Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess I never gave a gift without 'strings attached.' Yes, I'm a 'selfish creep' for expecting a 'thank you.'
In this day and age, anything a man does regarding a woman is a "He must be out to get her, show her up or want something more." Or, because you have disposable income and are doing well financially, you're 'flashing cash' to be a big shot.
Deleted
You have a good heart and did nothing wrong. She was wrong for her refusal to graciously accept a gift with a simple 'thank you.'
If it REALLY made her uncomfortable, she wouldn't have accepted it and sent/gave it back.
As a naturally caring person, I'm learning as I'm aging that no good deed goes unpunished and don't be too nice to certain people (which means most).
In my opinion, as simple thank you with kindness should have been acted on. We know there are "no strings attached" and true gift is a gift. However, most people want to be recognized in a simple manner for what they do. Maybe she is clueless what it comes to this stuff but I think it's a bit rude actually how this person didn't even make note of it. Those who are saying, you shouldn't expect anything, I don't agree. Whenever someone gives me gifts, I'm sure to thank them.
Last edited by Educator1982; 04-17-2022 at 12:19 PM..
I'm with the OP on this one. No matter what his motivations were and no matter if she wanted a new computer or not, there is no excuse for not saying a simple "thank you".
also giving those type of "gifts" is often a back-handed insult.
a family member when they visit "offers to pay for" a car wash and detail for my vehicle. i decline every time because what they are saying is my vehicle is not up to their standards. another family member offered to "pay for a maid" to come in regularly and clean my place "because of my age" when she visited. so taking a dig at my age, my home, my income. those are "gifts" that are insults. Like the OP, she uses her wealth as a means of lording it over others.
without regard to and totally unaware of how this comes across and how they look down on others
I agree all of this. It strikes me that OP's pride has been bruised and feelings are hurt, thus this seemingly over reaction...like he was embarrassed.
It was interesting to see the responses from those who equate a simple "thank you" with my expecting something in return. They are apologists for bad behavior. "Something" would be a gift in return or a favor. A "thank you" is common courtesy - not a "something." She was rude. As I don't do business with rude people I ended the business relationship.
It is something. It is gratitude and many people feel good about themselves when other people acknowledge their good deeds. It's an ego boost.
You can not equate my response to being an apologist for bad behavior because I continually stressed that it was wrong for her to act the way that she did. Well, you could but you would be incorrect in your evaluation. Apologists for say, climate change, would not state in a discussion, "Climate change is not true".
I am sorry you do not see that wanting a thank you from someone is something, but the majority of the people out there based on the responses you have received here on this board, see it as definitely something. As I said, public acknowledgement of a kindness done is a method of boosting one's ego. You may not understand it as such, but that is in fact what is going on.
Sure. The OP is throwing his wealth and weight around to show off and expects the recipient of this display to show gratitude. To grovel at the feet of his great generosity.
This is a professional/business relationship, or should be, he's turned it personal. He's gone beyond appropriate boundaries. Any ethical self respecting tutor/instructor or whatever, would be glad to get rid of him.
I saw this and I'd like to post it. It says it all:
"There’s a difference between etiquette and giving a gift freely.
Etiquette demands a thank you from the recipient. A person who does not thank the giver for a gift is showing a lack of common courtesy.
I am with you on this. It is odd she lacks the manners to say, "thank you".
I would have definitely felt the same way as you. I have realized in life that people who lack manners have no clue they are being rude.
I would have reacted the same way as you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
