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OP has a number of posts along the line "I know something" and seems to be discussing the something with everyone.
She opted not to report what she refers to as rape but shared it with friends. Who knows what a judge would have said.
Lack of other drama so let's have a jab at the wife.
If the “mutual friends” know it happened and our still friends with him, why would you think that they will do anything to support you? Concentrate on getting yourself to a good spot in your life and leave the wife alone.
Exactly! I would have a hard time being friends with someone who knew this happened and continues their friendship with the rapist.
To answer your question of would I want to know if my husband was a rapist? Yes I would, but that doesn't mean she would believe you. Her reality and your reality of the same man are probably vastly different.
Plotting revenge could hurt innocent people too so not a good idea. I'd stay away from the wife's social media. It is invoking deeper and deeper long felt wounds in you.I know it doesn't seem fair but you are alive and suffering.This is best dealt with in therapy and take it from there. Also there are organizations that help victims of sexual assault and domestic violence you might benefit from.
Like me, you decided not to persue criminal charges at the time but I regret it because he and his wife were in the foster parents program so he had plenty of victims in his own home. No wonder those foster kids kept running away!
I called my police department recently and they told me I can come in and fill out a report and register a complaint. I didn't know it until recently but there is no statute of limitations for sexual abuse in my country, Canada.
My sexual assaults were in 1968 so the perp is probably dead by now.
I was raped by a guy when I was a teenager. I never reported it to the police because I was a teenager and I didn’t want it known,
Would you want to know if your spouse committed a disgusting act or is ignorance bliss?
Here's what I see.
A crime which you didn't report, happened. You said nothing, you kept it bottled up.
Then you find out that the "Rapist" is married and has a wife, then you come on the scene and say "Hey, your dear hubby raped me years ago. How do you feel now?"
The wife would be within her right to call you a liar. Even if her husband denies it, what proof do you have?
I suggest counseling. I mean it, if this has gone this long the amount of bitterness is affecting your life. Hence the signature of your name.
I was raped by a guy when I was a teenager. I never reported it to the police because I was a teenager and I didn’t want it known, which as I have learned is a very natural reaction. To this day the site of him disgusts me, but his wife posting on social media bothers me as well. I always want to ask her is she knows she is married to a rapist. I always stop myself but I always think, I would want to know if I was married to a disgusting pig that was capable of raping another individual. She disgusts me almost as much as he does. Who can love, marry and procreate with someone like that? But I doubt he ever told her. So maybe she was just so insecure that’s all she thought she could attract. He definitely had some quirks that would make normal people avoid him like the plague.
Would you want to know if your spouse committed a disgusting act or is ignorance bliss?
It sounds like you want to hurt the wife so she will feel the pain you felt or maybe even still feel. That is not right. You need to to seek help ASAP, and forgot about those people. No offense, but he's not the only one with "quirks" at this point. I suggest getting off the internet completely and seeking a new lifestyle altogether. I say this with all sincerity, and I'm not mocking your situation or trying to diminish what happened to you. Being on the internet is feeding your poor emotional state, and you need to eliminate it at least for a time period.
I was raped by a guy when I was a teenager. I never reported it to the police
Would you want to know if your spouse committed a disgusting act or is ignorance bliss?
This is a terrible thing that happened to you, and it is irrelevant that his spouse does not know this. It is also important that you not tell anyone now, not to protect him, but to protect you from legal action for defamation from him.
Because you did not report it at the time, and because there has been no police or court action against him you have no evidence that he raped you. If you say anything to anyone now and it gets back to him, he could sue you for damaging his reputation. Your only defense is truth, but because there is no evidence now, that defense would fail and he could be awarded a large sum of money that the courts would force you to pay.
Get some counseling for the hurt he caused you and the vast injustice he has caused you, then start to enjoy your life without him haunting you any more.
I wouldn’t say that at all. I think I would like to know if a man I am married to is a rapist. I don’t blame her at all. I almost feel sorry for her that she has probably lived with him two decades without knowing he is despicable. If she was me, I would want to know.
I certainly don’t seek out knowing about them. But I also won’t hide or not socialize with people I have known all my life, just because they may post a photo of a rapist on their social media, which happens to show in my news feed.
You aren't her and apparently you are still thinking about this or you wouldn't have started a thread about it. Get help for these unresolved feelings.
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