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This is a very close friend of mine whom I've known for years.
Both me and her are in the medical field, same school grads, blah blah.
For the past several years, I've noticed whenever we engaged in medical-related talks, even if it's just very casual, she insults my knowledge. If I express my opinion, she dismisses it, ridicules it, and so on.
Recently, I've managed to pass 2 very grueling license exams. She is going to a different country to get licensed, so she's not going the same path as me.
Anyway, I've noticed she ridicules my knowledge even more than usual.
She's told me things such as, don't be an idiot, stop saying stupid things, that's wrong and so on.
The next day, she'll tell me I'm such a smart person, such a hard worker, give me hugs, give me all sorts of compliments...
But if I even open my mouth on a medical subject, I'm wrong, I'm saying stupid things. I can ask another professional a question, she interrupts to give me explanations.
She's been very supportive and encouraging of me in the past. But ever since I've passed these exams, she lashes out at me out of the blue.
I've been ignoring and staying neutral but I feel like this is starting to get ridiculous.
... Anyway, I've noticed she ridicules my knowledge even more than usual. She's told me things such as, don't be an idiot, stop saying stupid things, that's wrong and so on.
The next day, she'll tell me I'm such a smart person, such a hard worker, give me hugs, give me all sorts of compliments...
... She's been very supportive and encouraging of me in the past. But ever since I've passed these exams, she lashes out at me out of the blue.
I've been ignoring and staying neutral but I feel like this is starting to get ridiculous.
She runs hot and cold depending on her mood and has been emboldened because you have put forth no resistance to her disparaging remarks. Personal pride in your own educational accomplishments must have special meaning to you ... therefore, stand your ground by making it clear you will no longer tolerate what she has said in the past and, of course, be prepared to move on from her permanently.
The inevitable headstone for this friendship will read as follows: Insecurity and jealousy claimed another victim.
I've been ignoring and staying neutral but I feel like this is starting to get ridiculous.
It is. Stand up for yourself!
If you want to be a doctor, you will have to get used to asserting your own opinion. So start now. She's not a good friend anyway, if she treats you like this, so ... stop allowing it.
This is a very close friend of mine whom I've known for years.
Both me and her are in the medical field, same school grads, blah blah.
For the past several years, I've noticed whenever we engaged in medical-related talks, even if it's just very casual, she insults my knowledge. If I express my opinion, she dismisses it, ridicules it, and so on.
Recently, I've managed to pass 2 very grueling license exams. She is going to a different country to get licensed, so she's not going the same path as me.
Anyway, I've noticed she ridicules my knowledge even more than usual.
She's told me things such as, don't be an idiot, stop saying stupid things, that's wrong and so on.
The next day, she'll tell me I'm such a smart person, such a hard worker, give me hugs, give me all sorts of compliments...
But if I even open my mouth on a medical subject, I'm wrong, I'm saying stupid things. I can ask another professional a question, she interrupts to give me explanations.
She's been very supportive and encouraging of me in the past. But ever since I've passed these exams, she lashes out at me out of the blue.
I've been ignoring and staying neutral but I feel like this is starting to get ridiculous.
Sounds like someone who is jealous of your success. I hate to say this, but I think is time for you to move on. If you stick around with this kind of attitude, you might get infect by this your so called friend.
It's time to politely but directly tell her to stop saying those things to you. Tell her what she's saying isn't true and that you don't like hearing it.
I once dated a guy who was getting a master's degree in counseling and he kept telling me, sort of in a joking/not joking way, that I had ADHD because I'd look out the window if something caught my eye, or get distracted if he was talking to me. It was annoying the crap out of me. I finally had to tell him that I had never been diagnosed with ADHD and if there was one thing in life I did well, it was academics, and that I was in no way handicapped by any kind of a learning disability.
I always want to try to keep good friends, and I feel like good friends have a right to stand up for themselves, and in an assertive (but not aggressive) way, let the other person know that their actions and words have been hurtful lately, and that you'd like to discuss it.
(I think you owe it to each other to try and clear things up.
Why is she getting licensed in another country? You said that since you passed exams in this country (whatever country you're in), she's been more dismissive of your opinions and will go against anything you say on the topic. Is she not good enough to practice where you're practicing? Is that why she is going to another country? Maybe the standards where you are are too high and she is jealous of you because she can't meet them but you could. I mean, you went to the same school together and all was good until this licensing thing came up? Strange, sounds like jealousy and insecurity.
I think she might not be aware of it. I think that deep down she is insecure and envious. I've seen this even between husband and wife, believe me. I think you should confront her and stop her doing this if she's your friend. But with tact, not accusing her but telling her you feel.
But if I even open my mouth on a medical subject, I'm wrong, I'm saying stupid things. I can ask another professional a question, she interrupts to give me explanations.
.
FWIW, I used to be friend with a woman who worked as an RN and she would constantly let us know that she knew more than anyone else about all kinds of medical topics. She would say "I'm smart and that's a problem for a lot of people" and "men won't date me because I scare them off because I'm smarter than they are". I would tell her, yes, you're very educated, that's great. Eventually I got tired of her personality, though. She would even shake her finger in people's faces to make her point about things. I don't think you can ever enjoy a friendship like this. It's always going to be one-upping and competition.
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