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My husband had a major surgery a few years back and had most of his colon removed. A side effect that he has to deal w/ for life is every time he eats, right afterwards he has to go to the bathroom. And if he doesn't go, it becomes painful. While of course there are bathrooms everywhere, the issue is when he goes it's loud and kinda messy in the toilet bowl. (Sorry to be disgusting). He hates going to people's houses cuz it's embarassing. Especially since most of our friends are in apartments. But even going to someone's house, if he goes in the guest bathroom you can hear him.
The last time we went to someone's apartment, we were there about 2 hours, but at the end he was in bad shape and had to go to the bathroom. So we left and had to rush home.
This weekend the same people invited us over. We both really want to go. But am not sure to a resolution. I said we just invite them over instead.
But is this rude to do this all the time? How do we resolve this for the future? I'd hate to never be able to go to people's houses. But on the other hand, I understand how uncomfortable it can be for him.
I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties and there's really nothing you can do about your husband's physical problems. It sounds like it's really not very comfortable for him visiting friends with his condition and it seems to me that this is what's really important and needs to be considered. Perhaps you could explain the situation in a delicate manner to your friends which you could do without having to go into all of the details. I'm sure your friends would be understanding.
Just explain that your husband had major surgery and he needs to be close to a bathroom and doesn't feel comfortable at other's homes. No need to go into any graphic details...friends will understand.
I agree with the others, explain the situation to FRIENDS. Friends will understand and not make a big deal out of it so your husband won't have to suffer embarrassment. but also invite the friends to your home too.
My husband had a major surgery a few years back and had most of his colon removed. A side effect that he has to deal w/ for life is every time he eats, right afterwards he has to go to the bathroom. And if he doesn't go, it becomes painful. While of course there are bathrooms everywhere, the issue is when he goes it's loud and kinda messy in the toilet bowl. (Sorry to be disgusting). He hates going to people's houses cuz it's embarassing. Especially since most of our friends are in apartments. But even going to someone's house, if he goes in the guest bathroom you can hear him.
The last time we went to someone's apartment, we were there about 2 hours, but at the end he was in bad shape and had to go to the bathroom. So we left and had to rush home.
This weekend the same people invited us over. We both really want to go. But am not sure to a resolution. I said we just invite them over instead.
But is this rude to do this all the time? How do we resolve this for the future? I'd hate to never be able to go to people's houses. But on the other hand, I understand how uncomfortable it can be for him.
Wow, that's tough. I'd say get together with people at their places, just not for meals. Get together to play cards or watch a football game - have him eat well before you go or wait until you go home.
When meals are involved have people over to your place - a simple explanation to them about his situation (though less graphic than the one above please, lol) will help them to understand I'm sure.
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