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I'll tell a sad story, to put OP's feelings in perspective.
When I was getting married to my second husband, there were 2 couples I invited, that I considered good friends. As the date was getting closer and closer, neither of them RSVP'd me, so I called them. One couple, I never was able to talk to them personally, but I left a voicemail, asking if they were planning on coming, and could they let me know. Never heard a peep from them.
The other couple, I WAS able to contact them and I asked if they planned to come. They said yes, and I conveyed how much I was looking forward to seeing them. I counted them as "yeses" for the reception dinner.
They didn't come.
A few years go by, and I sign up for Facebook. One of the first persons who asks to be friends is the wife of the couple who said they'd come to my wedding. I accept the friend request, and I asked her what happened...I was looking forward to seeing them at my wedding.
And this is what she wrote back, and I quote; "Oh...we got busy, and the day just got away from us."
Earlier, I had dinner with some friends I've been trying to get together for weeks. (Everyone's been sick, so it's been tough to find a good night.) We all agreed via email three days earlier about the where and when. Unfortunately, one person had to cancel last minute, but four of us met and had a nice time, but one thing caught my attention and rubbed me the wrong way.
At one point, one guy (who was there with his girlfriend) mentioned the absent friend who had texted everyone her regrets earlier. He claimed, very casually, that until that moment, "we totally forgot about this." Apparently, if not for that text they'd have gone to the girlfriend's house to eat with a house guest.
What the heck? How do you make plans for three days later and totally forget about it? And why on earth would you casually admit this to your friends? I'd be ashamed of myself.
I know some will suggest that these people "aren't really my friends," but we always have an enjoyable time when we meet and they always seem interested in my life and very grateful for my invites, so I don't think that's it. I just don't get people sometimes.
The problem is that too many people nowadays use their phones to keep them in check which I think is sad.The old fashioned calendar where you can hang it up on your wall and mark dates that are important is the best way to go in my opinion.I really don't see how one could forget if you had sent them an e-mail a few days prior BUT I tell you, have a calendar with a date marked so you will not forget works every time.
Also I'm sure if I'm not mistaken,,,one can set an alarm or something to remind you of a certain meeting or date...correct on your phone?I guess they didn't put that date in their phones to remind them later hence they forgot.
But hey these things happen but you would think what with all this technology stuff..it would happen less..
Earlier, I had dinner with some friends I've been trying to get together for weeks. (Everyone's been sick, so it's been tough to find a good night.) We all agreed via email three days earlier about the where and when. Unfortunately, one person had to cancel last minute, but four of us met and had a nice time, but one thing caught my attention and rubbed me the wrong way.
At one point, one guy (who was there with his girlfriend) mentioned the absent friend who had texted everyone her regrets earlier. He claimed, very casually, that until that moment, "we totally forgot about this." Apparently, if not for that text they'd have gone to the girlfriend's house to eat with a house guest.
What the heck? How do you make plans for three days later and totally forget about it? And why on earth would you casually admit this to your friends? I'd be ashamed of myself.
I know some will suggest that these people "aren't really my friends," but we always have an enjoyable time when we meet and they always seem interested in my life and very grateful for my invites, so I don't think that's it. I just don't get people sometimes.
Oh, lighten up. I would not have given this a second thought. I've had many cases like that where I was absolutely excited about something, only to forget it and then be reminded last minute.
The problem is that too many people nowadays use their phones to keep them in check which I think is sad.The old fashioned calendar where you can hang it up on your wall and mark dates that are important is the best way to go in my opinion.I really don't see how one could forget if you had sent them an e-mail a few days prior BUT I tell you, have a calendar with a date marked so you will not forget works every time.
The problem with the paper calendar is it's not with me when I'm away from home and making appointments and scheduling events. So I have to remember to mark it on the calendar when I get home, which kind of defeats the purpose.
I actually think it proves they do value your friendship because they still showed up. Yes, in a perfect world everyone writes down dates, appointments, meetings, etc, but sometimes they don't and people forget. It would be more of an issue if they cancelled last minute because something else came along....
I don't understand this. Don't people have calendars that they use to note down engagements, doc appointments, and other events? Or maybe they only keep their calendars online, so there's not a steady visual presence within their field of vision or on a desk? Or they don't check their online calendar daily?
WTH?!
Sometimes it's even simpler than that....I forget to look at my calendar even though it's right on the fridge at eye level. Its something I look straight at multiple times a day. You get used to something's appearance. If some event has been on it for a while I no longer "see" it unless I am searching for it. Ever wander around your house looking for something that is in plain view? Same thing. Your mind is doing something else. I may have e-calendars on the laptop (or phone if you use that), but unless I set up a "reminder" in email or by some little sound or pop up I can still forget to check the silly thing.
They probably just got overwhelmed by things in their life that demanded their immediate attention, and the memory of an engagement later on just got crowded out. It can happen to anyone.
I wouldn't read any great meaning into this one incident. Your friends owned up to nearly forgetting about their dinner engagement with you, and they showed up. It doesn't look like there was any deliberate intent to treat you cavalierly or with disrespect.
No good ever comes from seeking offense where none was offered or intended.
I can easily remember and forget things several times before the actual event! All it means is that you get distracted in the moment - and I'd never mention it to anyone or if I did, expect such a negative reaction as it would just be something funny to everyone.
Earlier, I had dinner with some friends I've been trying to get together for weeks. (Everyone's been sick, so it's been tough to find a good night.) We all agreed via email three days earlier about the where and when. Unfortunately, one person had to cancel last minute, but four of us met and had a nice time, but one thing caught my attention and rubbed me the wrong way.
At one point, one guy (who was there with his girlfriend) mentioned the absent friend who had texted everyone her regrets earlier. He claimed, very casually, that until that moment, "we totally forgot about this." Apparently, if not for that text they'd have gone to the girlfriend's house to eat with a house guest.
What the heck? How do you make plans for three days later and totally forget about it? And why on earth would you casually admit this to your friends? I'd be ashamed of myself.
I know some will suggest that these people "aren't really my friends," but we always have an enjoyable time when we meet and they always seem interested in my life and very grateful for my invites, so I don't think that's it. I just don't get people sometimes.
I doubt they BOTH forgot. Sometimes people just say things to sound aloof.
Aloof is 'cool' in a way.
Like, "Oh I almost forgot I had a date with that girl." when in reality it's the only date you've had in 4 months and you've been obsessing about it. But nobody tells anybody stuff like that. Except me.
The problem with the paper calendar is it's not with me when I'm away from home and making appointments and scheduling events. So I have to remember to mark it on the calendar when I get home, which kind of defeats the purpose.
My phone is always within arms reach.
Yes I'm sure their phone was always within arms reach as well yet they almost forgot.Like I also stated I thought that phones have some sort of an alarm you can input to remind you of appts or such.
Also I would think that people would tend to remember easier fun activities with friends to do versus other sorts of appts but everyone is different.
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