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Some people are genuinely busy. I have a friend that I'm really close to. He's like a little brother to me but he is always feeling like you are because I'm always too busy. I keep telling him that it doesn't mean anything I'm just busy doing x,y,z but he worries and I feel bad.
The other issue is that everyone in my family is busy. My husband and I book up at least 3 weeks in advance, usually 4 or 5 weeks and sometimes 2 months or more. My sister will never be available with less than two months notice. It's a nightmare to get family together.
So, yeah it could be they aren't interested in hanging out with you but it's also possible that they really don't have the time or resources. You'd have to talk to them to find out.
One of my friend always claims to be busy when I ask to get together and do something fun, whats up with that and would you continue to trust them when they reply in that manner???
Depends on how often you ask. Depends on how much notice you give. What you consider fun may not be fun for someone else. Do they ask you to get together?
I already have some weekends booked into November. I just turned someone down for an event in August. I'm already busy that weekend....that weekend was planned last year!
Some of us do lead busy lives and the only real down time we get is when we're incredibly ill. That's me. The only thing that stopped me the last week and a half was the flu. I was almost hospitalized. I'm now back to my crazy busy self.
I agree the the first poster. First make sure that you are actually calling with enough advance notice to actually give someone an opportunity to be available. The last minute type spontaneity which can often be so much fun is best reserved for very close friends.
And, if you can say that you are giving them enough time, and have asked several times....and they always decline then you are probably reading them right and there is no mutual interest.
Then what I might say, the next time they decline and just to keep the doors open is... "Well how about the next time you want to get together you just give me a call". Have a great day. and hang up. No need to beat yourself up, or have hard feelings. People are all different and have different needs for company. It doesn't have to be that they don't like you.
When I was much younger I was trying to maintain a friendship with someone who kids were grown and she'd gone back to college. I guess my inviting her to go to coffee, or to stop by was making her feel like your friend might be feeling. She said to me once....I'm a friend, I'm just not an available friend.
I remember that I appreciated her tact and honesty. I certainly took that cue and quit trying to include her, and simply responded to her invites. We are still friends so many years later because of her very tactful style.
Either they are introverts and need to spend time to themselves, often quite a lot of time, and they are trying to let you down easy, or they don't like to socialize with you and they are trying to let you down easy.
Either way, take comfort in the fact that they think enough of you to spare your feelings.
They are not interested in getting together and instead of saying, "no, I don't want to hang with you anymore" they are politely trying to get their message across to say they have moved on by saying they are busy.
That's what I'm thinking as well. If they continually say they're busy and don't offer an alternate date to make plans, that's their subtle way of letting the OP know they're not interested in being friends.
I had a friend that said that to me. He always wanted me to go fishing or hang out. Each time I told him I was busy.
Until one day. He asked to join me on a day off from work. We worked together. I said sure. Well, he did come. I put him to work. Lol Just doing bits and pieces at home and going to a relatives house to help them. My cousin is pretty limited on what she could do. Her son works full time. They have a farm. So after working with my friend on the farm, he told me that now he understands why I don't have the time!
And on some days, I don't do anything, just relax and recharge my batteries. Sometimes on those recharge days, I do go fishing with him and visit. I honestly felt bad for him, he hardly has any friends and not from this area.
Really, a lot of people do things on the spur of the moment, until life gets in the way. Your friends might be blowing you off, but they could just be unable to be spontaneous.
My son and DIL are used to arranging their social stuff the day of. They text a bunch of people at 4 pm and then everyone who can, meets up. Now, they have a baby and lots of their friends do too. Now the babies are all portable and just lie there, but pretty soon everyone will start needing A LOT more time to arrange to do anything.
Really, a lot of people do things on the spur of the moment, until life gets in the way. Your friends might be blowing you off, but they could just be unable to be spontaneous.
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But someone who really wanted to see you would say, "I can't this weekend, and I'm out of town next weekend, but how's the weekend after that?" Continuous denial with no alternative suggestions is a brush off.
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