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Driving home I was mulling over the experience and thinking about how I allowed my inner voice to attack me and say so many cruel things to me….things I would never say to another person. I wondered why I wasn’t praising myself for the effort I made in class and all last week. It made me think about one of the conversations I’d had at fitness camp last week. A woman said she gave her critical inner voice a name and everytime “Marilyn” began a mean inner dialogue, she’d talk back to her. So today, I named my nasty inner voice. The name I came up with was Julia….wow, my older sister’s name. And a lightbulb went off. I loved my (now deceased) sister very much. But she was very critical of me growing up. My mother always told me she was jealous…..but I adored her and accepted her criticisms not realizing until today that in some ways she scarred my soul.
Have you named your mean inner voice? Have you learned how to tame her cruel remarks?
It sounds to me like you're on the road to recovery. Just don't use Julia as a scapegoat for other things in your life, that could be negative for you. You are using it to help build. This is healthy.
Lastly, keep making the effort to improve your life. It's good for you!
Yes! It sounds like Toby Keith with constant repeats of "When your body says, "You can't do this, woman!"......but your pride says, "Yes, you can!".
While I am constantly raked over the coals of all the things I miss, the places I don't go, in my new Goddessless, non after burner body, it is clicking on, somewhere there in the background.
When my self disparaging come out it isn't honest at all. It's brow beating nit picking petty stuff. Screaming at myself because I spilled a glass of water or broke a plate or forget to put the raw food away and it thawed and had to be thrown away. Nothing honest in that at all. Calling myself terrible names. I am not ANY of those things I call myself sometimes.
No, nothing honest about it. This thread has given me an idea of a new avenue for healing and I am grateful to WorldKlas for starting it. I've already started practicing. Not that I've had occasion to brow beat myself today, but every time I'm in the bathroom I stop tolook in the mirror, affirming who I really am to myself again, this will help build that habit so the next time I start on myself, I hopefully will remember to run to the mirror instead.
Wow! I hope you really work this out with what you're doing. You need to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier on yourself.
Glass of water spilled? It's okay. It happens. We're humans.
Broke a plate? Yeah, if you like them, it sucks, but it's okay. It happens. We're humans.
Forgot to put the raw meat back in fridge? Man....now I have to go spend more money. Oh well. It's okay. It happens. We're humans.
catsmom - it's okay to make mistakes. It doesn't make you less. Keep looking in that mirror and telling yourself that.
Never named my mean inner voice. But I recently decided to stop listening to it. My faults are my faults. I do my best, but I’m bound to mess up sometimes, or be stupid. It is what is.
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