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Guess a big issue in my life is communication. I don't know I felt things between my mom and I were improving, but she seems depressed money issues don't help her much. Mom continues to drink and smoke more while trying to be healthy during the day. We can't even be in the same room together. We barely talk.
My dad tries to talk to me, but our relationship has been distant for some time.
You might ask your mom if she is happy. Her answer might give you a clue about her emotional well being. Are there mental health problems in her family? Has something bad happened to her recently?
Possible action items for you: Take your mom out for lunch, or on an outing you both would enjoy. Spend time with her and talk to her about her life, or memories of your family, or other things she is interested in.
Do you think she likes having you visit or talk with her on the phone? Most moms love it when their adult children talk to them about their lives, or spend time with them.
If she doesn't respond to any of this, then I'd suspect depression. I would talk to your dad, as best you can. You are concerned about your mom. You need to try to talk to him about this concern.
Sometimes talking to people is hard. It is hard to be tactful. Sometimes the right words don't come our of our mouths. But the status quo isn't helpful. So, if your mom seems depressed, insist tactfully, on talking to your dad.
And it didn't occur to you to include information on your age and whether you're living with your parents? I have no idea what you mean about not being able to be in the same room together - does that mean that you fight, or that you're repelled by the smoke, or what?
I can't help noticing that there is nothing in your post that indicates that YOU are exerting yourself to talk. You can't force them to talk. All you can do is to start conversations yourself.
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