Anyone here have fickle parents? (father, member, children, brother)
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I swear, as great a parents as they are, I sometimes think I have the most fickle parents in the world. Let me give an example that just happened.
Me, my parents and brother got back from a boat trip today (took 5-6 hours cause of wind and waves, left around 10:30 am). Once we docked and went home. Me and my Dad left to go to 7-eleven and then get a pizza pie for dinner. Once we got home, my Dad said he was going back to the boat marine to wash up, and close the boat. I told him there may not be any pizza left once you come back, and that said we should all eat first, then you can go to the boat. He said it's alright cause he has the fish dinner from Saturday (went to a restaurant last night, but he took the rest of his food to go cause he couldn't eat it anymore). I told him twice that there may not be any pizza left, but he said it's alright. I ate 3 slices, my brother ate 3, and my Mom ate 2. We all only had a very light breakfast before we took off for the boat ride back home, so we were all hungry.
My Dad comes back home, and goes all flabbergasted that we didn't leave him a slice, and that he'll remember that one (which is BS since he has said this in the past to no avail). I wanted to scream and tell him that I mentioned TWICE that there may not be any pizza left (My Mom had to tell him about the fish dinner he said, and then seemed to calm down somewhat). I didn't want to yell because I knew a huge argument would have ensued (even though I've argued in the past, I didn't feel like arguing tonight cause of the huge trip, and we were all tired, so I dropped it). The funny thing is I had a feeling my Dad would be pissed, even though he mentioned the fish dinner of his. Goes to show you how well I know my Dad.
But, this is one reason I can't wait to graduate college and get the hell out of their house for good. I'm only putting up with their BS cause I have to, since I still live with them, and my Dad is paying for my education. Once I get my own place and what not, I won't deal with their stupidity, and won't be afraid to stand up for myself more when they're in the wrong.
First off, I'm not using my parents (trying to stand up for myself when it comes to BS isn't using anyone). Second, actually post something relevant to the topic I posted. Otherwise, just take your presumptuous thoughts out of this thread.
It IS weird that he threw a fit about the pizza after you reminded him before he left.
But there are so many other ways it could have been handled:
You and your brother could have had 1 slice then helped him lock up the boat and eat the rest later..
You could have set aside 2 slices on a plate for him.
You could have ordered 2 pies??
Weird all around.
Someone will come on here and ask you if he is showing early onset dementia.
Me and my Mother have actually talked about this the past few months or so.
Me and my Mom both feel like he's been showing signs of early onset Alzheimer's/dementia. The past year or so, he very OFTEN forgets a lot of stuff, and/or says or does something that's contradictory to what he had said (like the pizza situation). My Mom mentioned this to my Dad a few months ago, and he threw a fit claiming he's fine (to be expected, but..)
I had told him when we left the house if he wanted help locking up and washing the boat before we went to 7-eleven and get pizza, but he insisted that he would do it himself after we came home with the pizza.
Like I said, he had the fish dinner to eat (which he just finished, and said he was full). Eating pizza and fish doesn't go together. Ordering 2 pies would have also been overkill cause there likely would have remained 5-6 slices, and it would have been a waste.
Me and my Mother have actually talked about this the past few months or so.
Me and my Mom both feel like he's been showing signs of early onset Alzheimer's/dementia. He very OFTEN forgets a lot of stuff, and then says or does something that's contradictory to what he had said (like the pizza situation).
I had told him when we left the house if he wanted help locking up and washing the boat before we went to 7-eleven and get pizza, but he insisted that he would do it himself after we came home with the pizza.
Like I said, he had the fish dinner to eat (which he just finished, and said he was full). Eating pizza and fish doesn't go together. Ordering 2 pies would have also been overkill cause there likely would have remained 5-6 slices, and it would have been a waste.
If it happens often enough, especially so close together, you may want to try to get him in for a checkup.
If it happens often enough, especially so close together, you may want to try to get him in for a checkup.
I hope he was just being grumpy.
I'm going to chalk it up to tiredness. The trip back was hectic as hell.
Still, it was weird. It would have been one thing if I didn't remind him twice of the possibility of there being no pizza when he comes back, but I tell him, and he still threw a fit. Was just weird..
What I should have said is that sometimes they do fickle stuff like that, and it makes me want to move out of there as soon as possible. Nothing wrong with that sort of thinking, and it's not using them. I'm planning to get a job soon, and almost always pay for my own things (past couple of years). I also always give a gift to my parents on their birthdays, Mother and Father's day, etc.
Anyways, I just went down to do a massage on my Dad for a few minutes (after he asked my Brother and said no), and he acts as if nothing even happened. I told him sorry about the pizza thing, but the slices were eaten pretty quickly, and you had said you were going to eat the fish dinner. His expression said it was alright (didn't say a word about it).
Kids sometimes don't realize that their parents are humans with all the same needs and wants as they, the kids, have. A good parent knows that it isn't healthy to expect their children to meet their emotional needs, that it needs to be the other way around.
That requires a lot of self-discipline and some self-denial for a lot of years. At times that gets to the best of us.
It could be that your dad went to effort and expense to show the family a good time and he hoped to feel appreciated for it. Instead he went too far by not recognizing he was at his limit and said he'd take care of the boat so you could go ahead and eat. Coming back and seeing that no one had even saved him a piece was the straw that broke the camel's back.
What it sounds like is that you've got a good dad who hasn't learned when to take care of himself or hasn't learned how to accept help when he needs it. That's not an uncommon problem.
And, how many of us haven't said we don't want or need something when, upon second thought, we realized that we didn't really mean it? When we're tired its especially difficult to be in touch with what we want. He was being generous.
Is that BS? I wouldn't call it that unless there's more to the story and you think he was deliberately trying to mess with your mind. I'd call it human.
Next time jump in and help even if you aren't asked. Don't leave dad to do it by himself. Might make a difference.
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