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I am looking for an opinion on something. Basically, every couple months I will put pictures up on social media site for whatever...whether it is pictures of my husband and I dressed up out to dinner, vacations, a selfie with myself and an animal I was spending time with, etc.
So I have this friend for about 20 years, and we go out to lunch maybe a couple times a year. I usually visit her while visiting family 2 hours away, and it hasn't been as often because I haven't been traveling as much. Anyway, she will private message me asking when I will be visiting next and to contact her, and nothing really else in between. Well, she will post random stuff to my pictures, and last time the responses were kinda like asking question that I felt were better suited for private messages. She made some strange remark recently about what I was wearing, asking if it was a special occasion, and made a comment about what my husband was wearing, and I felt it was a dig.
It just seems awkward and embarrassing when someone does this, and I have a gut feeling this friend has some kind of animosity toward me. I had a feeling my mother in law was making a point too...but I am not understanding what?? Why would someone do or say this stuff randomly.
I know I will get the lecture and a lot of who cares from people replying to this, but I am asking so I know whether to proceed with caution with this friend, maybe cut her off, or something?? I am not good picking up on this manipulative stuff and games people play...until things get really bad.
Sorry, but from you post I don't know what the problem is in what she said. One thing tho, sometimes you can get the wrong impression from a post because you can't hear the tone of voice and it can seem offensive when it isn't meant to be. Maybe private message her and ask her what she means by it.
I would private message her if she does it again and just say something like, "Your comment about my husband's outfit made me feel ______. You probably didn't mean anything, but it felt like you were insulting him..."
... or however you want to say it.
Know that if you confront her, you may lose the friendship. So you need to decide how much this matters to you.
She may just be a rube who doesn't understand how public someone's social media feed is. You also can delete her comments or block her.
Sorry, but from you post I don't know what the problem is in what she said. One thing tho, sometimes you can get the wrong impression from a post because you can't hear the tone of voice and it can seem offensive when it isn't meant to be. Maybe private message her and ask her what she means by it.
Agree! Same as with emails - emotions, or lack thereof, are difficult to ascertain when reading text.
I am looking for an opinion on something. Basically, every couple months I will put pictures up on social media site for whatever...whether it is pictures of my husband and I dressed up out to dinner, vacations, a selfie with myself and an animal I was spending time with, etc.
So I have this friend for about 20 years, and we go out to lunch maybe a couple times a year. I usually visit her while visiting family 2 hours away, and it hasn't been as often because I haven't been traveling as much. Anyway, she will private message me asking when I will be visiting next and to contact her, and nothing really else in between. Well, she will post random stuff to my pictures, and last time the responses were kinda like asking question that I felt were better suited for private messages. She made some strange remark recently about what I was wearing, asking if it was a special occasion, and made a comment about what my husband was wearing, and I felt it was a dig.
It just seems awkward and embarrassing when someone does this, and I have a gut feeling this friend has some kind of animosity toward me. I had a feeling my mother in law was making a point too...but I am not understanding what?? Why would someone do or say this stuff randomly.
I know I will get the lecture and a lot of who cares from people replying to this, but I am asking so I know whether to proceed with caution with this friend, maybe cut her off, or something?? I am not good picking up on this manipulative stuff and games people play...until things get really bad.
Can't you just enjoy and evening out with your husband or playing with an animal and not have to post about it?
Believe or not, but you can get a sense of satisfaction and power by keeping somethings to yourself.
Many today thanks to social media seem to think that others are fascinated with everything they do and what they had for lunch.
They're not.
While she may have animosity, maybe she thinks you're self absorbed?
Well, this is one of the common problems with <edit>sm and such, isn't it? People post, and they don't like the responses. People get into awkward situations, and don't know how to deal with them. People elicit remarks, and don't know for sure how to interpret them.
If I'm understanding you correctly that two people, your friend and your m-i-l, both made some kind of negative point, well, maybe they're right and you're wrong. Any time anyone goes "public" with anything, whether it's a picture on sm , a post here, or a declaration at a dinner party - you leave yourself open to negative feedback. That's life. People have different views. And it's not "randomly.' You're posting a picture, and she's reaching out to add a remark. I'm not sure it's a "manipulative game" - at least no more so than your own game where you're posting a picture and expecting compliments.
By the way, you say that she will PM you, but nothing in between. What you don't say is, are you reaching out to her? Are you sending her frequent emails, or telephoning her to keep in touch? I have the feeling that you seem to be complaining about "nothing in between," but you may be doing the same "nothing in between."
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-16-2017 at 09:01 AM..
I really don't understand Facebook and the things people post.
When someone posts a new photo of themselves it is just asking for the 'you look great' or 'you haven't aged a bit', etc. comments. Why else would you post pictures of yourself?
When I used to check Facebook I had a friend that posted a new picture of herself every week! It was pitiful. I think she lived for the 'just beautiful' comments.
I am surprised there is not more of the "Oh my, time has not been kind to you." comments.
I would just block her - that will save you both the trouble.
I don't either.
Let's face it most people don't really want to know or care about every detail of your life. If they think people do than they're delusional.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love boots.
So so true. I think posting less is better.
Agree, FB posts and photos how now been used by the police and in court cases. Against the very people who posted them, potential employers will also go on FB to see what the candidate is like.
Be a shame to lose out on a good job because the candidate has a picture of themselves drunk in a bar. Not everything you do has to be posted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love boots.
The young pretty girls are all about posting their latest close up. I feel like I can't say too much. If it would have existed when I was young I would be guilty of doing exactly the same thing.
I can see giving younger people a pass, they think this is the norm.
The OP clearly isn't teenager or in her 20s. They do know you can live your life without doing daily or weekly updates with photos.
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