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Thank you everyone for the input! I apologize for taking a while to respond back, things got busy in my job. Well I never had the thought of having kids until I met my current gf, but never before that, so is that a more specific sign likely?
Or if you never thought about when single, thinking about it after falling in love with your gf, doesn't mean anything?
I think it might mean that your heart as expanded. This, coupled w/ your age, societal expectations of couples likely you brought you to this present state. I would explore your possible desire to have children, not a decision. What is it that you specifically think about in relation to having a child?
If you aren't willing to marry, are you ready for a child?
IDK if that's actually in play necessarily, because people are "unwilling" to marry for a variety of reasons, some of which aren't related to commitment or stability. Marriages are, after all, legally easy to unravel and IMO breaking up a LTR, married or not, carries the same huge emotional burden, so I don't see it as any sort of predictor of the probability of a "broken home" down the road.
But I think there are concrete social disadvantages for children whose parents aren't married, and you have to rationally assess whether you want to burden your child with those, or yourselves for that matter. One of those disadvantages is people judging the child or its parents for not being legally married, a common snap judgment that people who do not marry are of lower social status or uncouth, etc. These problems would be far worse in conservative parts of the Bible Belt for example, than in, say, the NE US.
OP, do you have any nieces/nephews, and if so, do you spend much time with them? I think if you have an opportunity to spend time with kids in your family, and don't take that opportunity, I would believe you don't want kids.
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