When people assume to know what you REALLY mean - Paranoia. (personality, abuse)

[stan4]

Dude, this drives me nuts.

People are so used to being two-faced, they don't get it if you are always straightforward and just say what you mean and mean what you say.

[PassTheChocolate]

My sister is really a good, sweet woman. But she takes things too personally. In this case it was one thought that "explained" something else, 2 and 2 became 7 and it became a trainwreck in her mind. She may as well have told me I was a polka dotted chihuahua, it would have been just as accurate. It's these moments where you sit there wondering where all this came from. Jaw unhinged, deer-in-the-headlight, somebody pinch me.

[samston]

IMO, it depends on a number of things:

- the other person may be insecure, or has issues resulting from past negative experiences.

- the other person has naturally suspicious, or is highly intuitive.

- the other person simply is expressing how they uniquely react to situations, which in itself may not represent a pathology or illness like paranoia.

OP, i'm not saying your sister has these things, but I think they may be common causes to make persons presume one's intentions without any good substantiation.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

She may as well have told me I was a polka dotted chihuahua

That sounds like an awfully cool idea! Ever considered becoming one...?

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by samston

IMO, it depends on a number of things:

- the other person may be insecure, or has issues resulting from past negative experiences.

- the other person has naturally suspicious, or is highly intuitive.

- the other person simply is expressing how they uniquely react to situations, which in itself may not represent a pathology or illness like paranoia.

OP, i'm not saying your sister has these things, but I think they may be common causes to make persons presume one's intentions without any good substantiation.

I'm fine with highly intuitive. The polka dotted chihuahua - not so much.

She is insecure. Still annoys me when anyone does it, for any reason.

[mrstewart]

I usually find that the folks who are most suspicious are the ones who have guilty consciences.

[nebulous1]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

I'm having a bit of a challenge with my little sister. It seems she has had the impression that I was avoiding her and some of the family, claims I had a distant tone with her about a year ago, that it rubbed off on my son and there was something going on that we have been hiding from everyone. I have absolutely NO idea what she is talking about, but she seems to have let her imagination run wild and now the family thinks there is some big secret I have been keeping. I have no energy for my family's incessant need for drama, but it is an annoying habit that many people have.

How many of you have heard these:

"I thought you didn't like me." when you have never even MET the person before.

"I thought you were mad at me." when there was never a problem.

"You didn't seem too excited, so I figured you didn't want me there." I wouldn't invite people I DON'T want to be there.

"You said (one thing) but I know you really meant (something else)."
Now you're calling me a liar.

Nails on a chalkboard.

Just had to vent.

Sounds like my older sister, I have dealt with this for a lifetime.
I am always mean, being malicious, selfish, you name it.
I can't take it anymore.

[nebulous1]

Originally Posted by stan4

Dude, this drives me nuts.

People are so used to being two-faced, they don't get it if you are always straightforward and just say what you mean and mean what you say.

You are so correct. I am very direct. And when I am direct, I get this "Well, you really mean this..." or "The real reason is because..."

I say, "No, I meant what I said."

Then they get mad. I say, "What is so hard to get? Why do you complicate it?"

[nebulous1]

Originally Posted by mrstewart

I usually find that the folks who are most suspicious are the ones who have guilty consciences.

My family always enabled my sister's aggression.

When I got married, she was horrible. They felt sorry for her, because I was getting married and she wasn't, so they excused her constant sniping at me.

I asked her what the heck was going on, why she was always so mad at me, and she said, quite snippy, "I...just...don't....like...you."

Yet, my family says we don't get along. Go figure. I just avoid her now. There is no pleasing her, and anything I do is wrong.

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by nebulous1

My family always enabled my sister's aggression.

When I got married, she was horrible. They felt sorry for her, because I was getting married and she wasn't, so they excused her constant sniping at me.

I asked her what the heck was going on, why she was always so mad at me, and she said, quite snippy, "I...just...don't....like...you."

Yet, my family says we don't get along. Go figure. I just avoid her now. There is no pleasing her, and anything I do is wrong.

That sounds terrible!

When I have encountered someone who is constantly questioning motives, feelings I usually get the feeling that 1) the person is insecure or 2) behaves in the manner I am being accused so they assume others have the same behavior patterns.

Sorry you have such a strained relationship with your sister.