Okay to wear a dress shirt and tie, but no suit, at a funeral? (father, funerals)

[villageidiot1]

Originally Posted by kitty61

Show proper respect by dressing up in your Sunday best, even if you have to rent it. If you don't have the clothes to go, don't go. But plan on getting a suit some day soon, cause there's going to be a lot more people in your life dying the older you get.

I used to always wear a suit to a funeral because that was how I dressed everyday at work. I was always in the minority. It seems fewer and fewer men are wearing suits to funerals. I think dress slacks leather shoes, and a dress shirt are appropriate. I only wear a tie with a suit.

[Riley.]

I think a dress shirt and slacks with nice shoes are perfectly fine for a funeral. Tie optional. It's always a good idea to dress respectfully for a funeral, yes, even in Florida.
Sometimes the family will indicate a preference, as with the last funeral I attended. They asked people to dress comfortably. Most were wearing business casual.

[NDak15]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I live in America, and it seems the attire for males for a viewing and/or funeral here and most countries calls for a dark suit and a conservative tie.

I can't fit into my suit, and don't have funds for a new one (plus the time it would take for tailoring).

Is it okay to show up for a viewing and/or the funeral in just dark dress pants, black dress shoes, long-sleeve white dress shirt and a maroon or dark plain tie, but not a suit?

It's more important to show up even if not in a suit, as long as a tie and dress clothes?

You'll be fine.

[Wittgenstein's Ghost]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I live in America, and it seems the attire for males for a viewing and/or funeral here and most countries calls for a dark suit and a conservative tie.

I can't fit into my suit, and don't have funds for a new one (plus the time it would take for tailoring).

Is it okay to show up for a viewing and/or the funeral in just dark dress pants, black dress shoes, long-sleeve white dress shirt and a maroon or dark plain tie, but not a suit?

It's more important to show up even if not in a suit, as long as a tie and dress clothes?

This is funeral attire as depicted in movies, not funeral attire as worn by actual people. 90% of men at funerals are not in a suit.

[urbancuriosity]

In Southern California, I would generally wear slacks and a pressed shirt with a jacket. I would only wear a suit if I were a pall bearer.

[nuts2uiam]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I live in America, and it seems the attire for males for a viewing and/or funeral here and most countries calls for a dark suit and a conservative tie.

I can't fit into my suit, and don't have funds for a new one (plus the time it would take for tailoring).

Is it okay to show up for a viewing and/or the funeral in just dark dress pants, black dress shoes, long-sleeve white dress shirt and a maroon or dark plain tie, but not a suit?

It's more important to show up even if not in a suit, as long as a tie and dress clothes?

I lost my grandmother in the late 80's. She was well known in the neighborhood. We were in our early 30's and most of the kids I grew up with had moved - many not too far away. One such person, became a local high school gym teacher who was also the basketball coach. They had a game that night. He took a quick run into the funeral home to pay his respects in his gym teacher attire, (I would describe them as "dress sweats" as opposed to typical sweats and his school windbreaker type jacket.) My mom was blown away that he would take the time to stop in to pay his respects - she was so appreciative. His mom, who was still a neighbor of my mom's, carried on and was embarrassed and apologized. After the funeral she was still carrying on about it. My mom said four things to her and til this day I hear her saying it.

"Listen to me and hear what I am going to say"

1) I was touched that Peter would take time to stop in and pay his respects to a woman over 50 years older
than he.
2) I was touched that Peter would think that much of me, that he would pay his respects to my mother.
3) Years from now, I will remember the kindness of that gesture and not what he was wearing.
4) Some day you will be in my position and see if it matters to you then and we can talk about then.

I learned a lot about how to view things like this that day. Fast forward, I was having dinner at a pub with my husband and we had not heard that someone I had worked with many years previously had passed away. The viewing was that night only. We finished dinner and in jeans and tee shirt ran over to the wake. I wanted to see her family and express my condolences and if I had gone home to change we would have missed the calling hours. Her family was so appreciative and they didn't care either.

[twinkletwinkle22]

I remember the funeral of a local Catholic parish priest in South Philly. He died at 81, had served there for decades. One family came in dressed in swim suits and shorts, there was no beach or pool for many miles. I didn't see anyone finding fault.

[joe from dayton]

You will look fine. I see adults showing up in shorts and t-shirts.

[dr.strangelove]

Originally Posted by bostonguy1960

I live in America, and it seems the attire for males for a viewing and/or funeral here and most countries calls for a dark suit and a conservative tie.

I can't fit into my suit, and don't have funds for a new one (plus the time it would take for tailoring).

Is it okay to show up for a viewing and/or the funeral in just dark dress pants, black dress shoes, long-sleeve white dress shirt and a maroon or dark plain tie, but not a suit?

It's more important to show up even if not in a suit, as long as a tie and dress clothes?

I've worn jeans and t-shirts to funerals. I could care less what anyone thinks other than the closest family members of whom I am there to see, and any funeral I would go to, these people would be warmed by whatever I wore.

[Hemlock140]

Originally Posted by sweetana3

Every funeral I have attended were fine with any business casual clothes. It does not seem that black attire is required even of the family. Note: I love this and would be fine with any clean clothes at my funeral.

My husband would not go if they required a suit.

Neither would I. Maybe for a really formal wedding, but not for a funeral. Business casual is fine, just avoid bright colors like a red shirt. It's not like the deceased will care, and the family should just appreciate that you bothered to show up.