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However, if they had bought food in advance for a Thanksgiving dinner at their house they were planning on ditching you for at least a day or two.
That's what I was thinking...what did they have for dinner....the dish they said they'd bring? If they were making thanksgiving dinner at home, they probably had to shop for it, didn't they realize they didn't need a turkey since they were eating somewhere else?
Had they been honest, there may have been a chance at friendship. I wouldn't be friends with someone who insulted my intelligence by giving me such an illogical excuse. Also--you didn't invite them over for "later" why explain why one can't make it after dinner, either, unless the story was prepared before the question.
So, we just relocated to a new state a few months ago, and prepared to spend Thanksgiving away from family/friends for the first time. We know this couple who also relocated not long ago, from the same state we relocated from. They came to visit us once before, since their relocation, and we hung out and had a good time. We invited them to have Thanksgiving dinner with us, a couple weeks ago and they accepted the invitation. We confirmed with them this week, and they said they were coming, and would bring a dish. This morning, I sent a text message, asking what time they'd make it, and that we'd be having dinner around 4 pm. 2 hrs later, a reply comes saying they would let us know. Then, silence, until my husband calls around 3.30pm to find out what their status is. Vmail and silence until 5.30pm, then he gets a reply saying they just finished cooking themselves and were about to eat at home, and probably won't want to go anywhere after that"...
They are new to town, and we had a first hangout that seemed to be going well with some common interests, but this left a sour taste in our mouth, since we bought extra food and spent all day cooking, expecting them to come...We feel if we accept someone's invitation, we couldn't pull something like that, and let them hang high and dry without our conscience bothering us.
What do you think, is there a chance for a solid frendship there?
WHY would you want to be friends with someone who is so rude?!?!?
I would just like to say that I personally would have found your invite a little off putting. Not bad, but it just seems a little weird to go from hanging out once to spending Thanksgiving together.
This may have sent off my spidey senses. The extra contact would be weird to me.
I know you meant well but I think this is a high pressure move. That does not mean they do not like you but maybe not Thanksgiving like you (yet)?
Also were they clear they would be the only ones? Nothing sucks worse than showing up for a holiday where everyone knows each other and you only know the hosts. That is not an hour commitment....it is like a 3 hour plus commitment.
Then they should have refused or called a couple days before and canceled.
Only people of poor character would do something that rude. From the sounds of it, they were debating all day whether or not they "felt like" coming, with no thought given to the trouble you'd gone to in cooking for four. Not to mention the fact that they'd earlier confirmed that they would be there and would bring a dish.
And who gives a s**t whether or not they had a fight that day? Even if they did, that doesn't excuse them from keeping you hanging all day and then standing you up.
I'm sure there are better friends to be had out there than these two.
Firstly, you had to keep asking them if they're coming because they don't have the consideration to keep you informed AS SOON AHEAD AS POSSIBLE. If they just decided to cook & stay at home, they must have known at the very, very least I'd say Thanksgiving morning or even the day before Thanksgiving. So why they couldn't just tell you, I'll never know.
But I do notice that it's very obvious in our society that people have no consideration for others anymore. Many, many people in general are very imposing, insincere, unapologetic, etc. I would be wary about being friends with them because they're already showing flaky, undependable characteristics.
That was incredibly rude, regardless of whether they had a fight or something else came up. All it would have taken was a text that something had happened and they couldn't make it.
If I were you I would not contact them again and certainly would never plan to do anything together again.
It may turn out that one of them makes contact with you and explains or apologizes. If so, I'd give them one more opportunity to not be jerks. But that would be the last time.
Then they should have refused or called a couple days before and canceled.
OH yes, unless they had the intention of coming and then were turned of by the contact. I am not saying it was overboard but it would have probably made me think that I do not wish to go.
Huh? What does "turned off by the contact" mean? My friends and I confirm dates and times for get-togethers all the time, both as reminders and because stuff can come up.
Why wouldn't the OP want to confirm that their guests were coming, especially since they were going to the trouble of cooking extra food?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Guard
OH yes, unless they had the intention of coming and then were turned of by the contact. I am not saying it was overboard but it would have probably made me think that I do not wish to go.
Huh? What does "turned off by the contact" mean? My friends and I confirm dates and times for get-togethers all the time, both as reminders and because stuff can come up.
Why wouldn't the OP want to confirm that their guests were coming, especially since they were going to the trouble of cooking extra food?
Hey, I am not saying it is not OK for you but for me it may seem a little pushy or needy.
But you are right, the people showed up for dinner, all was well.
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