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Do you have access to resources or assistance that would allow you to see a therapist who could help you communicate more effectively with your parents to change the current dynamic? You need to get some guidance on establishing and maintaining boundaries, for one thing.
Your mom is way too anal & I'm sure it's a frustration living w/ someone like that. I hope you're out of the house as much as possible. Is your dad still around? What does he say?
So, I was outside watering, some young ladies were walking and waved to me and I waved back. After I go inside, my mom was wondering who I was waving to and if it was some young girls. She says "If you smile at any girl in this neighborhood you are going to catch the nasties." then keeps going on a lecture for 20 minutes explaining that I am almost 30 and no longer 18-19 years old. Then says she will tell on me to my girlfriend (lol she can't, she doesn't even have her number.")
Was that really needed? she acted like what I did was a crime.
Some very nice young ladies walk and run by my place every day, exchanging smiles and waves with me and I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Actually, there's some nice not-so-young ladies coming by, who exchange greetings with me regularly. Watering my plants and trees in the evening, has become a sort of social event. There are several dog-walkers whose pooches lavish me with affection, as though I was a family member.
And in fact, if you keep yourself in top condition and have a respectful and friendly attitude, you're never too old to gain nice responses from women of all ages.
Advice to the OP: Keep that separation between your girlfriend and mother or you will regret it.
Last edited by Steve McDonald; 05-07-2019 at 06:10 PM..
Your mom is way too anal & I'm sure it's a frustration living w/ someone like that. I hope you're out of the house as much as possible. Is your dad still around? What does he say?
I mean, there are times where she can be anal but there are also times where she can be really sweet. She is going through a lot of medical problems at the moment and gets really depressed from her condition. So I tolerate a lot of things from her simply because she just doesn't feel good.
My dad doesn't really try to get involved with things involved between me and my mom. I don't go to him a lot of times because he can be very stubborn and just oblivious. He is nice but it is really hard to describe his personality.
My brother who is older then me lives with us and his wife and 2 children.
So, I was outside watering, some young ladies were walking and waved to me and I waved back. After I go inside, my mom was wondering who I was waving to and if it was some young girls. She says "If you smile at any girl in this neighborhood you are going to catch the nasties." then keeps going on a lecture for 20 minutes explaining that I am almost 30 and no longer 18-19 years old. Then says she will tell on me to my girlfriend (lol she can't, she doesn't even have her number.")
Was that really needed? she acted like what I did was a crime.
Tell her you were just being neighborly, and it would have been rude to ignore their friendly gesture.
My gawd. I can't believe she said what she said. And to a 30-year-old, at that. Talking "cooties" to a 30-yr-old.
Tell her you were just being neighborly, and it would have been rude to ignore their friendly gesture.
My gawd. I can't believe she said what she said. And to a 30-year-old, at that. Talking "cooties" to a 30-yr-old.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LandscapeAritst
Think she was referring to STDs. I am just going to try to be out of the house a lot more then I am right now.
On this forum, I guess we should be accustomed to hearing just about anything. But for your mother turning a friendly smile and wave into the possibility of catching a venereal disease, is the prize-winner for the week.
But your mom really needs to drop the fear tactics though when she's trying to warn or advise you and teach you about protecting yourself, and she should try to reason with you on a practical, non-emotional and more adult level. But your mom might also be handicapped in that department too so you may just have to be patient with her.
How old were those young women who smiled and waved at you? Were they teenage girls or were they young women in their 20's or older? I'm betting that fears about their age and their motives was the very first thing that went through your mom's mind when you told her who it was you were waving at. I'm also betting that you aren't really good at judging the ages of people who are younger than you either so she's probably worried about you getting inappropriately friendly with young girls.
So, I was outside watering, some young ladies were walking and waved to me and I waved back. After I go inside, my mom was wondering who I was waving to and if it was some young girls. She says "If you smile at any girl in this neighborhood you are going to catch the nasties." then keeps going on a lecture for 20 minutes explaining that I am almost 30 and no longer 18-19 years old. Then says she will tell on me to my girlfriend (lol she can't, she doesn't even have her number.")
Was that really needed? she acted like what I did was a crime.
Tell your mom that you did nothing wrong. It's nice to have your neighbours to smile with you and wave at you and say hi, how are you? And you do the same back.
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