Friends without Benefits? (girls, meeting, websites, friendship)
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OP, since you mentioned you have Autism, your best bet in meeting others is finding support groups with people that also have Autism. People will be more accepting of you. Most guys aren't going to waste their time with a woman unless they're getting something out of it. I had a guy I was spending a lot of time with in a platonic way and recently told me he had thought about having sex with me. I had to tell him I wasn't ready for that commitment. Attraction and sexual tension will eventually develop when spending a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex.
"The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief.
In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends.
Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends."
(research study was done using undergrads - would be interesting to see the same study done on older age groups)
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,801,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane
Interesting that so many younger guys would be so un-PC and sexist to discriminate against women as friends.
Speaking as a young guy, all I can say is that if nothing else, having female friends is a major help in relating to the opposite sex in a dating context as far as conversations. I think too many in this thread are missing a major opportunity. Y'all are telling me there is no woman, outside your family, that you like being around without sex?
And if anyone here knows me from the Relationships forum, I am far from PC or 100% fair when I talk about dating.
I am 19 years old male and I do not do friends without benefit.
It's a waste of time. I work full time and don't see the point in a platonic relationship with women.
If I'm not interested in a women sexually then it would just be acquaintances, not friends.
I think this is mostly the case for the guys in this thread.
I work full time. I want a lover and not just a friend. My time has become more limited now even with weekends off.
If Im clearly going to invest my time with someone its going to be my future girlfriend/wife, at this point in life I want to settle down with a partner.
No time for extra friends when I have more than enough.
I think this is mostly the case for the guys in this thread.
I work full time. I want a lover and not just a friend. My time has become more limited now even with weekends off.
If Im clearly going to invest my time with someone its going to be my future girlfriend/wife, at this point in life I want to settle down with a partner. No time for extra friends when I have more than enough.
Well that is fine if you are not interested in making any new friends, and you are not just discriminating by gender. Otherwise it is sexist.
I can only speak of my own personal experience. I can only be friends with a female if I'm not attracted to her at all. By not attracted I mean physically, emotionally, and completely different. If I'm a little bit attract, then there is a high possibility that I will develop stronger feelings.
Once I tried being friends with a girl I had some weak feelings for and over time my feelings grew. The relationship did not last and we went our separate ways. It caused me a lot of pain. Therefore, if I even suspect I like someone I don't bother with friendship. I am single. My highest priority after acquiring a job is finding a girl I can settle. I don't have time for female friendship nor do I want one. Maybe after I am out of the dating game, but for the time being I am not interested in female friendship with a women I am remotely attracted. In short, I am not the type of male that can remain friends with a female I am attracted to while being single.
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