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"An enemy is one who has hurt your ego and a friend is one who has fed it, nourished it. That is why in time of need you know who your friends are: A friend in need is a friend indeed. What is this need? The need comes when your ego is starving. Then you know who your friends are."
It's happened. A friend became an enemy. Why? And an enemy became a friend. Why?
A friend of mine has been preaching to the choir with me for years: You just can't have enough friends! And I continue to limit myself to a few really good friends.
"An enemy is one who has hurt your ego and a friend is one who has fed it, nourished it. That is why in time of need you know who your friends are: A friend in need is a friend indeed. What is this need? The need comes when your ego is starving. Then you know who your friends are."
It's happened. A friend became an enemy. Why? And an enemy became a friend. Why?
A friend of mine has been preaching to the choir with me for years: You just can't have enough friends! And I continue to limit myself to a few really good friends.
I can't speak to what happened between you and your former friend, without more detail but IMO that quote is extremely cynical and not by any means a full (or even useful) description of real friendship.
I can't speak to what happened between you and your former friend, without more detail but IMO that quote is extremely cynical and not by any means a full (or even useful) description of real friendship.
Agree. A true friend (you know, that one "in need") does a lot more than feed an ego. They willingly step IN when real life has stepped ON.
Last edited by Parnassia; 08-16-2019 at 11:15 AM..
I have one really good friend, but he lives 250 miles away. We communicate at times, but not often. One thing I do know is that he would be there if I needed him and vice-versa.
The rest of the people I know aren't friends, just acquaintances. My wife and I are pretty insulated. We prefer it that way.
I'm 69YO and I have had a friend from childhood, who's about the same age, we've done foreign travel together, have continued friendship, each from different parts of the country, but she's gotten completely smitten with Trump the last few years, and thinks of him as a god. So when the subject comes up, in a telephone conversation, I just let her ramble on, and I'm too afraid to confront her. Would it be worth it to confront her, realizing one day she'll see the light, have her ego destroyed (a bruised ego is harder to heal than a physical injury) and all will pass.
I'm never impressed with the people who say they have lots of friends. They really don't know the dictionary term. A neighbor and his girlfriend just took off on a cross-country trip, and? I've got friends scattered all over the country, we won't even need motel rooms.
I'm 69YO and I have had a friend from childhood, who's about the same age, we've done foreign travel together, have continued friendship, each from different parts of the country, but she's gotten completely smitten with Trump the last few years, and thinks of him as a god. So when the subject comes up, in a telephone conversation, I just let her ramble on, and I'm too afraid to confront her.
Why afraid? Just because you don't agree with her views doesn't mean you need to be afraid of her. She wants to talk, not listen to you. Let her. Don't engage. Don't get drawn into a debate. Become less available for the lectures. You are the one deciding to be victimized. She isn't a threat if you don't permit her to change your mind. Are you afraid because you aren't sure of your own view?
Would it be worth it to confront her, realizing one day she'll see the light, have her ego destroyed (a bruised ego is harder to heal than a physical injury) and all will pass.
Well, decide what your goal is here. Convert her, disarm her, or hurt her? See what "light"? She's entitled to her views just as you are to yours. You probably aren't going to change her opinion, so let 'er rip and ignore it. Or, neutralize her by changing the subject...every time she starts in on the topic. Again, if what she wants is to raise her audience's hackles with a diatribe about some ridiculous politician she'll find another audience if you won't cooperate.
Agree. A true friend (you know, that one "in need") does a lot more than feed an ego. They willingly step IN when real life has stepped ON.
I discovered who my true friends were when I developed Stage IV cancer (at the same time that my husband had dementia and a traumatic brain injury). In several cases, people who I thought were just "casual friends" really, really stepped up to help me/him. We are much closer now.
OTOH, a few people who I thought that I could count on totally disappeared.
I treasure my friendships but accept that as time marches pn people change, grow, relocate, etc. so I do my best to appreciate them while they are in my life and accept that many will not always be.
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