes, any pshrink can say that.

That doesn't make it true.

The only real limits that exist are those we place upon ourselves. All others are placed there by societal conditioning. With my SO, for example - who am I to place limits upon what she can do? If she truly loves me, she'll do the right thing, without my coaching. Ditto for my own actions. Again, theory and reality, but it's a goal to shoot for.

Lose the limits and you free yourself.

Quote:
You're essentially saying that in the human sphere, there are no skills in learning to relate with others. If so, then I guess I can punch people in the mall and get away with it, eh?
If I could only convince you of how many, many times I've seen that very thing happen...

I'm not quite sure I follow "there are no skills in learning to relate to others". Do you mean there is no advantage in it? No benefit? If so, then it all depends upon your level of interaction with people.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,695,599 times
Reputation: 8682
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
How do you get people to get the hell out of your business?

You become a "Hermit!"
HUZZAH!!!
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:43 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,412,967 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
I think you're venturing now into religion and morality - a totally different topic, to be sure.
I am not venturing into religion.
Quote:
Heh - yes, any pshrink can say that.

That doesn't make it true.
Is your point true?
Quote:
The only real limits that exist are those we place upon ourselves. All others are placed there by societal conditioning. With my SO, for example - who am I to place limits upon what she can do? If she truly loves me, she'll do the right thing, without my coaching. Ditto for my own actions. Again, theory and reality, but it's a goal to shoot for.
In relationships, there are accepted boundaries of interaction. This is not contention. Is there are reasoned basis for your points, other than "just because"?
Quote:
Lose the limits and you free yourself.

If I could only convince you of how many, many times I've seen that very thing happen...
This seldom occurs. I have never seen it happen.
Quote:
I'm not quite sure I follow "there are no skills in learning to relate to others". Do you mean there is no advantage in it? No benefit? If so, then it all depends upon your level of interaction with people.
There are skills. In most scenarios there are norms of interaction. If you cannot challenge this, then so be it.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,200 posts, read 46,850,192 times
Reputation: 11090
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
I have a right to privacy. I don't expect to tell my family everything I do.
Samston, I totally agree with you. That post was responding to the contention that people like us "have something to hide". The desire for privacy does not denote that we have "something to hide", we just have very private lives and choose not to let others into it. If we want them privy to something, we will volunteer the information. But, we PICK our friends or SOs, we do NOT pick our family members. There's a difference there.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,695,599 times
Reputation: 8682
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
I am not venturing into religion.
When you speak of not having "rights" to your neighbor's wife, I assumed it was because she was married - a religious covenant.

Quote:
Is your point true?
Which one?

Quote:
In relationships, there are accepted boundaries of interaction. This is not contention. Is there are reasoned basis for your points, other than "just because"?
Again, you're accepting society's "accepted boundaries".

Quote:
This seldom occurs. I have never seen it happen.
I've never seen an atom split either, but I know it happens.

Quote:
There are skills. In most scenarios there are norms of interaction. If you cannot challenge this, then so be it.
According to society, one of the norms of interaction is that you communicate freely and openly with your family. You're breaking the rules!
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:54 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,412,967 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by robee70 View Post
It sounds like you have deep-rooted resentment towards your family for possibly trying to control or be critical of you decisions in life.
Does anybody have to like anybody else? Who I opt to respect is my own business.
Quote:
I bet if the same questions were asked by other people in your daily life (co-workers, neighbors, etc.), you wouldn't be so upset.
Life is complex, the mind is complex and no human being is 100% consistent.
Quote:
Therefore, I think you need to take a deep breath and figure out how to change the relationship dynamic with them, if possible.
Dynamic? Why? Your point is reminiscent of the beliefs of psychologists.
 
Old 02-18-2010, 03:54 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,048 posts, read 18,417,968 times
Reputation: 37127
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
Sounds like the typical questions relatives/friends ask. They care enough to ask about what's going on in your life. As long as they are not being sarcastic or mean about it I don't see why it upsets you so.
Exactly!

Or, is it a case of ^^^???
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