Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I told a longtime friend that I was starting my business. She laughed and said, "Don't quit your day job." That was 25 years ago. I have been continuously self-employed since then. Things between she and I have never been quite the same.
I've experienced this 2 or 3 times...oddly...all of it regarding diet and exercise.
I don't think that's odd at all.
Most people are completely self-centered, as far as I can tell. The people in your life didn't just feel threatened by your success -- they thought you were doing it not to make yourself look and feel better but to make them look bad.
Last year I was selected out of thousands of people to attend an invitation-only conference. It was an honor. I told our group of friends about it. The leader, who is loud and tends to dominate the conversation, told me it was meaningless so why bother. He started to change the subject but I said, "Excuse me, it is NOT meaningless. It is a distinction based on my hard work over the past six years. My husband's very proud of me and he's going too."
In my experience, really successful people have a story to tell that hurt them to the core, of someone who doubted their abilities. Usually it wasn't a close associate/friend/family member, but someone completely peripheral who completely dismissed their potential and ability.
And they set out to prove that person wrong, and did. In spades.
Many years ago, I worked for a guy whose intention was to put me down in almost any method. He said once, "You'll never succeed....God forbid you ever start a family." among other things. I was very young, maybe a year out of high school. He bragged about how successful he was in business (he owned a bike shop). Of course, I didn't stay working there after that!
Two years later, he went out of business.
People like that put others down as a way to build themselves up.
I used to know a woman who did this. She'd look up her ex-boyfriend's wives on the internet and then make disparaging comments about them, their faces and bodies. "Oh, look what he had to settle for, she's so ugly and she has big hips, that's who he's married to now." It was actually therapeutic for her in some way to put these women down. And that's just sad.
Curious to hear what experiences you've had with people who did not want to see you succeed. How did that manifest in their behavior towards you, and how did you handle it?
For me, I'm dealing with this from my immediate family. I trusted that a certain member of my family would be happy for my success, but it turns out they've been trying to undermine me behind my back. That stings.
Stick your head above the crowd and there will ways be someone waiting to lob it off. Do great things anyway.
I've dealt with people that had various levels of ASPD from low level sociopaths to slightly above. These people need a bullet in the head as far as I'm concerned. Course you can't say that in good company but ya know that it's a well spent bullet........I kid... sorta.
The problem is the really low low level sociopath, like the ones we have in our families the ones that just sorta needle you and for some reason you don't really know why, but every time you interact with them you just don't know why you just don't feel as great as you should afterward dealing with them. These little subtle messages add up after a while and you know when someone isn't good for you. This stuff isn't that hard to figure out. The problem is when it's people like your mom or your dad. That's when people have the hardest time with it.
That sweet little old lady next door or even our mothers aren't always that sweet.
If someone is toxic kick that f er to the curb and move the heck on......
Book called the social path next door explains a lot of this in detail. Very specific tests to see if someone is a toxic sociopath personality type. The new diagnosis is 'anti-social personality disorder', but whatever different name same crappy behavior.
This particular person, they can act like they are happy for me or support me at times, but they ALWAYS bring the focus back to themselves. It's never actually about ME, and it's like they cannot stand it when the spotlight is on me for any reason. They act like my accomplishments (or anything about me, really) is "just ok" but anything about them is just SO magnificent and significant. It's really shocking when you realize that someone really, genuinely does not wish you well and is trying to use any opportunity to drag you down to where they want you. Makes you not want to trust anyone!
It does happen from time to time. The best way I handle it is to give them the attention they need. If they are feeling less than successful I usually provide them with some support/advice/suggestions if they are willing to listen. The problem is theirs, not yours.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
