Why are people afraid of odd or eccentric people and like mainstream people so much more? (adults, business)
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OP, this is nothing new. It is common for many people all over the world to be wary of those who unexpectedly deviate from the perceived norm and those who they have trouble understanding. That wariness can be expressed in a lot of different ways. This has been true since the inception of mankind.
It is also common in the workplace. After all, the people who hire you are imperfect human beings too, with feelings, biases, judgments, ignorance of various things and so on...and those things may influence their management style, hiring decisions, ethics and overall worldview. Likewise with your coworkers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3
You are new and dont know the history of the office. Always best to stay back and determine the office personality before starting to make judgements about the "weird" lady or the other workers.
It is always possible that in the past she did something to someone or to all of them that they cannot tolerate but since they are in a workplace, they must get along and do their jobs.
It is also possible that they are a bunch of nasty coworkers with their own clique. Stay quiet and stay out of the groups until you have figured out the office politics.
That is correct. OP, judging too quick may not bode well for your future at that company...your coworkers may think of you as stuck-up, a know-it-all, or just an a-hole. Also OP, use that "stay back" time to determine if the company climate is right for you in the first place. If it isn't, then quietly make plans to find another job after 1.5 - 2 years or so.
Honestly, most decent HR and hiring managers take current office politics and company culture/image into account when deciding who to hire. Sometimes they swing and miss, but a manager that's a good judge of character usually doesn't. Going "outside the norm" on hires can have valuable benefits (fresh ideas, perspectives, "blue ocean", etc), but a bad fit can cause significant problems within the workplace.
It is important for just about any employee in any field to have at least some basic skill in politics, as well as recognizing the "game".
If these people at work would fire you about who you're friends with though--I wouldn't stay employed in a place like that if I could help it. If I could find other work in my field I would be gone. Life is hard enough, you don't need people acting that stupid to make it even worse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curious Discussion
The incrowd controls the agenda at many employers and if it is fair or not, that is the truth. Fit in or your not going anywhere!
I wouldn't conform my values or lower my standards to such as that. If that's what it takes to go somewhere, I'd rather stay where I'm at and get by in whatever lowly position I'm consigned to. Playing their game is really not worth it to me to sacrifice who I am and what I believe in. But maybe materialism is your thing and then I guess you've got to conform. Sounds like your life might contain a lot more BS than it needs to have in it. But I guess more money may be worth it to you. For others it's not.
If you are rich or an artist then it is OK to be weird, but if you are an office worker, then you can't be eccentric, weird or unusual. I am not talking about mentally ill or dangerous or someone that makes people uncomfortable or is not able to function in society. I am talking about eccentric, interesting but odd people. People whose personality is outside of the mainstream.
I started a new job and started talking to an eccentric lady who sat next to me. She seemed so interesting but odd beat. A couple of employees came up to me later and said, "don't talk to her, she is weird!" I noticed even though the eccentric woman was very nice and a hard worker, nearly everyone would have nothing to do with her.
Is it a crime to be unusual?
I love the eccentric, weird and unusual people! I'm sure I'm one of them
Funny, they always seem to be the smart ones and the ones who work hard.
The problem with "mainstream" clones is that they are afraid of "different". They don't know what they're missing.
If you are rich or an artist then it is OK to be weird, but if you are an office worker, then you can't be eccentric, weird or unusual. I am not talking about mentally ill or dangerous or someone that makes people uncomfortable or is not able to function in society. I am talking about eccentric, interesting but odd people. People whose personality is outside of the mainstream.
I started a new job and started talking to an eccentric lady who sat next to me. She seemed so interesting but odd beat. A couple of employees came up to me later and said, "don't talk to her, she is weird!" I noticed even though the eccentric woman was very nice and a hard worker, nearly everyone would have nothing to do with her.
Is it a crime to be unusual?
I know I hate that! I'm usually drawn to unusual type people as long as they are kind and hopefully are nice to animals. Give me a nice weirdo any day!!!
1) The media makes sure to paint psychotic killers as "odd," "loners," and "weird." You know why they do this? It's because "normal" people like to think they are safe with other normal people. Normal people don't like to accept that everyone is one bad day away from doing something insane, even despite plenty of murderers being described as friendly, average people.
2) Sheep/bully mentality. We must all dress the same, think the same, and act the same. Different people need to be reprimanded and ostracized into being "normal" like us. Afterall, why would someone want to be different? Shouldn't they want to be normal like us? Like we have to be to fit in? How dare they try to be themselves when I gave up my own individuality to fit in!?
3) Odd/eccentric people require more effort to befriend. The typical small talk about nothing might not interest them so you might have to engage them in a different way. Normal people don't like that. Normal people like things nice, average, boring, predictable, and uninteresting.
Oh, and you say it's okay being weird and rich? Yes, of course! Isn't everything deemed okay when a rich person does it?
Primates are glorified primates with delusions of grandeur.
Primates are tribal.
Every group of people will naturally form social hierarchies. The specific concrete standard by which hierarchies form may change from group to group. But our basic primate nature never will.
I don't why people are this way but I see this as "normal" i.e. ostracizing anybody that is a little different as well as using the power of the group to bully.
Your dilemma is that you need to fit in to be able to do your job. Doesn't mean you have kiss ass with the power group but you will need to learn to be diplomatic with them and try to trick them into thinking you care about their group and your standing. I wouldn't shut off the eccentric woman totally but be more aware of who is around when you talk to those on the outs.
SO TRUE! I started to write this but saw this post.
Primates (I think you mean humans right?) are glorified primates with delusions of grandeur.
Primates are tribal.
Every group of people will naturally form social hierarchies. The specific concrete standard by which hierarchies form may change from group to group. But our basic primate nature never will.
Honestly, we are just gorilla's in pants with better tools
If these people at work would fire you about who you're friends with though--I wouldn't stay employed in a place like that if I could help it. If I could find other work in my field I would be gone. Life is hard enough, you don't need people acting that stupid to make it even worse.
I wouldn't conform my values or lower my standards to such as that. If that's what it takes to go somewhere, I'd rather stay where I'm at and get by in whatever lowly position I'm consigned to. Playing their game is really not worth it to me to sacrifice who I am and what I believe in. But maybe materialism is your thing and then I guess you've got to conform. Sounds like your life might contain a lot more BS than it needs to have in it. But I guess more money may be worth it to you. For others it's not.
Yeah you're right in a way but what if the fact you don't fit in leaves you to be unemployed? I wish desperately to fit in because I know I can't get a job that way. If I was working at a job like that I'd only leave it if I knew I could get something else.
Yeah you're right in a way but what if the fact you don't fit in leaves you to be unemployed? I wish desperately to fit in because I know I can't get a job that way. If I was working at a job like that I'd only leave it if I knew I could get something else.
Working is important so this should come first over individualism as long as going along with the crowd (I imagine just enough to get a job) doesn't violate any moral laws. The poster seemed to imply that conforming to the inner crowd was the only way to move up what I think was implied to be the corporate chain. That is where I would prefer to remain amongst the lower rungs and get paid less than be in this inner crowd. Sorry, don't need anymore BS here than I already have. But some people prefer this, so they can go along and have fun with their foofy bigwigs and try to keep abreast of all their little games, I'll stay among the riff-raff and enjoy life more.
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