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I had lovely Christmases as a child. I remember trying to stay awake on Christmas Eve to listen for Santa. I also had a lot of family and friends who gathered together.
I think I successfully provided the same kind of good Christmases for my children. Now everyone is spread far and wide, but I don't get all mopey about it.
The magic of the holidays is for children. i think so many people would be happier if they just let go of how great it was and move on to accept this. Now as an adult, if you want to have joy in the holiday season, you have to create it. Its not laid out for you anymore. Do something for other people...be it as much as "adopting" a low income family and giving them the best Christmas of their lives, or bake cookies for staff at your favorite office. And so many things in-between.
Right on.
Everything changes. People grow up. People die. People divorce, they get married, they move across country or out of the country, they get involved with their spouse's family, they get older and don't want to host big get togethers, they decide to travel for the holidays, they move to small homes, they decide to forego gifts altogether, they get religious, they lose their religion, you get the picture. It does no good to hang onto memories and compare new experiences to old ones every year. Get out and make new memories and have new adventures!
I had lovely Christmases as a child. I remember trying to stay awake on Christmas Eve to listen for Santa. I also had a lot of family and friends who gathered together.
I think I successfully provided the same kind of good Christmases for my children. Now everyone is spread far and wide, but I don't get all mopey about it.
Me either.
I spent this Christmas Eve alone for probably the first time in my life, and it was my choice. My husband is working out of state. My parents go to bed with the chickens. One son and one daughter both live out of the country. One son lives five hours away and was working on Christmas Eve. And one daughter with kids and a husband lives an hour away. So I went over there during the day and we baked and cooked and had a pleasant time, but I wanted to get home pretty early to avoid driving late and driving tired. Plus I just wanted to relax before the onslaught of the next day!
When I left her house, her little girls were just starting to dig through the cookie cutters looking for Christmassy shapes - so excited about their holiday evening and doing their little holiday traditions. And you know what - some of those traditions come from our family history, and some are new to our family...but it's THEIR Christmas Eve, not mine. As I left, I looked through the big window of their house, saw the lights twinkling, little heads wearing Christmas elf hats bobbing up and down as they ran around the house excitedly...and I thought, "My work here is done!" And I went home and had a beautiful, quiet, Christmas Eve by myself...well, with my dogs and my cat. And some BBC and then some Pandora Christmas music.
When I climbed contentedly into bed, my cat - who usually sleeps with me but sleeps curled up by himself - came and snuggled in right beside me, with his little paws and head resting on my chest. And that was one of the best Christmas presents I've ever received!
It's funny how you never realize just how dysfunctional your family was until you grow up and look back. Yeesh!
I try not to do that. I can see things clearly now and it's not a pleasant picture. My older sister holds onto a lot. I don't want to burst her little bubble of nostalgia but we definitely see things differently. Maybe she's comfortable with dysfunction and has brought it along through life like a turtle carries its shell.
I'm old, energetic, happy, and active. I rarely think about my childhood holidays filled with anxiety waiting for the axe to fall from two drunk dysfunctional parents. The holidays were not a source of joy but rather a time to duck and hide, and be disappointed by last minute cheap presents. Our holidays have been family free for twenty eight of the thirty years we've been married. They are spent with good food, good wine, and with best friends. I wouldn't trade these years for one hundred of my miserable childhood holidays.
When life moves on you have to move on. Yea past times may have been simple and enjoyed but if the past is the past make a future. As mentioned to me Christmas is for the kids in large part. Find a kid or kids and put a smile on their face or bring the spirit of joy to someone. Next year cost a retirement home and visit with someone or if you know a friend in the same way start planning a trip to Vegas for Christmas.
You may be older but what happens in Vegas for the most part stays in Vegas. Live in the now or the future but the past is gone. Not to be forgotten but gone. FORWARD march.
The magic of the holidays is for children. i think so many people would be happier if they just let go of how great it was and move on to accept this. Now as an adult, if you want to have joy in the holiday season, you have to create it. Its not laid out for you anymore. Do something for other people...be it as much as "adopting" a low income family and giving them the best Christmas of their lives, or bake cookies for staff at your favorite office. And so many things in-between.
Totally agree. Christmas is for kids! I had good memories and if I want to have the same now, it is up to me to make them.
I do think back to my childhood Christmases, but not with longing.
When I was a kid I looked forward to Christmas with some excitement because I had nothing else to compare all the flaws to. Looking back on it, they really weren't that great - for lots of reasons. I think I created better Christmases for my own family later, and today my husband and I find the joy like two kids (and we do NOT think it's just for kids; not at all).
It was definitely more fun as a kid. It barely registers now. I feel it's for kids and the religious. Neither of which apply to me.
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