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I've NEVER had friends. My only friend would be the person I was in a relationship with, a wife or girlfriend. And I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 17.
I hope you can come to view others on the forum as friends.
I know I do.
I also know what it’s like to be alone.
Never have been able to make friends easily.
Does anything else just not have any close friends?
Can anyone relate to this? Do you regret being a bit of a loner or do you enjoy the solitude?
I've been a loner all my life. I prefer one on one situations, so I may occasionally hang out with someone, but I definitely don't have any close friends. I'm ok with it because I'm not very outgoing, but it would be good to know more people for networking purposes and things like that. I have a few co-workers that I hang out with sometimes, but I don't really consider them friends. A friend to me is someone you can call up just to chat with, depend on when times get hard, etc. so I wouldn't say I have any people like that in my life aside from my family members.
jacq63 - You raise an excellent point. I, too, work with the public and get a lot of social interaction at work. It gets exhausting. Can I ask what you do for a living?
Also interesting that it does seem to be a bad thing nowadays to be a loner. And the idea that some people can't seem to do anything alone...that is a bit sad.
I'm what is now called "Client Liaison Officer" at the AIDS Council of NSW.
It used to be called front desk/switchboard chick.
We rotate the roles, so we're not always stuck on the front desk. And it's not just chicks either.
Thing is, because of the nature of the organization, a lot of clients who come in are chaotic..maybe homeless, addicted to drugs, or having a psychotic episode. Just a few of those a week is enough to make me crave a people-free zone for awhile. Mind you, the crazies make the 'normal' people look even more 'normal', ergo...a bit of a relief. But I don't normally socialize with my colleagues. I like them, but 8 hours a day is plenty to see them. And because it's so unstructured and informal a workplace, when I do socialize with them, it's like being at work anyway.
I meet loads of people at college, but they're usually about 20 years younger, (including some of the tutors), and don't tend to want a student hanging around who could be their mom. And that's fine with me.
Does anything else just not have any close friends?
I just don't have friends. I just don't really 'hang out' with people. Most people annoy the **** out of me and I don't particularly enjoy going to public places because I get crazy anxiety attacks.
I don't do much with other people.
But other times I'm really happy to have my time alone.
I removed some of the sentances, leaving this. Now let me ask you something. If this is all somebody you meet offers you, are you chomping at the bit to befriend them? Ohhh I know you threw in some other stuff, but these sentances tell the real story. If you don't generally like people, it's going to show in ways you probably aren't even aware of. That sigh you let out why people suggest you do something with them. That way you always fold your arms. The way you always get into the starter position in your seat, waiting to run away from them as soon as they look away.
I'm representin' big time for the Loners I, by nature am a solitude person. It doesn't bother me to go places/do things solo and most of my friends/family are ok with that. I have periods where I like being around friends, family and acquaintances and periods where I want to be left alone.
Actually Northside, that's a good point. My SO's family would be horrified if they thought he'd rather be alone than with them. (which he usually would). His family members pretty much don't like to be alone. In fact his mother once remarked to my mother than she didn't like being alone because she had too much time to think and she 'doesn't like to think'.
I think that's often the scary thing for many people who don't like being alone - the chance of ....introspection! *Cue incidental horror movie music*
But the downside to all this is, being a loner, 18 years old and spent half of high school in college and spent a year to your lonesome the year following. It eats away at you, you feel unappreciated, unwanted and like all other options for love and relationships is dried up.
So, I have no options in my town, everyone is either taken or fake with me, so *fingers crossed* I get that acceptance letter and never get to come back.
So here I am on another lonely valentine's day listening to Charley Pride, while none of my schoolmates know who he is, or any of his country compatriots were in these decades past. I don't care about twitter or facebook or texting or the hippest newest reality show and rather they not even exist.
When I had a crisis in my life I realized I couldn't be a loner all the time so I literally forced myself on two women I'd known for awhile who had problems bigger than my own. The friendships have been good for all of us.
When I had a crisis in my life I realized I couldn't be a loner all the time so I literally forced myself on two women I'd known for awhile who had problems bigger than my own. The friendships have been good for all of us.
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