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The situation that the OP is talking about though isn't complicated whatsoever. No one owes anyone money that was borrowed, they didn't get into business together, etc. Those are much more complicated issues.
If a "best" friend can't even buy a $1-5 item even just ONE TIME from his, "best" friend's store, then I'd have to rethink the friendship because I'm sure throughout the years of them being friends, they've been through a whole LOT more than that...talked about women, hung out, talked out life, hopes, dreams, goals, fears, etc. BEST friends usually go through a LOT together & I'm not just talking about bad times. Hopefully, it's mostly GOOD times, but the history of the friendship is there is the main point I'm making...so, that brings me back to saying...
for some unknown reason, he can't buy a $1-5 item just ONE TIME?!
Yes, when I word it that way, it sounds pretty simple & pitiful...so why can't the friend do it?
The OP shouldn't even have to ask, the friend should WANT to do it.
How silly. What is this need people have to control their friends? No wonder people have so much trouble keeping friendships.
OP, is it possible that you and your friend are from different cultures? Maybe the 2 of you have different cultural expectations, each of you not understanding where the other is coming from.
Have you ever seen the State Farm Insurance commercial, where Jake, the State Farm agent goes into the butcher shop to buy some meat, and Mia, the owner of the butcher shop PILES on the meat for Jake, thinking that Jake has gone above and beyond in offering amazing discounts. But in fact, Jake has just been doing his job, and has NOT treated Mia any different than he'd treat any client.
Jake's and Mia's expectations are VERY different in this situation. Maybe you and your friend's expectations are very different.
One time, when I was a young teenager, I was asked to babysit for a young couple's toddler. The man of the household was Arab, his wife was American. When I arrived at their place to babysit, the man of the household showed me a chocolate cake, and told me I should feel free to eat as much cake as I wanted to. I thanked him. The thing is, I'm not a big fan of chocolate cake. I'm just not.
When they came back, and he saw that I had not eaten ANY of the cake, he was upset. Visibly upset. I felt like I was being interrogated, and clearly I had messed up. I was like...15 or 16 at the time.
Now, when I look back on that, I THINK he was offering me hospitality, and in my 15 or 16 yr. old ignorance, I didn't realize that. I think the interrogation was HIM trying to understand the mix up, or my slight, or whatever.
Anyway, all that to say, maybe you two just aren't understanding the motive of the other.
I think you are way off about this.
Money no matter how meager can ruin a friendship.
We ran a device business for a long time.
I hated having friends and family as customers to the point that I would do or have the service done for free or I would recommend another company.
It just seems weird taking or giving money to friends.
Do you really need the money that bad ?
Wouldn’t you rather have the friend?
How silly. What is this need people have to control their friends? No wonder people have so much trouble keeping friendships.
Too many rules.
Agree. The more nitpicky rules you impose on the people around you the more likely they'll run afoul of one of them, intentional or not. At some point they'll decide you're too high maintenance and simply not worth the effort. The longer I spend walking around on this planet the more value I find in the K.I.S.S. approach to life. I also find that Occam's Razor helps me avoid paranoid mental rabbit trails. I prefer not to waste my time concocting elaborate conspiracy theories about my friends.
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-21-2021 at 02:17 PM..
You don't sound like much of a friend yourself. Your friend has his reasons for shopping how he does - several posters have indicated legitimate ones that may explain why he shops where he does. It's really not your business, and the fact that you don't think he gave you an "accurate answer" indicates he was uncomfortable with you prying - for that's what you were doing - and thought his reasons might bother you.
No. The friend may have reasons, and those reasons are not necessarily your business. Maybe he's not completely forthcoming about those reasons because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling the truth. This does not make him a bad friend. That's a pretty big expectation to put on a person: "if you're my friend, you will shop at my parents' store and no one else's!"
If everything else is going well with this friendship, if the friend is a good one otherwise, enjoy the friendship. Take a look around at this forum at how many people wish they could make new friends. Accept his shopping choices, forgive, and move on.
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