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I was recently made aware by a fellow coworker (via a mass email) that she has arranged a large group dinner and has invited all of us within our department and several outside of our department (about 30-40 people, in general, total), to attend.
I'm relatively new at my job. I get along well with most, if not all, of my coworkers. But I'm also an immensely private person, to the point of appearing stand offish. I also really have always kept my personal and professional lives separate.
In all honesty, I have no true desire to go.
However, I mentioned the invite to a fellow coworker, and he said "If you're going to survive in this environment and hope to be here long term, I think you should go. It's how things go around here and it's how the game is played. It looks good for you to make an appearance. Go!"
Do you socialize with coworkers outside of work? And do you enjoy it?
Would you consider a coworker stand-offish or less than friendly if s/he didn't attend a large out of work social event?
To be honest, it really depends on the crowd. I worked in one place where I knew there was a high-pressure happy hour environment with a lot of heavy drinking and I had no desire to be involved in that. I did make sure to go out to lunch with the group often enough to seem sociable, but I never met with them after work. My current office is a bit more low key and we tend to meet up more to see different bands. It's something where you can stay an hour and leave as you wish and it's really low key. It's more of an enjoyable activity as opposed to forcing yourself to socialize with coworkers just to socialize.
I was recently made aware by a fellow coworker (via a mass email) that she has arranged a large group dinner and has invited all of us within our department and several outside of our department (about 30-40 people, in general, total), to attend.
I'm relatively new at my job. I get along well with most, if not all, of my coworkers. But I'm also an immensely private person, to the point of appearing stand offish. I also really have always kept my personal and professional lives separate.
In all honesty, I have no true desire to go.
However, I mentioned the invite to a fellow coworker, and he said "If you're going to survive in this environment and hope to be here long term, I think you should go. It's how things go around here and it's how the game is played. It looks good for you to make an appearance. Go!"
Do you socialize with coworkers outside of work? And do you enjoy it?
Would you consider a coworker stand-offish or less than friendly if s/he didn't attend a large out of work social event?
I probably could have written this post. I tend to not want to socialize much with my co-workers, it probably sounds crappy, but I had to deal with them enough through work. I tend to be more of a loner in general and don't need as much people time as others tend to do.
I never go to company Christmas parties even though I probably should have, it's part of playing the game as you've eluded to....
The objective thing is is to try and be as social you can, again, to play the game and be a "team player" and all, but whatever, the older I get the less of a rip I give.
LOL, so long story short, it's probably best to ignore my advice cause my advice is biased heavily toward doing as little as you can but still manage to seem like a normal person. LOL....
I was recently made aware by a fellow coworker (via a mass email) that she has arranged a large group dinner and has invited all of us within our department and several outside of our department (about 30-40 people, in general, total), to attend.
I'm relatively new at my job. I get along well with most, if not all, of my coworkers. But I'm also an immensely private person, to the point of appearing stand offish. I also really have always kept my personal and professional lives separate.
In all honesty, I have no true desire to go.
However, I mentioned the invite to a fellow coworker, and he said "If you're going to survive in this environment and hope to be here long term, I think you should go. It's how things go around here and it's how the game is played. It looks good for you to make an appearance. Go!"
Do you socialize with coworkers outside of work? And do you enjoy it?
Would you consider a coworker stand-offish or less than friendly if s/he didn't attend a large out of work social event?
You have plans that night. I totally get not wanting to hanging out with coworkers, and let me tell you with large group dinners with people you don't really know well, the check will come up short. I guarantee it, you will end up kicking in way more money than what your part of the bill/tip is.
So you have a night class, a 14 year old dog with bladder issues, something.
Going to lunch during the week fine, a Christmas party, fine. You don't need to spend your free time socializing with people you don't want to, you won't be the only one who doesn't go.
You just say "I would have loved to but_________________". Use one of the excuses I mentioned or come up with your own.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to socialize with your co-workers, but it was a mistake to discuss it with one of them. If he tells people you said you would prefer not to attend, then any excuse you offer up will be suspect.
I would go, this time. You're new, and it certainly can't hurt to be seen as approachable.
Thankfully, such functions have no weight in terms of whether I progress or not in my career. I'd be open to a smaller dinner, but, when it comes to splitting checks for such a large group, I try to avoid the situation altogether by not going. Not to mention I just don't like large dinner parties.
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